CO 


PR\CE 


S\.2S 


PINK   MARSH 


FINK 


PINK  MARSH 

> " 
A  Story  of  the  Streets  and  Town 


BY 

GEORGE   ADE 

AUTHOR  OF  "ARTIE 

PICTURES    BY 

JOHN  T.  McCUTCHEON 


HERBERT  S.  STONE  tf  CO. 

CHICAGO  &  NEW  YORK 
1897 


COPYRIGHT,     1897,     BY 
HERBERT  S.   STONE   &  CO 


THIS  STORY  IS  REWRITTEN  FROM  A 
SERIES  OF  SKETCHES  WHICH  FIRST 
APPEARED  IN  THE  CHICAGO  RECORD 


On  Spending  a  Million   Dollars 

He  happened  ir{t£  -;be  place  one  after 
noon  in  the  late  autumn.  ^  They  met  by 
chance — the  usua.l  way.  I£  he  hz-.d  shaved 
himself  that  morning,  as  he  should  have 
done,  he  never  would  have  met  Pink. 
Perhaps  Fate  issued  a  sub-decree. 

That  afternoon  as  he  moved  through 
the  weaving  crowd  toward  the  corner 
where  his  trolley-car  stopped  for  him,  he 
felt  of  his  face  and  found  it  stubbled.  The 
shop  opened  invitingly  at  the  bottom  of  a 
white  stairway.  Most  of  the  barber-shops 
in  Chicago  are  underground.  He  de 
scended  to  the  shop  and  sat  in  the  first 
chair.  When  he  had  been  tilted  back  he 
closed  his  eyes  so  as  to  keep  away  the 
horrors  of  a  ceiling-design.  The  conver- 


912766 


PINK    MARSH 

sation,  which  had  ceased  when  he  entered, 
was  then  taken  up  again. 

"  I  know,  but  s'pose  you  did  find  a 
million  dollars.  Would  n't  you  keep  it?" 

"  That  depends." 

".Don'  ask  me,  Misteh  Adams.  I 
woul(fn*'/keep  \io  jnjilftdnidollahs  faw  min 
ute,  -would. I  ?  ..TThey  'cfhaye  to  chlo'fohm 
me** to* 'get' -at.  mdnip.y  f^ay.  f/om  me." 

"  Yes,  but  then  if  you  give  it  back  to 
the  man  that  owned  it  he  might  give  you 
as  much  as  twenty  thousand  dollars." 

"  Who  would  ?  My  goodness,  misteh 
white  man  bahbeh,  people  don'  get  no 
million  dollahs  nowadays  by  givin'  'way 
money.  No,  seh!  Huh-uh!  It 's  'bout 
fo'  to  one  'at  any  man  's  got  as  much  as 
million  dollahs  ain't  goin'  'o  open  up. 
Chances  is  he'd  give  you  'bout  fo'  dol 
lahs." 

"  Yes,  but  what  good  would  this  money 
do  you?  If  you  went  to  throwin'  a  million 
dollars  around  do  n't  you  s'pose  the  police 

2 


PINK    MARSH 

'd  be  onto  you?  They  'd  be  lookin'  for 
the  man  that  found  the  money." 

u  You  could  n't  have  that  money  ten 
minutes  without  flashin'  it." 

u  Look  heah,  I  fool  you.  Do  you  reckon 
I  'd  spend  'at  money  right  away  ?  No,  seh! 
I  'd  wait  'bout  six  months  an'  'en  I  'd  jus' 
begin  lettin'  go  little  at  time.  I  'd  pull 
big,  elegant  hundehd  out  o'  my  cloze  an' 
some  one  say,  '  Boy,  wheah  you  get  'at 
green  stuff? '  I  say  I  win  it  on  'e  faw- 
'eign  book.  I  'd  p'ten'  to  be  gamblin', 
un'e'stand  ?  I'd  go  to  New  Yawk  o'  some 
othah  place  an'  bring  roll  back  an'  tell 
'em  I  win  it." 

"  What  are  you  givin'  us?  As  soon  as 
you  got  hold  of  that  stuff  you'd  go  down 
and  buy  all  the  blue  clothes  on  Clark 
street." 

"  Then    he  'd    get   gay    an'    tell    that 

Twenty-fourth  Street  girl  all  about  it  an' 

she  'd  tell  somebody  else  an'  they  'd  have 

him  in  the  booby-hatch  in  about  two  hours." 

3 


PINK   MARSH 

At  this  there  was  general  laughter,  and 
the  one  who  had  been  consigned  to  the 
"  booby-hatch"  laughed  hoarsely  after  the 
others  had  quieted. 

"  No,  seh;  I  guess  I  wouldn'  betteh  stay 
'roun'  'iss  town,"  he  said.  "  I  get  me 
one  of  'em  p'ivate  Pullman  cahs  an'  go 
travelin'  'roun'  'e  country.  I  wouldn'  do 
thing — 'bout  fo'  cullud  boys  to  wait  on 
me.  'Heah,  boy,  open  'notheh  box  of  'em 
cigahs  an'  put  two  mo'  bottles  on  ice.' 
My  goodness!  Get  into  new  town,  wave 
my  han"  jus'  like  'at — up  come  caih'age. 
Get  in,  you  know,  drive  'roun'  mos' 
p'omirient  thuhfaihs — " 

"  What's  that  last  word  ?  " 

"  He  do  n't  know.  He  heard  somebody 
out  on  Armour  Avenue  say  that." 

"  I  'd  be  strong  'ith  'em  cullud  guhls 
too.  My  goodness,  Miss  Ruth,  who 's 
'at  new  gemman  'ith  all  'em  di'mon's  an' 
rubies.  Yes,  seh,  I  'd  have  'em  settin' 


PINK    MARSH 

traps  faw  me!  Could  n't  keep  'em  away 
nohow." 

u  I  guess  you  've  had  some  trouble  al 
ready  keepin'  away  that  one  you  owe  the 
laundry  bill  to." 

"  Hush!  man! "  and  he  laughed  again. 
The  barber  at  work  had  to  poise  his  razor 
until  he  could  control,  himself,  while  the 
man  in  the  chair  smiled  through  the  lather. 

"  Le'  me  tell  you — I  'd  pay  'at  woman 
what  I  owe  'uh  an'  give  huh  hundehd 
dollah  bill,  an'  'en  I  'd  neveh  speak  to  huh 
agen.  She  eveh  come  up  to  me  I  say, 
1  Woman,  I  can't  place  you ;  go  back  to 
yo*  own  kind  o'  people.' ' 

"  O,  you  'd  get  proud,  would  you  ?  I 
do  n't  s'pose  you  'd  speak  to  any  of  us, 
would  you." 

"  I  might  'membah  seein*  you  some- 
wheahs,  but  I  sutny  wouldn'  know  you 
ve'y  well.  I  'd  be  too  busy  countin* 
money  to  fool  my  time  on  bahbehs.  C'ose 


PINK    MARSH 

I  'd  let  you  have  dollah  o'  two,  but  you 
would  n'  see  me  minglin'  'ith  pooh  men. 
You  want  to  see  me,  you  send  in  yo'  cahd 
by  'at  cullud  boy,  an'  I  look  it  oveh  an* 
say,  c  Adams?  Adams?  Seems  to  me  I  see 
'at  name  somewheahs.  Tell  'im  to  wipe 
his  feet  an'  come  in.' " 

"  Yes,  an'  then  you  'd  go  in  an*  find 
him  at  a  gold  table,  with  a  watermelon  on 
one  side  of  him  and  a  fried  chicken  on  the 
other." 

"  That  ain'  no  bad  guess,  mistah!  You 
can't  tell,  neetheh — might  be  po'teh-house 
steak  'ith  onions.  I  'd  jus'  be  settin' 
theah,  stahvin'  to  death!  You  know  I 
have  all  'ese  cullud  men  to  wait  on  me — 
one  to  brush  my  cloze,  one  to  shine  my 
shoes,  'notheh  to  wait  on  'e  table,  an'  I  'd 
have  one  cullud  boy  'ith  nothin'  to  do 
'cept  think  o'  what  I  want  to  eat.  '  Heah 
boy,  what  you  goin'  'o  gi'  me  f  sup- 
peh? '  '  Well,'  he  say,  c  I  got  a  little 
po'teh-house — an'  quail,  an'  pohk-chops 
6 


PINK    MARSH 

— le  's   see,    sweet  potatoes,    ice-cream, 
chahlum-rushe — ' ' 

"  Look  out  there!  " 

u  O,  got  to  have  some  of  'at  stuff — 
cla'et,  an'  fancy  cakes  an'  champagne." 

u  What  are  you  talkin'  about?  You 
wuz  n't  built  to  stand  anything  better  'n 
gin." 

"  See  heah,  misteh,  when  I  'uz  waitin' 
on  'e  table  faw  big  banq'et  an'  gemman 
leave  some  of  'at  champagne — I  s'pose  I 
took  'at  wine  an'  th'owed  it  away,  did  n' 
I  ?  Yes,  seh,  I  used  to  get  it  befo'  'em 
little  beads  stop  jumpin'." 

Then  there  was  a  shuffle  of  feet,  for 
some  one  had  come  down  the  stairway. 
A  gruff  voice  asked,  "  Say,  can  you  fix  up 
these  tans  for  me  in  a  hurry?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  'at's  sutny  jus'  what  I  can 
do." 

"  While  you  're   rubbin'   out   that  ten- 
cent  piece  you  can  think  over  some  more 
ways  to  spend  that  million." 
7 


PINK    MARSH 

" — When  he  gets  it." 

"  The  most  money  he  ever  had  at  one 
time  was  sixteen  dollars.  That  was  when 
he  got  on  that  seven-to-one  shot.  He 
did  n't  work  for  three  days." 

There  was  a  sound  of  suppressed  laugh 
ter  in  the  corner.  The  man  who  had 
chanced  into  the  place  unfolded  himself 
from  the  chair  and  saw  the  colored  boy  at 
work,  throbbing  with  exertion. 

u  Brush!  "  shouted  the  barber,  but  the 
customer  did  not  wait  for  the  ceremonial. 
He  ran  for  his  car,  and  all  the  way  home 
he  leaned  back  in  a  warm  reverie  and 
helped  the  boy  spend  the  million. 


MISTER  ADAMS 


On  Being  Virtuous  in  Order  to 
be  Happy 

Without  confessing  to  himself  that  he 
remembered  the  first  visit,  he  went  to  the 
shop  one  morning  to  have  his  shoes 
cleaned.  The  first  conversation  was  the 
mere  commonplace  which  passes  between 
the  employer  and  the  employed.  It  re 
lated  to  the  kind  of  polish  to  be  used. 
Pink  saw  before  him  only  a  pair  of 
shoes.  He  little  suspected — but  there  is 
no  need  of  anticipating. 

The  customer  sat  in  an  arm-chair 
which  was  placed  on  top  of  a  box-like 
rostrum.  The  box  and  the  chair  were 
studded  with  brass  tacks  and  other  metal 
ornaments.  They  would  have  served  as 
a  Congo  throne.  William  Pinckney 

9 


PINK    MARSH 

Marsh  usually  had  the  market  page  of 
yesterday's  paper  tucked  under  the  chair 
cushion. 

Pink's  shirt  was  a  black  and  white 
study  of  trellises,  with  vines  climbing  up 
them. 

The  vest  was  double-breasted,  and  had 
been  once  polka-dot  silk,  but  now  the  dots 
were  mostly  blurred  away  and  the  pockets 
had  begun  to  ravel. 

His  trousers  were  black  and  brown 
check,  worn  thin  at  the  knees  and  ragged 
at  the  bottom. 

The  shoes  were  extremely  pointed,  two 
sizes  too  large,  cracked  across  the  top  and 
protuberant  at  the  heel. 

When  Pink  was  dressed  for  the  street 
he  wore  also  a  double-breasted  coat  tightly 
buttoned,  a  spreading  blue  necktie  that 
had  been  handled  once  or  twice  too  often, 
a  high  white  collar  and  a  light  brown  hat 
with  a  high  crown.  Pink  improved  as 
you  studied  him  from  the  ground  upward. 
10 


PINK    MARSH 

His  apparel  might  have  been  judged  as 
follows  : 

Shoes — Utterly  disreputable. 

Trousers — Shabby. 

Coat — Badly  worn. 

Necktie — Showy. 

Collar — Splendid. 

Hat — Magnificent. 

What  need  to  tell  of  the  coal-black 
face,  the  broad-flanged  nose,  the  elastic 
mouth  opening  on  teeth  of  pearly  white 
ness,  and  the  close  growth  of  kinky  hair? 

A  song  of  passing  popularity  tells  that 
all  members  of  the  Ethiopian  division 
"  look  alike."  Pink  was  one  of  a 
thousand — that  is,  so  far  as  mere  appear 
ance  was  concerned. 

When  it  came  to  a  consideration  of  the 
higher  being — the  sure-enough  ego — Pink 
was  different.  He  saw  things  from  his 
own  standpoint,  and  there  was  room  for 
no  one  else  on  his  pedestal. 

On  this  first  morning  he  came  to  his 
ii 


PINK    MARSH 

task  languidly,  and  even  lazily.  After 
some  sleepy  preparations,  he  drew  a  heavy 
sigh  and  attacked  the  shoes  fiercely.  It 
will  never  be  known  whether  Pink 
was  a  tired  mortal  driven  to  work,  or  an  in 
dustrious  mortal  who  had  to  restrain  him 
self  by  certain  affectations. 

He  was  at  his  best  when  he  walked. 
He  allowed  his  feet  to  shuffle  so  that  the 
movement  was  a  sort  of  slow  dance-step. 

He  seemed  to  be  keeping  time  to  music 
which  only  the  rapt  and  colored  soul  may 
hear. 

The  morning  customer  learned  in  two 
or  three  visits  that  the  barbers  liked  Pink 
and  pitied  him.  They  were  men  who 
had  given  much  study  to  public  questions. 
Pink  came  in  on  their  back-and-forth 
discussions.  He  pieced  in  observations 
which  amused  them,  and  also  convinced 
them  that  Pink  lacked  seriousness  of 
purpose.  They  regarded  him  as  a  sort  of 
court  jester.  Sometimes  they  patronized 
12 


PART  OF  THE  MORNING  PAPER 


PINK    MARSH 

him  half  in  kindness,  but  they  never  forgot 
that  there  was  a  social  chasm  between  a 
barber  and  a  "  brush." 

Perhaps  Pink  did  not  fully  under 
stand  the  significance  of  their  manner 
toward  him,  or  he  would  have  been  cast 
down  in  spirit.  As  it  was,  the  humility 
which  he  made  his  main  stock  in  trade, 
was  merely  an  outward  pretense. 

The  morning  customer  learned  this  on 
the  occasion  of  his  third  visit,  up  to  which 
time  the  conversation  had  been  along  the 
lines  of  rather  strict  formality.  At  the 
second  visit  he  crossed  Pink's  palm 
with  silver,  so  that  when  he  came  the  third 
time  he  saw  a  mellow  smile  in  the  corner. 
The  barbers  were  talking  on  the  relations 
of  Church  and  State  that  morning. 

The  morning  customer  appeared  to 
be  amiable  and  receptive  when  Pink 
looked  up  at  him. 

"  Listen  at  'em  toss  'at  lang'age.  Ain't 
they  wahm  ?  If  you  wan  'o  know  any- 
13 


PINK    MARSH 

thing,  you  jus'  come   to  'em  boys  an'  ask. 
If  'ey  do  n'  know,  no  use  to  look  in  'em 
books.     It  ain't  theah — could  n'  be." 
u  They  're  up  on  everything,  eh  ?  " 
u  Oh-h-h,  wise  —  wise  boys.    Cong'ess 
could  n'  tell  'em  boys  nothin'  'bout  how  to 
do  it.     No,  seh,  'em  rascals  is  sutny  good." 
Pink  folded  the  drying-cloth  and  went 
at  the  shoe  again,  singing  softly : 
"Misteh  Johnson,  tuhn  me  loose, 
Got  no  money  but  good  es-cuse; 
O,  Misteh  Johnson,  I  wis't  you  would. 
Oh-h-h  —  " 

"  A  new  song? "  asked  the  morning 
customer. 

"  Ain'  it  wahm?  " 

"  Who  's  Mister  Johnson?  " 

"  Misteh  Johnson,  he  's  a  coppeh.  He 
come  in  on  a  small  game  o'  craps,  an'  'at 's 
what  'at  cullud  fellow  's  singin'  to  him  at 
'e  box." 

"  Does  that  song  relate  to  one  of  your 
own  experiences  ?  " 


PINK    MARSH 

"  No,  seh  —  me  ?  I  nevah  got  'rested 
—  faw  rollin'  craps  —  no,  seh." 

u  What  was  it  you  got  arrested  for  ? " 
"  Who  said  I  got  'rested  ?  " 
"  O,  you  never  were  arrested,  eh  ?  " 
Pink's  elastic   mouth   widened,  and  he 
laughed  so  that  he  had  to  stop  work. 

"  Look  heah,  man,  who  's  been  tellin' 
you  'bout  me  ?  " 

"  O,  you  have  been  arrested  ?  " 
"  I  got  'uh  once,  but  it  wuz  n'  no  craps, 
no,  seh." 

"  Chickens  ? " 

"W'y,  say,  look  heah,  misteh,  some 
body  been  paintin*  me  bad  to  you.  No, 
seh,  'ey  done  it  to  me  faw  what  'at  judge 
called  disohdehly." 

"  How  about  it?   Were  you  disorderly  ?  " 
u  Them  'at  could  'membeh  what  hap 
pened  give  in  bad  tes'imony.    I  had  to  dig 
up  ol'  six  dollahs  to  keep  out  of  'at  big 
black  wagon.     No,  seh,  I  do  n'  wan'  no 


PINK    MARSH 

"You  'd  been  drinking,  had  n't  you  ?  " 
"  Yes,  seh,  'at 's  what  made  me  dan- 
ge'ous  —  wuz  'at  oil  o'  distuhb'ance.  I 
don'  wan'  no  mo'  to  do  'ith  'em  coppehs 
an'  blue  wagons  an'  judges.  Cullud  man 
sutny  can't  beat  'at  game." 

u  That 's  right,"  said  the  morning  cus 
tomer.  c  Be  virtuous,  and  you  will  be 
happy.'" 

"  What  is  'at  'spression  ?  Say  it  oveh. 
Be  —  " 

"  '  Be  virtuous,  and  you  will  be  happy.' " 
"  O,  I  guess  some  one-ahm  man 
wrote  'at !  '  Be  vuhchus,  an'  you  will 
suahly  be  happy ! '  My  goodness !  I 
guess  'at 's  pooh  lang'age  !  I  sutny  will 
use  'at  on  'em  Deahbohn  Street  rascals. 
Yes,  seh,  I  '11  jus*  brush  you  a  few  an1 
you  sutny  will  be  all  right.  Any  time, 
Misteh,  you  goin'  'o  th'ow  'at  ovehcoat 
away,  jus'  th'ow  it  at  me.  No  clothin' 
stoah  eveh  see  'at  coat  'cept  when  you 
walk  past.  Ten  —  yes,  seh — 'at 's  'e 
16 


MISTEH  CLIFFO  D" 


PINK    MARSH 

propeh  'mount.  Good  day,  seh.  Misteh, 
have  I  got  'at  ?  Be  vuhchus,  an'  you 
will  sutny  be  happy.  Yes,  seh  —  yo 's 
truly  —  good  day,  seh." 


On    the    Proper  Observance    of 
Christmas 

The  holiday  season  was  at  hand  the 
next  time  the  morning  customer  went  to 
the  shop.  As  he  climbed  into  the  chair 
he  saw  on  the  wall,  within  easy  reach,  a 
pasteboard  box  capped  with  a  sprig  of 
green.  In  the  side  of  the  box  was  a  slit 
large  enough  to  receive  a  silver  dollar. 
Below  it  were  the  words:  "  Merry  Xmas. 
Remeber  the  porter." 

"  What  does  that  mean  —  '  Merry 
Xmas '  ?  "  asked  the  customer. 

Pink  shook  his  head  slowly.  u  You 
know  mighty  well  what  'at  means,  misteh. 
If  I  on'y  had  yo'  ej'cation  I  would  n'  be 
whippin'  flannel  oveh  no  man's  shoes." 

"  I  do  n't  see  what  education  has  to  do 
18 


MY  GOODNESS!11 


PINK    MARSH 

with  it.  What  is  it,  anyway  —  that 
'  Merry  Xmas  '  ?  " 

u  Misteh  ClifFo'd,  on  'e  secon'  chaih, 
made  it  faw  me.  He  says  'at 's  '  Me'y 
Ch'is'mas.' " 

u  That 's  a  funny  way  to  spell  Christ 
mas.  What  does  the  rest  of  it  mean 
there  —  about  remembering  the  porter  ?  " 

"  My  goodness,  misteh,  you  ain'  goin' 
'o  fo'ce  me  to  come  right  out  an'  ask  faw 
it,  ah  you  ?  " 

"  Ask  for  what  ?  " 

Pink  emitted  a  series  of  heaving 
sounds  to  indicate  that  he  was  amused. 

u  Mr.  Clifford  did  a  very  fine  job  there," 
observed  the  customer. 

"  Who,  Misteh  ClifFo'd  ?  He  can  do 
mos'  anything.  He's  got  watch-chain 
made  out  o'  real  haih,  he  made  himself." 

"  He  must  be  a  versatile  genius." 

tl  I  guess  he  —  say,  misteh,  'at  wuz  a 
wahm  piece  o'  talk.  What  was  'at  you 
say  — he— " 

19 


PINK    MARSH 

"  I  say  he  must  be  a  versatile  genius.'* 
"  A  vussitle  gemyus  —  genimus." 
"  Genius  —  versatile  genius." 
u  Vussitle   gen'us  —  'at 's   lolly-cooleh. 
If  I  on'y  had  a  few  like  'at  I  'd  keep  'em 
ketchin'  theah   breaths,  suah.     What 's  'e 
def'mition?  " 

"  That  means  a  man  of  varied  accom 
plishments." 

Pink  worked  a  few  minutes  and  allowed 
the  definition  to  percolate.  Then  he  ob 
served  with  a  sigh  :  "  I  could  n'  ketch 
'em  boys  ;  not  'ith  a  laddeh.  Too  high." 
The  barber  at  chair  No.  I  shouted 
"  Brush  ! "  and  Pink  shuffled  away  to  at 
tend  to  a  thin  man  with  a  powdered  com 
plexion  and  gummy  hair. 

First  he  brushed  the  thin  man,  front 
and  back,  becoming  more  earnest  in  his 
efforts  just  as  the  man  received  a  handful 
of  small  change.  Pink  held  the  overcoat, 
and  after  the  thin  man  had  worked  into  it, 
he  reached  under  for  the  inside  coat  and 

20 


PINK    MARSH 

pulled  it  down  so  violently  that  the  thin 
man  was  bowed  backward.  While  Pink 
was  brushing  the  overcoat  the  thin  man 
walked  over  and  took  his  hat  from  the 
hook. 

But  he  was  not  to  escape  so  easily. 
Pink  gently  pulled  the  hat  away  from  him 
and  went  in  search  of  the  small  brush. 
He  stood  in  front  of  the  thin  customer, 
and,  holding  the  hat  gingerly  in  the  left 
hand,  brushed  it  carefully,  at  the  same 
time  blowing  off  imaginary  specks  of  dust. 

While  the  thin  man  was  waiting  for  his 
hat  he  casually  put  his  right  hand  into  the 
trousers  pocket.  Pink  stopped  brushing 
and  scratched  at  an  invisible  spot  or  stain 
of  some  sort  on  the  sleeve  of  the  overcoat. 

"  Shine  ?  "  he  inquired  softly. 

«  Nope." 

He  continued  to  brush  the  hat. 

The  thin  man  withdrew  his  hand  from 
the  pocket.  Pink  turned  the  hat  around 
right  side  forward  and  presented  it  to  the 
21 


PINK    MARSH 

customer  with  a  bow.  The  customer's 
right  hand  moved  forward  a  few  inches, 
but  Pink's  broad  palm  met  it  more  than 
half-way.  The  nickel  passed. 

"  Thank  you,  seh,"  said  Pink  in  a 
reverential  whisper.  The  thin  man  started 
toward  the  door.  Pink  seized  the  long 
whisk-broom  and  pursued  him,  hitting  him 
between  the  shoulder-blades.  As  the  man 
passed  out  Pink  got  in  one  final  blow  on 
the  coat-tails. 

u  You  're  doing  well  to-day,"  observed 
the  morning  customer  when  Pink  had  re 
turned  to  his  place  in  the  corner. 

Pink  dropped  the  nickel  to  the  floor,  as 
if  by  accident.  Then  he  picked  it  up, 
turned  it  over  and  put  it  in  his  mouth. 

"Money  lay  in'  all  'roun'  heah  to-day," 
he  said,  rattling  the  coin  against  his  teeth. 

"You  can  buy  a  loaf  of  bread  with 
that,"  suggested  the  customer. 

"  You  betteh  make  anothah  guess  on 
what  I  'm  goin'  'o  do  'ith  any  nicks  I  get 

22 


PINK    MARSH 

hold  of  'ese  days.  Bread  's  faw  pooh  peo 
ple.  I  'm  goin'  'o  eat  chidlin's,  roas'  pig, 
cawnpone,  che'y  pie,  mash'  tuhnips  an' 
— le'  me  see — " 

"  You  '11  be  lucky  to  get  snowballs," 
interrupted  the  barber  known  as  c  Misteh 
Adams,'  who  had  strolled  over  to  the 
corner  to  watch  the  boy  at  work. 

"  Don'  lose  no  sleep  'bout  me,"  re 
torted  Pink.  "  I  may  be  baihfoot  an* 
need  mo'  undeh-cloze,  but  I  sutny  will 
have  my  chidlin's  on  Ch'is'mas,  an'  any 
man  'at  thinks  diff'ent  wants  to  make  a 
new  guess,  suah.  If  'at  ol'  box  up  on  'e 
wall  uses  me  good  I  '11  be  a  wahm  baby 
'iss  Ch'is'mas — yes,  seh,  I  '11  eat  oystehs 
'ith  my  true  love." 

"  How  are  you  and  that  girl  gettin' 
along  now?"  asked  Mr.  Adams,  with  a 
palpable  wink  at  the  morning  customer. 

u  I  do  n'  know  nothin'  'bout  no  guhl," 
replied  Pink  with  a  sly  grin.  "  No,  seh, 
Misteh  Adams,  I  got  no  money  to  waste 

23 


PINK    MARSH 

on  no  piece  o'  calico.  I  'm  jus'  wantin* 
to  feed  myse'f  'iss  Ch'is'mas.  No  use 
talkin'!  You  know  what  'at  col'  wind 
say  when  it  comes  zoo-in  an'  whistlin' 
roun'  'e  cohneh.  It  say,  c  Boy,  wheah  's 
all  'at  money  you  spent  faw  ice-cream  an' 
neckties  las'  summeh  ?" 

"  Mistah  Adams  "  walked  away  and 
Pink  said,  in  a  low  tone:  "You  do  n'  ketch 
me  tellin'  any  white  bahbeh  'bout  'at 
lady." 

"  Have  n't  you  got  any  money  for 
Christmas  ?  "  asked  the  morning  customer. 

"  No,  seh,  I  got  to  get  someping  out  of 
'at  box." 

u  You  ought  to  be  able  to  save  a  little 
money." 

"  Down  theah  wheah  I  live,  misteh,  it 
ain*  safe  f '  man  to  have  no  money.  If 
'em  tough  cullud  boys  think  you'  savin' 
yo'  coin  'ey  jus'  stop  you  at  night  an' 
count  it  faw  you.  Yes,  seh,  an'  when 
'ey  get  th'ough  countin'  it,  'em  boys  han' 
24 


LO'ENA' 


PINK    MARSH 

back  to  you  what  'ey  do  n'  need.  If  any 
body  goin'  'o  spen'  my  money  I  want  to 
spend  it  myse'f." 

"  Why  do  n't  you  put  it  in  the  bank  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  I  'm  goin'  'o  put  some  in  'e 
bank  next  yeah." 

"  Well,  you  want  to  bear  well  in  mind 
that  procrastination  is  the  thief  of  time." 

"  Le'  go,  man  !  '  At 's  sutny  'e  hottes' 
thing  you  handed  me  yet.  Pocazzumala- 
shum  —  prasticanashum  —  chenashalum — 
no,  seh,  thea  h's  one  too  good  faw  me.  No, 
seh,  don'  try  to  gi'  me  'at  one.  It  keep  me 
busy  jus*  foldin'  kinks  out  of  'at  boy. 

u  Why,  that 's  very  simple — procrasti 
nation.  It  means  the  habit  of  postponing 
action,  putting  off  until  to-morrow,  as  it 
were." 

"  'At 's  all  right  what  'at  means,  misteh. 
I  ain'  strong  enough  to  swing  'at  kind — 
pocrastumalation — timination — " 

"  Procrastination." 

"  No,  seh,  do  n'  try  it,  I  can't  use  'at 
25 


PINK    MARSH 

boy.  'Ey  would  n'  stan'  faw  nothin' 
like  'at  on  Deahbohn  Street.  You  keep 
'at  one  an'  use  it  yo'se'f — proclast-pocras- 
um-unn-unn — misteh,  you  sutny  have 
wuhds  up  yo'  sleeve  'at  is  strangehs  to 
me." 

"  Procrastination  is  a  good  word,"  said 
the  morning  customer  as  he  slipped  a 
quarter  into  the  Christmas-box  and  de 
scended  from  the  high-chair. 

"  Thank  you,  seh,"  repeated  Pink,  three 
times. 

"  'Ey  's  sutny  ve'y  few  men  can  use 
'em  wuhds  as  you  do,"  said  he,  as  he  was 
brushing  the  morning  customer.  u  'Pras- 
tigumation  is  what  steals  away  yo'  time' — 
no,  seh,  do  n'  tell  me  no  mo';  it 's  too 
high.  Good  mawnin'.  Yes,  seh.  Same  to 
you,  misteh.  Me'y  Ch'is'mas." 


On  Winning    the  Affections  of 
a  Woman 

The  morning  customer  learned  by  ex 
perience  that  Pink  thrived  on  a  diet  of 
long  words.  He  could  not  determine 
whether  Pink's  admiration  for  these  words 
was  real  or  feigned,  and  it  mattered  little 
so  long  as  the  boy  pretended  to  be  in 
ecstasy. 

One  day,  toward  the  close  of  the  holi 
day  season,  the  morning  customer  learned 
something  of  Pink's  love  affairs.  This 
was  really  the  beginning  of  his  term  as 
guide,  counselor,  and  friend. 

"  Good  morning,  Pink,"  he  said,  as  he 
came  in.  "  I  trust  you  have  had  your 
matutinal  this  morning." 

"  My  goodness,  misteh !  I  might  have 
27 


PINK    MARSH 

my  pockets  full  of  'at  stuff  an*  not  know 
it.  I  ain't  had  nothin'  'iss  mawnin'  'cept 
breakfas'." 

"  Got  a  morning  paper  ?  " 

"  I  got  paht  o'  one  heah,  misteh,"  and 
Pink  reached  under  the  chair  for  it. 

u  Part  of  one,  eh  ?  I  suppose  it 's  the 
page  of  small  ads.  You  're  the  only  man 
I  ever  knew  who  bought  a  newspaper  on 
the  installment  plan.  Why  do  n't  you 
save  up  some  morning  and  buy  a  whole 
paper  —  have  a  little  enterprise  about  you  ? 
You  want  to  get  a  new  cushion  in  this 
chair  too.  Do  n't  you  know  you  have  to 
treat  customers  well  in  order  to  hold  trade 
these  days  ?" 

Pink  restrained  his  mirth  and  sighed 
with  enjoyment. 

"  Misteh,  you  sutny  good." 

While  he  was  working  with  the  rough 
brush  to  remove  the  dry  and  encrusted 
mud,  he  sung  softly  : 


28 


A   HOT  MEMBEH11 


PINK    MARSH 

"  I  do  n'  love  a-nobody, 
An*  nobody  loves  me. 
Yo'  afteh  my  money  — 
Do  n'  caih  faw  me. 
I  'm  goin'o  stay  single, 
Always-a  be  free; 
I  do  n'  love  a-nobody, 
An*  nobody  loves  me." 

The  morning  customer  folded  the  paper 
in  his  lap  and  listened  to  the  song. 

u  Is  that  your  private  confession  ?  "  he 
asked. 

"  How  's  'at,  misteh  ? " 

"  You  do  n't  love  anybody,  eh  ?  " 

"  Co'se,  misteh,  I  'uz  jus*  singin'  what 
it  says  in  'at  song." 

"  O,  I  see.  So  you  do  love  somebody, 
after  all  ?  I  believe  I  Ve  heard  something 
about  that  girl  out  there." 

"  Out  wheah,  misteh  —  out  wheah  ? 
You  neveh  saw  'at  guhl  in  all  yo'  life, 
misteh.  What  you  want  to  say  'at  faw  ?" 


29 


PINK    MARSH 

"  I  did  n't  say  I  ever  saw  her.  I  said 
I  'd  heard  about  her." 

Pink  laughed  to  himself  until  his  friz 
zled  head  bobbed  up  and  down  above  the 
shoe.  Then  he  looked  up  at  the  morn 
ing  customer,  his  eyes  big  with  doubt,  and 
said,  "  Yo'  stringin'  me,  misteh." 

"  Certainly  not.  I  was  talkin'  to  some 
colored  boy  the  other  day  —  I  forget  his 
name.  I  says  to  him  :  c  Do  you  know 
William  Pinckney  Marsh  ? '  and  he  says : 
'  Do  you  mean  Pink  Marsh,  the  fellow 
that  likes  chicken  so  well  ? '  " 

u  Who  said  'at,  misteh  ?  Who  was  'at 
cullud  rascal  'at  tried  to  make  me  out 
chicken-lifteh  ?  " 

"  Do  n't  get  excited.  Keep  right  on 
with  your  work.  He  simply  said  that  you 
liked  chicken.  He  did  n't  say  that  you 
stole  chickens." 

"  I  know,  misteh,  but  what  is  'at  he 
means  by  sayin'  I  like  chicken?  Do  n't 
you  know  cullud  man  say  someping  like 
30 


PINK    MARSH 

'at  'bout  anotheh  an'  he  gen'ally  got  to 
lose  a  fight?  Yes,  seh,  you  say  '  chickens' 
to  cullud  man,  an'  'at  means  someping." 

"  Why,  you  do  like  chicken,  do  n't 
you  ?  " 

"  How  's  'at  ?  W'y — misteh,  even  if  I 
do,  do  n't  all  people  like  chicken  ?  " 

"  I  suppose  they  do,  but  this  friend  of 
yours  says  that  you  eat  more  chicken  than 
any  other  colored  fellow  on  the  South 
Side." 

"  Who  ?  Who  ?  He  say  'at,  misteh  ? 
Goodness  !  Wis't  you  could  'membeh  his 
name.  I  think  I  'd  hahm  'at  man  if  I  get 
him  placed.  What  else  he  tell  you  ?  " 

"  Well,  he  said  you  had  a  girl  and  that 
another  fellow  was  trying  to  cut  you  out." 

«  Who — Gawge  Lippincott  ?  " 

"  Yes,  that 's  the  name,  George  Lippin 
cott.  This  fellow  seemed  to  think  that 
George  had  a  shade  the  best  of  it." 

"  Do  n't  you  neveh  believe  it,  misteh, 
not  faw  minute — no,  seh.  It  ain't  wrote 


PINK    MARSH 

in  no  book  'at  Gawge  Lippincott  can  do 
me  at  no  game — no,  seh." 

"  Who 's  the  girl  ?  " 

u  Young  lady  name  Miss  Lo'ena  Jack 
son." 

"  Lorena,  eh?     That  's  a  fancy  name?  " 

u  Yes,  seh,  an'  little  ol'  Miss  Lo'ena's 
hot  membeh.  She  's  so  wahm  you  can 
feel  'e  heat  on  otheh  side  of  'e  street  when 
she  goes  past.  My  goodness  !  I  s'pose 
she  's  bad  to  look  at.  She  had  me  settin' 
up  nights  faw  'while." 

"  Dark  ?  " 

"  No,  seh,  not  as  dahk  as  me,  but  she 
ain'  no  blonde,  neetheh.  I  s'pose  'at  guhl 
ain'  got  no  cloze.  My  goodness  !  Get 
on  'at  puhl-cullud  cloak  'ith  all  'em  but 
tons  an'  staht  'long  Deahbohn  Street — face 
at  ev'y  window,  suah." 

"  Does  she  reciprocate  your  affection  ?" 

"  Do  n'  make  me  jump  faw  'em,  mistah. 
What  is  'at— 'cip'ocate  ?  " 

"  Does  she  love  you  ?  " 
32 


\A  fcMnv® 


"JENNIE  TAYLAH" 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Misteh,  I  'm  real  thing  jus'  now,  but 
I  can't  p'omise  no  finish.  I  'm  playin' 
hahd,  but  if  'at  lady  eveh  calls  me — ""and 
Pink  once  more  shook  with  laughter. 

"  I  do  n't  understand  you." 

"  I  tell  you,  misteh.  When  I  staht  in 
to  win  'at  lady  Gawge  Lippincott  'uz 
ve'y  strong  theah.  She  could  n'  see 
me.  Gawge  got  me  beat  on  ej'cation. 
We  be  oveh  Mis'  Willahd's  house— ol' 
Gawge  on  sofy — '  Miss  Lo'ena,  I  'm 
afraid  'e  weatheh  goin'  'o  be  mo'  'centri 
cal  on  'count  of  'at  atmosphe'cal  man 
agement,'  someping  like  'at.  She  come 
back  jus'  as  wahm  as  he  wuz.  Me, 
misteh?  Jus'  settin*  theah  an'  bein' 
counted  out.  I  wuz  n't  in  'at  cullud  so 
ciety  no  mo  'n  if  I  'd  been  white.  When 
it  come  to  tossin'  lang'age  ol'  Gawge 
sutny  had  me  skinned.  Jus'  same,  I 
figgah  out  what  I  got  to  do  to  get  nex'  to 
'at  lady.  I  know  Miss  Lo'ena  wants 
wheel — 'cuz  Jennie  Tayloh's  got  one  in 
33 


PINK    MARSH 

'e  same  house,  an'  kin'  o'  been  th'owin' 
it  into  Lo'ena  'bout  not  bein'  in  line. 
One  night  I  'uz  talkin'  to  Lo'ena  an'  I 
say,  '  What  kin'  of  a  wheel  is  'at  Jennie 
Tayloh's  got  ? '  an'  she  say,  '  I  think, 
Misteh  Mahsh,  it 's  one  'at  huh  motheh 
bought  at  secon'-han'  stoah.'  Knockin,' 
un'estand  ?  I  say,  l  Miss  Lo'ena,  what 
kin'  o'  wheel  you  like  bes','  an'  she  say 
she  like  'at  Genemvieve  wheel.  I  pull 
out  my  little  book  an'  write  someping  in 
it.  I  ask  huh  what  size,  an'  she  say, 
c  Twent'-six,'  an'  I  say  '  Twent'-six,'  an' 
into  'e  book,  un'estan',  misteh?  c  Black 
saddle  o'  tan  saddle? '  an'  she  say  '  Tan.' 
Down  it  goes  into  'at  book.  You  jus* 
ought  to  see  'em  eyes.  c  Misteh  Mahsh, 
what  you  puttin'  into  'at  book? '  l  Neveh 
you  min'.  You  find  out  some  day.'  My 
goodness,  misteh!  I  own  'at  lady  Pom 
'at  minute.  She  know  mighty  well  why  I 
put  all  'at  in  'e  book.  Nex'  day  she  goes 
an'  tells  Jennie  Tayloh,  '  Misteh  Mahsh 
34 


PINK    MARSH 

goin'  'o  buy  me   Genemvieve   wheel.'     I 
s'pose  she  's  usin'  me  bad  now." 

"  Well,  are  you  going  to  get  the  wheel? " 
"  W'y,  misteh,  you  ought  to  know  me 
betteh  'n  'at.  Way  things  is  comin'  now 
I  could  n'  buy  'at  chain  'at  goes  on  'e 
back  wheel.  I  could  n'  buy  'nough  keh'- 
sene  to  fill  'at  little  lamp  'at  hangs  on  in 
front.  Lo'ena  knows  I  'm  goin'  'o  buy 
huh  wheel  jus'  'e  same.  Walkin'  'long 
otheh  evenin'  an'  I  say,  c  Miss  Lo'ena, 
when  's  yo'  buhthday,'  and  she  tell  me, 
'Tenth  o'  Mahch,  but  what  you  want 
know  'at  faw? '  an'  I  say,  '  O,  'at  's  all 
right,  neveh  mind! '  Look  heah,  man,when 
it  come  tenth  o'  Mahch  and  no  wagon 
backs  up  theah  'ith  a  wheel  in  it — you 
know!  I  '11  be  cold  wheat-cake,  an'  no 
mistake!  She  '11  have  Gawge  Lippincott 
back  on  huh  staff,  suah  'nough." 

"  Well,  do  you  think  it 's  right  to  trifle 
with  a  young  lady's  affections  in  that 
manner? " 

35 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Do  n't  you  botheh  'bout  'at  lady, 
misteh.  She  ain'  nobody's  fool.  She 
eveh  get  a  wheel  out  o'  me  she  'd  th'ow  me 
in  'e  aih  an'  staht  out  to  fin'  some  suckeh 
to  buy  one  of  'em  bloomeh  suits  faw  huh. 
Yes,  seh,  she's  full  of  'at  ol'  con.  She 
think  she  got  me  right  now.  I  toP  huh 
'e  otheh  evenin',  c  Lo'ena,  I  'd  like  to  go 
an'  have  some  oystehs  'iss  ev'nin',  but  'e 
fact  is  I  'm  savin'  ev'y  cent  o'  money  I 
can  get  hold  of.'  Well,  co'se  she  knows 
what  I  'm  savin'  faw — got  to  have  'at 
wheel  by  Mahch,  no  use  talkin'.  O,  I 
do  n't  know  !  I  s'pose  I  'm  foolish  !  I 
neveh  seen  cullud  lady  till  I  met  Miss 
Lo'ena." 

ct  What  do  you  think  will  happen  when 
this  girl  finds  out  for  certain  that  you  're 
not  going  to  give  her  a  bicycle  ? " 

"  Neveh  you  mind.  I  '11  fix  'at  all  right. 
I  '11  get  mad  at  huh  an'  give  'at  wheel  to 
somebody  else.  I'll  give  it  to  cullud  lady 
on  'e  Nawth  Side." 

36 


PINK    MARSH 

"  O,  I  see.  Well,  Pink,  I  did  n't 
think  you'd  be  guilty  of  such  malfeas 
ance." 

"She'd  do  me  jus'  as  much  'feasance 
if  she  got  chance.  She  's  out  afteh  'at 
new  wheel,  an'  'at 's  why  I  'm  ol'  papa  in 
'e  pahloh  now.  Befo'  I  sprung  'at  wheel 
game,  Gawge  Lippincott  had  me  done 
easy — had  me  faded.  I  kind  o'  like  'at 
lady,  but  she  can't  neveh  get  me  foolish 
enough  to  let  go  o'  no  coin  ;  no,  seh." 

"  How  much  does  a  wheel  cost  ?  " 

"  Goodness,  misteh,  keep  still !  What 's 
'e  use  ?  I  s'pose  'at  wheel  I  'm  goin'  'o 
buy  faw  Lo'ena  cost  eighty  dollahs.  Hush, 
man  !  If  I  on'y  had  'at  much  I  would  n' 
be  foolin'  'ith  Miss  Lo'ena  Jackson.  I  'd 
be  wahm  boy  'ith  'em  swell  cullud  people 
down  towahds  Thuhtieth  Street — yes,  seh, 
you  could  n'  lose  me." 

cc  Well,  that 's  all  right.  If  you  rub 
those  shoes  much  longer  you  '11  wear  them 
out.  Here  is  your  piece  of  silver.  I  have 
37 


PINK    MARSH 

enjoyed  very  much  the  story  of  your 
amour." 

"  Deahbohn — not  Ahmoh,"  said   Pink. 

The  morning  customer  laughed  aloud, 
and  Pink  laughed  sympathetically,  without 
knowing  why  he  did  so.  He  brushed  the 
morning  customer  out  to  the  stairway. 


On  War  With  England 

The  morning  customer  was  permitted 
to  see  the  photograph  of  Miss  Lorena 
Jackson.  He  looked  at  it  with  evident 
interest  and  said,  "  Stylish,  is  n't  she  ?  " 

"  Who  ?  'At  guhl  ?  High  -  steppeh. 
She  's  got  'em  cloze,  an'  she  knows  how 
to  weah  'em." 

He  put  the  photograph  back  into  a  hid 
den  coat  pocket  and  laughed  secretively. 

The  morning  customer  waited  a  few 
minutes  and  then  asked.  "  How  is  every 
thing  around  the  place  —  quiet?" 

u  Yes,  seh,  it 's  ve'y  quiet  'iss  mawnin'. 
Betteh  le'  me  put  in  new  paih  o'  laces 
faw  you,  misteh.  On'y  ten  cents,  seh." 

u  Well,  you  go  ahead  and  shine  those 
shoes  and  we  '11  talk  about  the  laces  later 


39 


PINK    MARSH 

u  Yes,  seh,  sutny,  on'y  these  heah  laces 
is  fah  gone." 

"  Pink,  are  you  criticising  my  personal 
appearance  ?  " 

"No,  seh,  I  do  n'  mean  no  c'iticizin', 
on'y  if  you  wan'  paih  o'  laces  I  know 
wheah  you  can  get  'em." 

"  Never  mind  the  laces  now.  I  do  n't 
come  here  to  discuss  sordid  commercial 
transactions.  Let  us  lift  our  conversation 
into  the  higher  realms.  Let's  talk  about 
art,  or  something  like  that." 

"  My  goodness,  misteh,  when  it  comes 
to  me  holdin'  up  my  end  o'  talk  'ith  you 
I  'm  no  betteh  'n  one-legged  man  at  a 
cake-walk,"  and  he  gurgled. 

"  How  are  you  and  Mr.  Clifford  getting 
along  ?  " 

"  Did  n'  you  heah  'bout  it  ?  Did  n' 
you  heah  what  happen'  heah  yes'day  ? 
Misteh  ClifFo'd  done  it  all,  too.  He  'uz 
'e  gen'al  an'  'e  whole  ahmy  —  yes,  seh." 

"  What  was  it  ?  " 

40 


'AT  GEMMAN" 


PINK    MARSH 

ct  We  had  wah  'ith  Englan'  heah  yes'day 
—  O,  bad,  too.  Ouah  side  win,  though. 
Gen'al  Cliffo'd  made  wahm  fight." 

"How  did  it  start?" 

"I  don'  know.  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  'uz 
settin'  oveh  theah  by  'e  table,  an'  To  I 
know  'bout  it  he  had  ahmy  o'  fo'  million 
soljahs  an'  'uz  mahchin'  right  oveh  to  do 
Englan'." 

"  How  did  he  get  them  across  the 
ocean?  " 

"  I  do  n'  know,  seh.  I  s'pose  he  made 
'em  swim.  He  had  'em  all  oveh  theah 
chasin'  'at  English  ahmy  'fo'  I  un'e'stood 
what  it  'uz  all  'bout.  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  'uz 
full  o'  trouble.  He  put  up  betteh  fight  'n 
Gen'al  Grant  eveh  did.  Co'se  Misteh 
Adams,  on  'e  thuhd  chaih,  he'ped  some. 
Misteh  Adams  'uz  gen'al  of  all  'e  ships. 
I  guess  it  did  n'  take  him  mo'  'n  ten  min 
utes  to  sink  all  of  'em  otheh  ships.  Good 
ness,  mistah,  I  neveh  see  such  wah  in  a 
bahbeh-shop  befo'  in  all  my  life." 


PINK    MARSH 

"  What  had  England  been  doing  ?  " 

"  How  's  'at  ?  Man,  what  could  oP  Eng- 
lan'  do  'ith  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  an'  'ese  fo' 
million  soljahs  up  an'  a'  comin'?" 

"  I  know,  but  why  did  Mr.  Clifford 
make  war  on  England  ?  " 

"  It  'uz  someping  'bout  Venzalum  — 
Venazulum." 

"  O,  Venezuela!  Why,  that 's  all  set 
tled.  Great  Britain  has  agreed  to  our 
terms,  and  the  whole  difficulty  is  to  be  sub 
mitted  to  arbitration." 

"  Yes,  seh,  I  un'e'stand.  Misteh  Adams 
'uz  speakin'  to  gemman  in  his  chaih  'bout 
'iss  'batation  'at  Misteh  Cliffo'd  read  'bout 
in  'e  mawnin'  papeh.  Misteh  Adams  tell 
'iss  gemman  'at  'e  reason  Englan'  lay  down 
is  'at  Uni'd  States  could  do  'uh  up  if  it 
eveh  come  to  case  o'  scrap.  'En  'iss  gem 
man  in  Misteh  Adams's  chaih  he  says  'at 
Englan'  got  mo'  ships  'an  us  an'  mo'  sol 
jahs,  'an'  might  do  'iss  country  if  it  come 
to  show-down.  'En  Misteh  Cliffo'd  gets 
42 


PINK    MARSH 

out  his  fo'  million  soljahs  an'  begins. 
Goodness,  misteh!  We  jus'  had  wah  faw 
'n  houah.  One  minute,  you  know,  Mis 
teh  Cliffo'd  oveh  theah  by  'e  table  he  'd  be 
killin'  'bout  hund'ehd  thousan'  men  and  'en 
Misteh  Adams  at  'e  thuhd  chaih  he  put 
some  of  'ese  'pedoes — " 

"  Torpedoes." 

"Yes,  seh,  t'pedoes  —  he  'd  put  some 
o'  'em  undeh  Englan'  ship  an'  blow  'uh  all 
to  pieces.  Misteh  Cliffo'd,  he  say:  '  W'y, 
do  n'  talk  to  me'  bout  Englan'.  We  done 
huh  fo'  times  an*  we  can  do  it  agen.  I 
neveh  see  a  man  so  wahm  faw  trouble.  All 
'iss  time  Misteh  Adams  blowin'  up  ships." 

"  England  had  no  chance  at  all  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  no  mo'  chance  'an  a  sheep 
'ith  a  butcheh.  You  know  Gen'al  Clif 
fo'd  had  eight  million  men  'fo'  he  got 
th'ough.  Yes,  seh,  I  think  he  got  two 
hund'ehd  thousan'  heah  in  'iss  town.  I  tell 
you,  we  could  n'  lose  'e  way  Gen'al  Clif 
fo'd  had  it  fixed  yes'day.  'Fo'  he  got 
43 


PINK    MARSH 

th'ough  he  had  all  'at  Englan'  belongin'  to 
'iss  country.  You  know  'at  big  town  in 
Englan'?  " 

"  London? " 

uYes,  seh,  'at  's  it.  How  long  you 
s'pose  it  took  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  an'  his  ahmy 
to  mahch  right  in  an'  capchah  'at  town?" 

"  I  have  n't  the  slightest  idea." 

"  Two  days,  seh.  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  an' 
his  ahmy  got  oveh  theah  one  day  an'  'ey 
wuzn*  feelin'  ve'y  well,  so  'ey  kind  o'  hang 
'round  'e  fuhst  day  loadin'  up  'em  guns  an' 
washin'  'e  buggies  an'  'en  nex'  mawnin' 
'ey  go  on  oveh  to  London.  I  think  'ey 
got  theah  'bout  ten  o'clock  in  'e  mawnin'. 
'Iss  heah  gen'al  at  London  he  come  out 
an'  size  up  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  an'  'ese  fo'  mil 
lion  white  bahbehs,  an'  tries  to  put  up  fight, 
but,  my  goodness,  man,  'at  gen'al  ought  to 
see  his  finish  'e  minute  he  go  'genst  Gen'al 
Cliffo'd.  It  could  n'  come  out  on'y  one 
way.  A  little  while  an'  'em  Englishmen 
gettin'  out  of  'e  way  jus'  like  cullud  boys 
44 


'AT  NEW  BAHBEH" 


PINK    MARSH 

goin'  out  o'  Johnson's  back  dooh  afteh 
razah  play  —  same  thing.  Gen'al  Cliffo'd 
got  on  white  hoss,  misteh,  and  rode  into  'at 
town  'ith  band  playin'  'at  c  Wash'nin  Pos' 
Mahch.'  Yes,  seh,  'at  secon'  day  he  sutny 
showed  up  ve'y  strong.  He  made  Gen'al 
Grant  look  like  lame  man." 

"  In  the  meanwhile,  I  suppose  Mr. 
Adams  was  destroying  the  English  navy 
—  the  English  ships." 

"  O,  easy,  easy,  easy!  'Iss  same 
aftehnoon  'at  Misteh  Cliffo'd  —  I  mean 
Gen'al  Cliffo'd  —  'uz  ridin'  'e  white  hoss 
an'  smokin'  fifteen-cent  cigah,  Misteh 
Adams  done  up  'e  las'  English  ship  —  yes, 
seh,  he  done  up  ev'ything.  'Iss  gemman 
in  Misteh  Adams's  chaih  he  wants  to 
know  what  Misteh  Adams  goin'  'o  do  when 
'em  English  ships  come  up  close  to 'at  New 
Yawk  City  an'  staht  tossin'  wahm  cannon 
balls  oveh  on  'e  houses." 

"  I  suppose  Mr.  Adams  had  that  all 
provided  for." 

45 


PINK    MARSH 

"  You  know  it !  Yes,  seh,  'at  wuz  an 
easy  one.  Misteh  Adams  got  kind  o'  i'on 
raft  'at  jus'  stuck  up  oveh  'e  wateh  'bout 
foot,  an'  he  took  'iss  out  to  'at  place 
wheah  all  'em  otheh  ships  had  to  come 
past,  an'  'en  ev'y  time  ship  come  'long  he'd 
th'ow  oF  dym'nite  bum  oveh  an'  blow  it 
up.  I  guess  he  blowed  up  'bout  ten  ships 
in  one  day.  No  use  tryin',  misteh,  you 
can't  lose  'at  Misteh  Adams  at  no  game 
eveh  played.  If  Englan'  eveh  fin's  out 
what  Misteh  Adams  got  up  his  sleeve,  she 
won't  eveh  have  no  trouble  'ith  us,  no, 
seh." 

"  Well,  I  am  glad  to  learn  that  we  can 
whip  England." 

"  W'y,  misteh,  I  tell  you  we  done  it 
already  —  right  heah  in  'iss  shop  yes'day." 

"  What  part  did  you  take  in  the  fratri 
cidal  strife  ?  " 

"  Change  it,  misteh  !     Come  down!" 

"  Were  you  in  the  fight  ?  " 

"  No,  seh,  I  set  back  heah  by  'e  stove 
46 


PINK    MARSH 

dodgin'  bullets.  I  neveh  see  such  wah. 
To'  it  'uz  oveh  I  kind  o'  felt  soh'y  faw 
'em  English  people.  Did  n'  have  thing 
left  when  Gen'al  Cliffo'd  got  th'ough.  Me 
an'  'at  new  bahbeh  is  'e  on'y  ones  'at 
wuz  n'  in  'e  wah." 

"That's  so.  You  have  a  new  barber, 
have  n't  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  I  'm  kind  o'  'fraid  o'  him, 
too.  You  see  'at  white  tie  he  weahs. 
Look  out  faw  'em,  misteh.  'Ey'seitheh 
ve'y  good  o'  ve'y  bad  'at  weahs  'em  white 
ties.  We  had  bahbeh  heah  'at  wo'  tie 
like  'at  one,  an'  one  night  'e  got  all  'e 
razahs  in  his  pockets  an'  moved.  Yes, 
seh,  he  changed  his  scenery.  He  'uz  a 
quiet  boy,  too,  'ith  one  of  'em  Zion 
Meth'dis'  neckties." 

"  Are  you  through  ?  Well,  I  tell  you 
what  I  want,  if  you  have  any,  and  that 's 
a  pair  of  new  shoe-laces." 

"  My  goodness,  misteh  !  " 


47 


n  the  Efficacy  of  Dreams 

The  next  time  the  morning  customer 
came  in  he  found  Pink  locked  in  an  ear 
nest  debate  with  Mr.  Clifford.  The  bar 
ber  was  "  honing "  a  razor  and  debating 
with  careless  ease,  as  one  who  knew  and 
scorned  the  full  resources  of  his  opponent. 
Pink  had  an  ominous  forefinger  in  the  air 
and  was  contending  for  something  or  other 
in  relation  to  civil  rights. 

"  No,  seh  !  no,  seh,  I  do  n'  mean  'at, 
Misteh  Cliffb'd,"  he  said.  "  I  do  n'  mean 
to  'sinuate  'at  a  cullud  man  ought  to  do 
anything  'at  a  white  pusson  does,  but  what 
ahgament  I  make,  Misteh  Cliffo'd,  is  'at 
he  's  got  right  to  do  it  undeh  ouah  law. 
Did  n'  Misteh  Ab'ham  Lincoln  settle  all 
'at  business  ?  I  guess  he  sutny  did. 
48 


CIVIL  RIGHTS 


PINK    MARSH 

Ab'ham    said    a    few    things    'at   set   'em 
guessin'." 

"  Why,  the  only  mistake  we  ever  made 
was  in  settin'  you  folks  free,"  said  Mr. 
Clifford,  with  a  wink  at  the  barber  at  the 
next  chair. 

Pink  laughed  aloud,  and  then  said: 
"  O,  no,  seh,  Misteh  ClifFo'd,  you  do  n' 
mean  'at." 

"  Course  I  do.  You  ain't  no  good 
when  you  work  for  yourself.  There  's  a 
man  been  waitin'  in  your  chair  for  five 
minutes  while  you  was  talkin'  to  me." 

Pink  hurried  over  to  the  morning  cus 
tomer  with  many  expressions  of  apology. 

"  My  goodness,  misteh,  I  did  n'  see 
you.  I  'm  ve'y  soh'y,  seh.  If  'ey  's  one 
thing  I  prides  myself  'bout,  seh,  it  's  bein' 
right  heah,  seh,  on  deck  ready  faw  busi 
ness  at  all  houahs.  'At  's  'e  on'y  way  to  get 
yo'  good  customehs  an'  keep  'em  comin' 
to  you,  yes,  seh.  I  can't  get  too  many 
comin'  my  way,  suah  as  yo'  bawn." 
4Q 


PINK    MARSH 

"What  was  all  this  discussion  about?" 
u  'At 's  all  right,  misteh  ;  do  n't  you  feel 
bad  about  it  an'  I  won't.  Misteh  ClifFo'd 
got  it  settled  'ith  himse'f  'at  he  's  ve'y 
wahm  pusson.  No,  seh,  you  could  n' 
make  him  b'lieve  nothin'  else.  W'y, 
misteh,  he  sets  heah  ev'y  day  an'  tells  'ese 
otheh  wise  boys  'bout  what  'at  mayah 
oveh  in  'e  City  Hall  ought  to  do.  If  'at 
theah  mayah  'd  on'y  come  oveh  heah  ev'y 
mawnin'  an'  find  out  fom  Misteh  ClifFo'd 
how  things  stood,  he  sutny  could  n'  make 
no  mistakes.  'Spose  Misteh  ClifFo'd  picks 
up  papeh  wheah  it  tells  'bout  a  killin'. 
Well,  seh,  he  reads  it  oveh,  spellin'  out 
'em  long  ones  —  he  ain*  such  a  hot  readeh 
—  an'  when  he's  th'ough  he  tuhns  to 
Misteh  Adams  an'  he  say,  c  I  know  who 
done  'at  muhdeh.  It  wuz  'at  woman  'at 
find  'e  revolveh.'  He  knows  in  a  minute. 
You  can't  fool  'at  boy." 

u  I  think  he  ought  to  be  chief  of  police," 
said  the  morning  customer. 
50 


PINK    MARSH 

Pink  stopped  work  and  shook  with  sup 
pressed  laughter. 

u  Yo'  sutny  all  right,  misteh,"  said  he, 
"  You  know,  misteh,  I  can't  une'stan'  why 
all  'ese  wahm  boys  'at  knows  mo'  an'  any 
one  else  'at  eveh  come  oveh  'e  bridge  is 
all  down  heah  in  'is  oF  shop,  crawlin' 
heads  faw  two  bits,  when  'ey  ought  to  be 
up  in  one  of  'em  sky-scrapehs  —  you 
know,  misteh  —  big  desk,  an'  you  push 
one  of  'em  bells  an'  say:  '  Boy,  take  'bout 
thousan'  dollahs  out  of  'e  safe  an'  put  it 
in  my  ovehcoat  pocket ;  I  'm  goin'  out  to 
meet  a  few  frien's.'  'At 's  wheah  all  'ese 
boys  'd  be  if  'ey  wuz  half  as  wahm  as 
'ey  say  they  ah." 

"You  do  n't  seem  to  have  a  very  high 
opinion  of  your  tonsorial  associates." 

"  Listen  at  you  toss  'em  wuhds  !  "  said 
Pink,  glancing  up  in  rapture.  "  Otheh 
foot,  misteh.  O,  well,  seh,  'bout  white 
bahbehs  —  it  do  n'  pay  to  have  no  trouble 
'ith  'em.  Jus'  let  'em  think 'ey 's  'e  real 
5' 


PINK    MARSH 

thing,  an'  you  on'y  pooh  cullud  boy, 
tryin'  to  do  'e  best  he  can,  an'  yo'  all 
right.  Call  'em  misteh  so-and-so.  'At 's 
someping  'ey  do  n't  of 'en  get  an'  it  jollies 
'em.  Bu'  le'  me  tell  you  someping, 
misteh.  I  '11  be  eatin'  bread  'ith  gravy  on 
it  when  some  of  'ese  white  bahbehs  makin' 
mahks  in  'e  snow." 

"  By  the  way,  how  is  your  bank  account 
coming  on  ?  You  told  me,  did  n't  you, 
that  you  were  going  to  begin  to  save 
money  after  the  first  of  the  year  ?  " 

Pink  leaned  over  the  shoe  and 
brushed  with  great  energy,  but  said 
nothing.  The  customer  heard  sounds 
similar  to  those  made  by  a  loose  steam- 
valve,  and  upon  looking  down  he  saw  that 
Pink  was  smothering  with  laughter, 
which  he  was  trying  to  hold  in.  This 
kind  of  mirth  is  contagious.  The  morn 
ing  customer  began  to  laugh. 

"  Misteh,    yo'    sutny    all    right,"    said 
Pink,  without  looking  up. 
52 


PINK    MARSH 

"  How  much  have  you  saved  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  all  'ese  heah  banks  can  bust 
an'  'ey  wont  eveh  touch  me." 

"  I  thought  you  were  saving  up." 

u  Yes,  seh  ;   'at  s  right." 

u  You've  been  saving  up,  but  you 
haven't  got  anything  yet  —  is  that  it?" 

"  Misteh,  if  I  got  it  all  togetheh  I  'd 
jus'  'bout  have  pohk  chops  an'  no  mo'." 

u  What  have  you  been  doing  with  your 
money?" 

"  In  'e  fus'  place,  misteh,  I  don'  take 
in  as  much  as  Misteh  Mahshall  Field  o' 
Misteh  P.  D.  Ahmoh." 

"  I  see.  You've  been  playing  policy 
again." 

"Jus1  once  in  while,  seh." 

"  Have  any  luck?  " 

"Yes,  seh;  I  come  'ithin  one  numbeh 
o'  gettin'  sisteen  dollahs.  One  ev'nin'  at 
Mis'  Willa'd's  house  we  had  aigs  faw 
suppeh,  fried  in  fat  an'  potatoes  sliced  in. 
I  eat  about  six  o'  seven  aigs,  an'  en'  all 
53 


PINK    MARSH 

night  dream  aigs.  I  go  pas'  stoahs  an'  I 
see  hund'ehds  o'  baskets  full  o'  aigs,  an'  I 
think  I  'm  eatin'  fried  aigs  all  'e  time  ?  so 
nex'  mawnin'  I  suhch  myself  an'  fin' 
twenty  cents  an'  put  it  on  'e  ol'  aigs 
row." 

"  Why  did  n't  you  play  it  on  the  indi 
gestion  row  ?  " 

"  In'geschun  ?  "  asked  Pink,  wonder- 
ingly. 

"  Go  on  with  your  story.  What  was 
the  egg  row  ?  " 

"Yes,  seh;  aig  row  'uz  fo'-fo'teen- 
fawty.  Fo'  come,  misteh,  an'  ol'  fawty, 
but  fo'teen  used  me  mean." 

"  How  much  did  you  win  ?  " 

"Do  n't  you  un'e' stand  'at  game,  misteh? 
You  got  to  ketch  all  three.  If  'at  ol' 
fo'teen  'd  used  me  right  —  say,  I  'd  be 
spohtin'  ovehcoat  'ith  fo'  rows  o'  buttons." 

"  But  fourteen  did  n't  come  out,  did  it?  " 

"  No,  seh.     'At   dream   'uz  all   right, 
on'y  fo'teen  would  n't  come  out." 
54 


PINK    MARSH 

"  I  do  n't  see  what  good  it  did  you  to 
have  two  numbers  come,  as  long  as  you 
did  n't  win." 

"  It  sutny  showed  'ey  wuz  someping  in 
'at  dream." 

"  All  right.  I  am  glad  you  can  see  it 
in  that  light.  Where  do  you  play  policy, 
anyway  ?  I  thought  all  those  places  were 
closed  up." 

"  Misteh,  I  neveh  see  time  yet  when  I 
could  n'  bet  my  b'lief,  no,  seh.  You  got 
to  weah  rubbehs  some  times  to  get  at  'e 
man  'ith  'e  sheet,  but  I  neveh  kep'  no 
money  I  wanted  to  lose,  not  yet,  seh." 

u  Well,  that  's  a  funny  thing.  I  've 
lived  in  this  town  for  ten  years,  and  I 
never  saw  a  policy-shop  yet.  I  do  n't 
know  what  one  of  them  would  look  like." 

"  Yo'  cullah  's  wrong,  misteh ;  yo' 
cullah  's  sutny  wrong.  White  pusson  can't 
find  'em  games,  no  matteh  how  long  he 
hunts,  but  cullud  boy  —  put  blin'fold 
on  him,  tuhn  him  loose  in  'at  alley,  an'  he 

55 


PINK    MARSH 

jus'  feel  his  way  to  some  place  wheah 
man's  puttin'  numbehs  on  'e  sheet.  Cullud 
boy  can  smell  row  o'  numbehs  faw  two 
blocks.  Yes,  seh  ;  'at 's  no  fab'cashun, 
neetheh." 

u  Fabrication  ?     That 's  a  good  word." 

"  'At 's    a    ve'y    sassy    wuhd,    misteh. 

Misteh  'Stein,  'e  cigah-man,  han'   me  'at 

one   yes'day.     'At   means   yo'  lyin',  do  n' 

it  ? " 

"  Yes,  a  fabrication  is  anomalous  to  a 
lie.  It  is  frequently  used  as  a  synonym, 
although  if  I  were  to  cogitate  with  exact 
itude  I  would  say  that  it  refers  rather  to  a 
fanciful  invention.  Of  course,  you  under 
stand,  Pink,  that  there  are  many  terms 
allied  in  paraphristic  connection  which 
are  essentially  —  ah  —  dissimilar  when  it 
comes  right  down  to  it.  Have  you  got 
change  for  a  quarter  ?  Thanks.  Well, 
I  must  meander  toward  my  destination. 
That 's  a  good  shine  you  gave  me.  I  hope 
you  will  not  become  egotistical  by  reason 
56 


MISTEH  'STEIN  " 


PINK    MARSH 

of  my    eulogiums.       By    George  !      It 's 
nearly  nine  o'clock." 

The  morning  customer  hurried  toward 
the  door,  leaving  Pink  open-mouthed  and 
staring  into  vacancy.  He  was  in  a  waking 
dream,  and  the  broom  swung  in  his  limp 
hand.  His  lips  moved,  but  no  sound 
came  forth. 


On    the    Powers    of   the     Chief 
Executive 

From  the  day  on  which  the  morning 
customer  defined  the  word  "  fabrication  " 
he  became  the  court  of  last  resort.  On 
the  occasion  of  his  first  succeeding  visit  he 
was  called  on  to  settle  a  dispute. 

"  Misteh,  I  want  you  to  tell  me  some- 
ping,  'cuz  I  know  you  can  tell  it  to  me 
right,"  began  Pink. 

u  I  do  n't  know  that  I  can.  You 
mustn't  ask  me  anything  hard." 

"  'At  's  all  right,  seh.  If  I  had  yo' 
ej'cation  I  would  n'  be  scaihed  o'  no  ques 
tion  in  'e  book.  If  I  on'y  had  as  many 
fac's  in  my  head  as  you  got  I  'd  win  mo'n 
one  bet  f'om  some  of  'em  wise  Af'o- 
Ameh'cansouttheahon  Deahbohn  Street." 
58 


PINK    MARSH 

"You  've  got  Afro- Americans  out  there, 
have  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh  ;  I  neveh  know  I  'uz  one  of 
'em  till  'bout  two  weeks  ago.  Ain't  safe 
to  call  cullud  man  coon  no  mo'  any  mo' 
'an  it  is  to  say  c  niggeh.'  My  goodness, 
misteh  !  Do  n'  like  to  be  called  dahkies 
neetheh.  It  use  to  be  Eth'op'ans,  but  now 
it 's  Af'o-Ameh'cans.  'At 's  a  ve'y  wahm 
name.  Since  'ey  begin  to  use  'at  name  I 
would  n'  change  mycullah  faw  no  money.'' 

"  What  is  the  dispute  you  were  asking 
about  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh.  I  tell  you.  It  'uza  'spute 
I  had  'tween  me  an'  Willis  Tuckeh  at 
Miss  Willa'd's  house  last  ev'nin'.  Willis 
begin  by  askin'  me  who  I  'd  ratheh  be, 
Misteh  Presiden'  McKinley  o'  Misteh 
Potteh  Palmeh.  I  say  I  ratheh  be  Mis 
teh  McKinley,  faw  even  if  I  did  n'  have 
as  much  money  I  could  give  p'sitions  to 
all  my  frien's  an'  get  good  livin'  faw  noth- 
in'.  Willis  want  to  know  how  I  figgah 
59 


PINK    MARSH 

it,  an'  I  say  'at  'e  Presiden  of  'iss  heah 
land  can  say  to  any  man  he  likes, '  Heah, 
you  go  to  Eu'ope  faw  me  an'  spend  all  'e 
money  you  need  an'  have  good  time.' 
'Notheh  thing,  too,  I  say,  Misteh  McKin- 
ley  he  get  anything  he  wants  f'om  'e 
gov'ment.  If  he  want  new  fuhnichah  in 
'e  house  wheah  he  lives  he  jus'  send  out  an' 
get  it  an'  have  'e  bill  sent  to  Cong'ess.  It 
don'  cost  him  a  cent.  He  sutny  have  a 
snap,  I  say.  Now,  misteh,  I  want  to 
know  am  I  right  what  I  say  'bout  'e  Pres 
iden'." 

"  Well,  what  did  Willis  say  ?  " 
"  Yes,  seh,  Willis  claim  to  me  Misteh 
McKinley  could  n'   buy    nothin'   'ceptin' 
Cong'ess  say  it  'uz  all  right.      I    tell  him, 
4  Man,  yo'    foolish ;    'at  Presiden'    comes 
puht  neah  bein'  'e  whole  thing  'bout   'iss 
gov'ment.'      You  le'  me  be  Presiden'  faw 
twenty   minutes  some  time  an'  I  would  n' 
neveh  shine  no, mo'  shoes  f  no  man." 
u  That 's  right.     I  suppose  you  'd  order 
60 


WILLIS  TUCKEH 


PINK    MARSH 

everything  in  sight,  and  have  it  charged  up 
to  Congress." 

"  Hush,  man  !  I  would  n'  do  thing! 
'At's  what  I  tell  Willis.  I  say  Misteh 
Presiden'  McKinley  can  buy  anything 
he  wants  an'  Cong'ess  got  to  pay  faw 
it.  Willis  say  Presiden'  got  to  ask 
Cong'ess  'bout  it  befo'-hand  an'  'en  if 
'ey  say  it 's  all  right,  he  goes  'head  an 
buys  it." 

"  I  do  n't  think  Willis  knows  very  much 
about  the  functions  of  the  Executive." 

"  Fum-shun  ?  Say,  misteh,  if  I  could 
say  'at  jus'  'e  way  you  done  it  I  would  n' 
let  Willis  Tuckeh  o'  no  otheh  man  sew 
me  up  in  no  ahgament,  no,  seh.  What 's 
'at  you  mean  by  'at  'bout  fum-shun  ?  " 

"  I  mean  that  your  friend  Willis  is 
mistaken.  That  would  be  a  fine  state  of 
affairs,  would  n't  it — the  President  of  the 
United  States  going  around  to  Congress  to 
get  a  little  money  every  time  he  wants  to 
buy  some  groceries  ?  " 
61 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Misteh,  you  know  I  use  'most  'em 
ve'y  wuhds  to  Willis  Tuckeh  ?  I  claim, 
seh,  'at  no  man  has  mo'  to  say  'bout  'e 
gov'ment  'an  Misteh  Presiden'  McKinley. 
Am  I  true  in  'at  ?" 

u  Certainly  you  are.  You  tell  your 
friend  to  go  and  read  the  constitution  of 
the  United  States." 

u  who— Willis  Tuckeh?  No,  seh; 
he  ain'  no  friend  o'  mine.  I  'm  jus'  ready 
heah  an'  now  to  buy  ticket  to  his  fune'al. 
Yes,  seh — he  done  me  duht." 

"  You  appear  to  cherish  an  animosity 
toward  Mr.  Tucker." 

"  I  got  'mosity  faw  any  man  'at  hoi's 
out  on  you.  Yes,  seh,  what  'at  speckled 
houn'  done  to  me  I  ain'  goin'  'o  fawget 
ve'y  soon." 

"  What  's  your  grievance?  " 

"  I  do  n'  say  I  grieve  'bout  it.     When 

he  say  to  me,  '  No,  seh,  Pink,  I  did  n'  get 

it  on,'  I  jus'   say,   *  O! ' — like  'at  —  an* 

p'ten'  like  to  believe  him,  but  I  know  con 

62 


PINK    MARSH 

when  I  get  it.     'Ey  can  make  me  take  it, 
misteh,  but  no  man  can't  make  me  like  it 

—  no,  seh!  " 

u  What  was  it  he  was  supposed  to  '  get 
on '  ?  " 

"  I  tell  you,  seh.  'Bout  fo'  weeks  ago, 
I  dream  nothin'  but  flowehs.  I  seem 
walkin'  in  fields  'ith  nothin'  but  jus'  flowehs 
as  fah  as  I  could  see.  I  'd  see  sunflowehs 
and  mawnin'-glo'ies  an'  pinks  an'  ev'y  kind 
o*  flowehs  —  mo'n  I  eveh  seen  befo'  in  all 
my  life.  Well,  seh,  nex'  mawnin'  I  kep' 
thinkin'  'bout  'em  flowehs,  an'  I  say,  c  'At 
sutny  means  someping.'  Afteh  breakfas' 
I  stops  in  at  Clem  Lesteh's  bahbeh-shop 
on  State  Street  an'  see  in  his  book  'at  if 
you  dream  wiP  flowehs,  'e  row  is  three  — 
seven  —  twenty-eight,  an'  if  it  's  flowehs 
done  up  in  bo'quets,  you  want  to  play  nine 

—  thuhty  —  fift'-two.     Well,  seh,  I  seen 
all  kind  o'   flowehs,  so  I  jus'  say  I  play 
wiP  flowahs  an'  bo'quets,  both." 

"What  is  this  play  —  policy  again?" 
63 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Yes,  seh,  two  rows,  jus'  as  I  say,  one 
faw  wiP  flowehs  an'  one  faw  bo'quets.  I 
'uz  jus'  goin'  out  of 'e  shop  an'  I  meet  Willis 
Tuckeh.  I  say,  '  Willis,  I  got  to  huh'y 
down  to  'e  shop  an'  I  want  you  to  take 
quahteh  an'  split  it  on  two  sets  o*  numbehs 
I  got  heah.  I  had  'em  wrote  down,  mis- 
teh,  an'  I  give  'em  to  him.  I  play  nick 
in  Frankfo't  book  f  three  —  seven  — 
twenty-eight  and  straddle  ten  'tween  Frank 
fo't  an'  Kentucky  on  same  row  and  let  'e 
otheh  dime  go  on  straddle  f  nine  — 
thuhty  —  fift'-two.  Willis  p'omised  me 
he  'd  see  'at  'e  money  got  on  faw  afteh- 
noon  drawin'." 

"  And  then  he  did  n't  do  it,  eh?  " 
"  Yes,  seh,  he  done  it,  an'  'at 's  what 
makes  me  soah.    W'y,  misteh,  when  I  get 
th'ough  my  wuhk  'at  day  an'  go  to  Misteh 
Lesteh's  shop  and  see  ol'  nine  an'  ol'  thuhty 
an'  ol'  fift'-two  all  in  'e  row  on  'e  sheet,  I 
could   jus'    see    myse'f   countin'    money. 
My  goodness,  misteh,   I  ask  faw  Willis, 
64 


m 

•   •    w*9/yy 


THE  MORNING  CUSTOMER 


PINK    MARSH 

an'  no  one  seen  him.  I  go  oveh  to  his 
house.  '  No,'  Mis'  Tuckeh  say,  *  I  ain't 
seen  Willis  since  mawnin'.  So  I  stahts 
'long  'e  line.  I  want  to  save  some  of  'at 
eight.  Last  I  fin'  Willis  in  'Lias  Clahk's 
saloon  rubbin'  'genst  'e  bah  an'  two  crap- 
playehs  along.  Jus'  soon  's  I  see  'at 
boy,  misteh,  I  knowed  it  wuzn'  no  wateh 
made  'em  eyes  'at  cullah.  Cullud  man 
can't  get  red  in  'e  face,  but  his  eyes  get 
bad,  an'  ol'  Willis  he  had  Tom  gin  eyes 
when  I  find  him.  I  say,  '  Willis,  will 
you  give  'em  to  me  in  papeh  o'  silveh?  * 
He  act  su'prise  like  an'  say,  c  What  you 
talkin'  'bout? '  I  say, c  'At  secon'  row  win 
in  'e  Frankfo't  book.'  Well,  seh,  when 
I  said  'bout  winnin',  he  made  'e  wahmes' 
bluff  I  eveh  see.  O,  he  's  good,  Willis 
is.  He  says,  c  By  Gawge,  Pink,  I  clean 
fawgot  to  get  'em  numbehs,'  an'  'en  he 
han'  me  back  'at  nasty  ol'  quahteh.  I 
made  no  holleh,  misteh.  I  neveh  let  on, 
but  did  n'  I  know  'at  man  had  my  right- 
65 


PINK    MARSH 

ful  money  right  in  his  cloze?  I  went 
'roun'  to  'e  policy-shop  to  look  at  'e  bet- 
sheet,  but  ol'  Willis  'uz  too  keen  faw  me. 
He  'd  gone  an'  bet  it  somewheahs  else. 
Yes,  seh,  he  done  me  up.  My  goodness, 
misteh,  I  get  so  mad  ev'y  time  I  re'lize 
'bout  lettin'  him  do  me.  He  done  me 
right,  suah.  Un'e'stand,  if  numbehs  did  n' 
come,  ol'  Willis  say  to  me,  c  Heah  's  'e 
tickets,  Pink,'  an'  'en  he  hand  you  some 
dead  numbehs.  If  'e  row  did  come,  he 
cash  in  an'  keep  all  'e  velvet  an'  gi'  me 
back  my  coin.  Misteh,  I  jus'  figgah  I 
did  n'  have  no  show  faw  my  life  'ith  'at 
man." 

"  I  suppose  not.  I  'm  surprised,  how 
ever,  that  any  of  your  Afro-American  ac 
quaintances  would  be  guilty  of  such  du 
plicity." 

"  'Plicity,  misteh?  I  wan'  tell  you, 
Willis  Tuckeh's  wuhse  'an  'at.  He's 
chicken-lifteh.  When  he  goes  'long  an 


66 


PINK    MARSH 

alley,  chickens  come  out  an*  roost  on  him. 
I  know  all  'bout  his  cha'cteh  now.  He 
can't  neveh  place  no  mo'  money  faw  me. 
No,  seh!" 


On  the  Origin  of  Species 

After  a  brief  experience  as  oracle  to 
Pink,  the  morning  customer  decided  to  be 
infallible.  He  learned  that  Pink  came  to 
him  with  full  trust,  and  he  believed  it  the 
better  plan  to  answer  all  questions.  So 
he  found  it  his  task  to  settle  the  problems 
relating  to  life  and  the  after-life.  Such  a 
task  would  have  been  difficult  but  for  the 
fact  that  Pink  hung  upon  his  words  in 
simple  faith  and  was  not  disposed  to  cross- 
question.  One  morning  the  subject  mat 
ter  was  evolution. 

"  Misteh,  I  'm  goin  'o  ask  you  someping 
'at  me  an'  Misteh  Cliffo'd  'uz  'sputin' 
'bout  'iss  mawnin',"  said  Pink,  pouring 
some  of  the  soft  dressing  into  the  clay- 
colored  bowl  of  his  hand.  u  Misteh 
Cliffo'd  says  'at  'iss  heah  Bob  Inge'soll 
68 


PINK    MARSH 

claim  'at  all  cullud  people  use  to  be  suah- 
'nough  monks,  same  as  'ey  got  out  heah 
at  Lincum  Pahk." 

"  The  theory  of  evolution  is  that  all 
men  came  from  the  lower  orders  of 
animal  life,"  said  the  morning  customer. 
"  If  Mr.  Clifford  says  that  the  colored 
people  in  particular  are  descendants  of 
the  simian,  he  is  laboring  under  a  misap 
prehension." 

"  I  toP  Misteh  Cliffo'd  he  'uz  givin' 
me  mis'plehension,  'cuz  you  know,  I  may 
be  easy,  but  'ey  can't  shoot  nothin'  like 
'at  into  me,  no,  seh." 

u  Does  Mr.  Clifford  believe  in  evolu 
tion  ?  " 

"  Mistah,  what  is  'at  emvalution  ?  " 

"  I  believe  it  is  defined  as  a  change, 
by  continuous  differentiation  and  integra 
tion,  from  a  simple  homogeneity  to  a  com 
plex  heterogeneity,  or  something  like 
that." 

"  All  right,  misteh,  heah  's  wheah  I  get 
69 


PINK    MARSH 

off.  'Iss  is  my  cohneh.  Goodness,  man! 
You  ah  sutny  holdin'  back  mo'  good  talk 
an*  any  pusson  I  eveh  see.  'Ferenchia- 
shum  of  'genity  —  I  guess  'at 's  pooh  talk, 
ain't  it  ?  I  'm  glad  you  handed  'at  to  me. 
I  been  kind  o'  wantin'  to  get  'at  cleahed 
up  in  my  mind.  I  know  it  now,  misteh. 
Need  n'  say  it  agen." 

The  morning  customer  lifted  the  news 
paper  to  conceal  his  grin  of  self-satisfac 
tion,  and  Pink  labored  at  the  shoe,  occa 
sionally  shaking  his  head  and  whispering 
to  himself. 

Finally  he  looked  up  and  said,  "  I  tol* 
Misteh  Cliffo'd  I  could  n't  un'e'stand  'at, 
'cuz  I  know  'at  ol'  Adam  was  'e  fus'  man 
of  all.  Ain't  'at  so?" 

"  That  's  right.  We  all  descended 
from  Adam." 

"  Yes,  seh,  an'  Misteh  Cliffo'd  ask  me 
how  it  is  'at  we  got  white  people  an'   cul- 
lud  people.     He  kind  o'  had  me  guessin'. 
How  'bout  'at,  misteh  ?  " 
70 


PINK    MARSH 

u  Why,  that  's  easy  enough.  We  were 
all  white  once,  but  some  of  the  people 
went  down  into  Africa  just  after  the  flood, 
and  it  was  so  hot  down  there  that  they  be 
came  tanned." 

"You  call  'at  tan?"  asked  Pink, 
thoughtfully  looking  at  his  knuckles, 
which  resembled  a  row  of  chocolate 
creams.  "  No,  seh,  misteh,  'at  ain't  no 
tan.  You  sutny  got  to  skin  me  to  change 
my  cullah.  No,  seh.  Huh-uh !  S'pose 
I  go  in  Audito'um  hotel  to  get  dinneh  'an 
'e  whole  thing  'ith  one  of  'em  Gawgy  min 
strel  suits  come  up  an'  say,  '  Niggeh,  you 
get  out  'o  heah  befo'  we  take  you  out 
piece  at  a  time  ! '  I  say,  c  S'cuse  me,  seh, 
I  'm  no  niggeh ;  I  'm  white  man  'at  got 
sunbuhned  ! '  Co'se  'at  'd  be  all  right! 
He  'd  un'e'stand  'at!  Any  man  look  at 
me  know  'ey  's  nothin'  'e  matteh  'cept 
I  'm  kind  o'  flushed  f'om  bein'  outdoohs." 

u  Well,  I  do  n't  deny  that  the  color  is 
fixed  now,  but  you  must  remember  that  it 


PINK    MARSH 

required  many  generations  for  the  African 
to  assume  his  present  color." 

u  Yes,  seh,  it's  goin'  'o  be  two  o' 
three  yeahs  'fo'  I  change  back  to  be 
blonde  too,"  said  Pink,  and  he  gave  an 
explosive  bark  of  laughter. 

"  What 's  the  matter  with  you,  over 
there?"  asked  the  new  barber,  with  the 
white  tie,  who  was  sea-foaming  a  red 
headed  man  and  getting  some  good  color- 
effects. 

"  Neveh  you  mind,"  returned  Pink, 
"  I  'm  findin'  out  things.  Look  heah, 
misteh,  how  is  it  some  cullud  people  's  so 
dahk  an'  othehsjus'  yellow?  I  s'pose 
some  of  'em  set  in  'e  shade  mo'  'an 
othehs." 

"  I  do  n't  know,  I  'm  sure,"  said  the 
morning  customer,  trying  to  restrain  a 
smile. 

u  I  guess  'at  what  you  say  'bout  changin' 
cullah  ain't  so  fah  off,  neetheh.  I  use' 
to  know  cullud  boy  in  Tuhkish  bath  place 
72 


A   "CREOLE" 


PINK    MARSH 

'at  got  job  on  'e  stage  doin'  buck-dancin', 
an'  some  of  'at  pasamala  wahm  stuff.  He 
could  jus'  melt  'e  nails  out  of  'e  flooh, 
Albe't  could.  Ev'ybody  thought  Albe't 
'uz  a  cullud  boy  till  'e  got  'iss  job  'ith 
'e  show.  W'y,  he  wuz  n'  no  coon  at  all, 
no,  seh." 

"  What  was  he  ?  " 

u  Yes,  seh  ;  he  wuz  a  Creole,  'at  's 
what  Albe't  wuz.  Co'se  you  look  at 
Albe't  an'  you  might  think  'at  he  had 
some  niggeh  blood  in  him,  but  he  ain't. 
No,  seh,  he  's  a  creole.  I  know  it,  'cuz 
I  see  it  on  'e  show-bills.  Good  many 
people  'at  used  to  be  cullud  is  tuhnin' 
out  to  be  Creoles,  oct'oons,  Eth'op'ans, 
Af'o-Ameh'cans,  an' — 

"Any  Cubans?" 

"  Yes,  seh,  some  —  smoked  Cubans. 
Goodness,  misteh,  you  can't  hahdly  find 
no  mo'  coons  on  'e  South  Side.  I  think  I 
betteh  be  creole  myse'f,  same  as  Albe't." 

"  How  are  you  on  dancing,  Pink?" 
73 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Wahm  —  wahm,  an*  no  mistake. 
You  neveh  see  me  pick  'em  up  an'  set  'em 
down  agen,  did  you  ?  I  fool  you,  misteh ; 
I  ain't  so  bad.  No,  seh  !  But  I  sutny 
got  to  hang  my  head  when  oP  Albe't 
begin  movin'  'round  in  'e  sand.  Albe't 
got  me  faded,  suah.  Albe't  went  up  to 
rent-rag  'ith  me  one  night,  an'  win  ev'y 
woman  in  'e  house.  I  guess  'ey  wuz 
mo'  'an  a  dozen  razahs  shahpened  faw  ol' 
Albe't  'at  night." 

"  What  in  the  world  is  a  rent-rag  ? " 
"  You  do  n'  know  what  a  rent-rag  is, 
misteh  ?  I  guess  you  ain't  been  out  'round 
Deahbohn  Street  ve'y  much.  You  see, 
misteh,  'ey 's  quite  a  numbah  o'  cullud 
fam'lies  'at 's  hahd  up  'iss  time  o'  yeah, 
an'  'ey  can't  ve'y  well  come  up  'ith  'e 
rent.  So  'ey  have  pahties,  an'  chahge 
ev'y  one  someping  to  come  in  —  ten  cents 
sometimes,  o'  as  much  as  two  bits.  'At 's 
'e  way  some  of  'em  got  to  do  to  stand  off 
'e  lan'lohd.  Ev'ybody  comes  in  and  has 
74 


PINK    MARSH 

good  time,  an'  'e  fam'ly  's  two  or  three 
dollahs  to  'e  good.  Yes,  seh,  we  had 
some  ve'y  wahm  sessions  at  'em  rent-rags. 
'Ey  's  sutny  good.  Take  it  'bout  two 
'clock  in  'e  mawnin'  'ith  all  of 'em  po'tehs 
and  waitehs  kind  o'  crackin'  'ith  Tom  gin, 
I  tell  you  it  ain't  safe  to  staht  nothin'. 
'At  's  what  I  say:  '  Be  good,  but  do  n' 
staht  nothin'  'cuz  anything  stahted  it  's 
goin'  'o  finish  at  'e  hospital,  suah  's  yo' 
bawn.'  'Long  'bout  two  you  got  to  be 
caihful  whose  lady  you  lay  yo'  hand  on. 
'Cuz  I  know.  I  see  Grant  Jenkins  pull 
his  'ol  bahbeh's  friend  one  night,  and  begin 
makin'  signs  at  ol'  Gawge  Lippincott's 
brotheh,  'at  'uz  visitin'  heah  fom  In'ana- 
polis,  an',  misteh,  you  jus'  ought  to  see 
Pink  come  down  'em  staihs.  O,  I  guess 
I  wuz  slow,  wuz  n'  I  ?  I  did  n'  wait  to 
walk  down.  No,  seh ;  I  wuz  too  busy. 
I  jus'  fell,  'at  's  all  I  done.  If  'ey  's  eveh 
goin'  'o  be  any  cahvin',  misteh,  I  jus'  soon 
go  home  an'  'en  read  'bout  it  in  'e  papeh 

75 


PINK    MARSH 

nex'  mawnin'.  Yes,  seh  j  I  do  n'  mind 
waitin'  to  find  out  what  'e  finish  is." 

u  You  must  be  associated  with  a  des 
perate  crowd." 

"No,  seh;  'em  boys  ain't  tough  on'y 
faw  a  few  'at  gets  mixed  in.  I  been  to 
some  of  'em  pahties  out  theah  'at  uz  'e 
real  thing,  misteh.  Yes,  seh  ;  most  ev'y 
one  have  on  'em  dress  suits.  'At 's  wheah 
they  lose  me,  misteh.  Most  all  of  'em 
cullud  waitehs  got  to  have  'em  suits  befo' 
they  can  wuhk.  Ol'  Pink  shows  up  'ith 
his  blue  cloze  an'  he  ain't  one-two-three. 
Guess  I  '11  have  to  be  waiteh  if  I  'm  goin' 
'o  be  strong  out  theah.  I  ain'  sayin'  a 
wuhd,  but  I  'm  jus'  layin'  faw  a  suit  of  'em 
cloze  'at  some  white  gemman  's  got 
th'ough  usin'.  You  eveh  le'  me  get  a  suit 
of  'em  real  boys,  misteh,  an  'ey  's  nothin' 
on  'e  South  Side  goin'  'o  pass  me  —  no, 
seh.  I  '11  put  some  of  'em  cofFee-cullud 
waitehs  in  a  trance,  'cuz  'em  suits  'ey  flash 
is  bad — got  grease-spots  all  down  'e  front." 
76 


SUAH-'NOUGH  SPOHT 


PINK    MARSH 

u  How  would  you  like  to  have  a  suit 
with  silk  facing  on  the  lapels  ?  "  asked  the 
morning  customer. 

"  Hush,  man,  hush!  Do  n'  get  me  to 
dreamin'." 

u  I  've  got  a  dress-suit  you  can  have  if 
you  want  it." 

"  Look  out,  man  !  Be  caihful !  Do  n' 
say  it  'less  you  mean  it,  'cuz  'at 's  jus' 
what  I  'm  needin'." 

u  I  mean  it.  I  had  to  buy  a  new  suit  a 
few  weeks  ago.  The  old  one  's  up  there 
at  the  room,  and  you  can  have  it  any  time 
you  come  for  it." 

"  Misteh,  I  be  theah  'iss  aftehnoon 
ahead  o'  you,  I  p'omise  you  that." 

"  All  right.  I  do  n't  know  whether  it 
will  fit  you  or  not.  I  think  you  're  a 
little  larger  than  I  am." 

"  It 's  got  to  fit  me,  misteh.  I  need  it, 
an'  it 's  got  to  fit  me.  I  won'  do  a  thing 
'ith  'at  ol'  suit  nex'  Satuhday  night,  I 
guess." 

77 


PINK    MARSH 

"  What  is  it — a  rent-rag  ?  " 

"  No,  seh ;  'e  Sons  an'  Daughtehs  o' 
Estheh  goin'  'o  have  dance  at  Temp'ance 
Hall.  I  guess  I  won'  be  theah  at  all." 

"  O,  I  see.  You  are  going  to  execute 
a  social  coup  de  main." 

"  I  '11  be  wuhse  'n  'at,  misteh.  I  '11 
make  'em  cheap  waiteh's  put  on  theah 
ovehcoats  an'  go  home." 

The  morning  customer  wrote  his  home 
address  on  a  card. 

That  evening  he  found  Pink  waiting  at 
the  front  gate.  The  suit  of  evening 
clothes,  with  the  real  silk  facing  on  the 
coat,  was  wrapped  up  in  a  newspaper  and 
handed  out  to  the  boy,  who  did  fancy 
walking  steps  as  he  went  away,  keeping 
time  to  his  own  music. 


On  the  Pride  Which  Goes  Before 
a  Fall 

There  was  a  strange  face  in  the  corner. 
Pink  was  missing. 

The  morning  customer  hesitated  for  a 
moment,  and  then  he  climbed  up  on  the 
throne  and  sat  in  the  saggy  arm-chair. 

"  Shine  ?  "   asked  the  new  boy. 

"  No,  I  want  to  be  manicured,"  replied 
the  morning  customer. 

The  colored  youth  stood  still  and  looked 
at  the  man  in  the  chair.  He  seemed  to 
be  in  doubt. 

"  Do  n'  you  want  no  shine  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Of  course  I  want  a  shine." 

Pink's  successor  settled  down  on  the 
stool  as  if  in  a  general  collapse,  and  began 
to  sponge  mud  from  the  shoe  on  the  foot- 
rest. 

79 


PINK    MARSH 

He  was  tall  and  loose-jointed.  His 
color  was  that  of  coffee  not  yet  roasted. 
The  forelock  of  his  kinky  hair  stood  up 
like  a  steeple.  Instead  of  a  shirt  he 
wore  a  cotton  sweater,  which  had  been 
white  at  one  time.  His  brown  coat  was 
short  for  him,  and  the  black  braid  had  been 
worn  away  in  places.  The  trousers  were 
a  shiny  black. 

He  went  at  his  work  slowly  and  sol 
emnly.  The  morning  customer  leaned 
his  elbows  on  the  arms  of  the  chair  and 
studied  him.  Then  he  asked  :  "  Where 
is  the  boy  who  was  here  last  week  ? " 

"  I  dunno." 

"  Is  he  sick  ?  " 

"  I  dunno." 

"  How  did  you  happen  to  get  this  job  ?  " 

u  Well,  seh,  he  did  n'  show  up  yes'day 
mawnin'.  I  guess  he  's  fiahed." 

"  What 's  your  name  ?  " 

"  Edwahd  Petehs." 

u  All  right,  Eddie.  Will  you  just  hurry 
80 


THE  SUCCESSOR 


PINK    MARSH 

a  bit  ?  Your  technique  is  good,  but  your 
tempo  is  bad." 

The  new  boy  looked  up  sleepily  and 
made  no  response.  He  toiled  patiently, 
but  the  shine  which  he  imparted  was  noth 
ing  more  than  a  dull,  metallic  burnish. 

The  morning  customer  passed  upon  him 
and  decided  that  he  was  tired,  wobbly,  and 
uninteresting. 

And  where  was  Pink  ? 

Mr.  Clifford  was  not  at  the  shop,  so  the 
morning  customer  applied  to  Mr.  Adams 
for  information.  Mr.  Adams,  who  was 
chewing  gum  and  looking  at  a  colored 
weekly,  did  not  trouble  himself  to  look  up 
when  the  question  was  addressed  to  him. 
He  smiled  in  fixed  admiration  at  a  noisy 
cartoon  and  said,  "  The  old  man  let  him 

go." 

The  morning  customer  went  back  to  his 
office  feeling  that  a  part  of  his  morning 
had  been  wasted. 

It  was  about  two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon 
81 


PINK    MARSH 

when  the  office-boy  came  to  the  door  and 
said,  u  Colored  feller  wants  to  see  you." 

"  A  colored  fellow?  Who  is  he?  What 
does  he  want  to  see  me  about?  " 

"  I  do  n't  know.  He  's  got  one  hand 
wrapped  up." 

"  Well,  I  can't  imagine  —  tell  him  to 
come  in." 

With  hesitating  steps  William  Pinckney 
Marsh  came  to  the  doorway.  His  over 
coat  collar  was  turned  up,  and  one  of  his 
hands  was  bound  up  in  a  rude  bandage, 
which  was  fastened  with  a  large  safety-pin. 
He  had  a  sorrowful  gaze.  His  eyeballs 
were  threaded  and  bloodshot. 

The  morning  customer  repressed  an  un 
feeling  inclination  to  laugh.  He  put  him 
self  on  his  dignity  and  asked:  "  O,  it 's 
you,  is  it,  Pink?  " 

"  Yes,  seh ;  jus'  some  pieces  o'  me,  'at  's 
all." 

"  Sit  down." 

Pink  eased  himself  down  into  a  chair, 
82 


PINK    MARSH 

shook  his  head  as  if  in  bitterness  of  spirit, 
and  gave  a  gusty  sigh. 

"  What  's  this  I  hear  about  you  losing 
your  job  ?  "  asked  the  morning  customer. 

"  I  'm  a  good  thing,  misteh,"  said  Pink, 
soothing  the  bandaged  hand. 

"  You  do  n't  seem  to  be  particularly 
joyous  about  it.  Have  you  had  any 
trouble  ?" 

"  Misteh,  I  ain'  had  nothin'  else.  No 
use  talkin',  I  stahted  out  to  do  too  much  in 
one  night.  I  stahted  bold,  misteh,  but  I 
sutny  got  lost  at  'e  finish." 

"  Well,  my  time  is  valuable,  Pink.  If 
you  have  any  tale  of  woe,  why,  go  ahead 
with  it." 

u  Misteh,  it  'uz  'at  dress-suit  you  give 
me.  I  wanted  to  be  too  good,  too  good." 

"  Did  you  go  to  the  ball  ?  " 

"  'At 's  wheah  I  stahted  faw,  misteh.    I 

stahted  all  right.     I  wuz  goin'  to  take  'at 

Miss    Lo'ena   Jackson  to  'e   pahty  of  'at 

Sons  an'  Daughtehs  o'  Estheh.     I  got  on 

83 


PINK    MARSH 

'em  cloze  you  give  me,  an'  I  look  myse'f 
oveh  an*  say:  CO,  I  guess  "I'm  pooh.' 
Yes,  seh,  I  wuz  too  wahm.  Stahted  out 
good,  on'y  I  wanted  to  make  flash  befo' 
some  of 'em  boys  'at  hangs  out  at  Mahtin's 
—  yes,  seh." 

u  Martin's  being,  I  presume,  a  saloon 
kept  by  a  gentleman  of  your  own  color?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,"  said  Pink,  weakly.  "  I  goes 
in  Mahtin's,  an'  I  see  Clay  Walkeh  an' 
some  mo'  boys  rollin'  'e  bones.  I  go  up 
to  Clay,  an'  I  say:  '  What 's  yo' point? ' 
He  say:  c  Nine.'  I  say,  '  Two  bits  you 
seven,'  an'  he  done  it.  Misteh,  I  pick  up 
my  two  frien's  an'  breathe  on  'em  an — " 

u  Look  here,  Pink,"  said  the  morning 
customer,  glancing  at  the  clock  on  top  of 
the  desk,  "  I  have  n't  time  to  follow  you 
through  the  intricacies  of  a  crap  game. 
What  happened?" 

"  Misteh,  'em  dice  did  n'  have  nothin' 
but  sevens  faw  me.  Twin  eight  dollahs 
fast  as  I  could  pick  money  up.  I  could  n' 
84 


PINK   MARSH 

quit  afteh  I  got  'at  much,  not  'ithout  takin* 
chances.  Yes,  seh,  I  had  on  'em  cloze, 
an'  ev'ything  comin'  my  way,  an*  I  could  n' 
get  'em  drinks  fast  enough.  Gin  an*  honey, 
'at 's  what  I  wuz  throwin*  in." 

"  Then  you  became  intoxicated  ?  " 
u  Misteh,  I  fawgot  Miss  Lo'ena  Jackson 
an*  'at  pahty.  'Em  cloze  made  me  too 
good.  I  wuz  gamblin'  'ith  race-hoss  boys 
an'  suah-'nough  spohts,  an'  I  would  n'  let 
no  man  pass  me." 

"  How  did  you  hurt  your  hand  ?  " 
"  Yes,  seh,  'at  's  wheah  gemman  tried  to 
do  me  'ith  a  pokeh." 

"  That  's  pleasant.  And  how  did  you 
come  to  lose  your  job  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  woke  up  'bout  ten  'clock 
nex'  mawnin'  on  a  table  in  'at  back  room 
at  Mahtin's." 

"  All  your  money  gone,  I  suppose." 
"  Do  n't  ask,  man;  do  n't  ask." 
"  So  you  did  n't  show  up  for  work  ?  " 
"  Yes,  seh,  'at  's  jus'  what  I  done  an' 
85 


PINK    MARSH 

'ey  had  'notheh  boy  on  'e  chaih.  Misteh 
Cliffo'd  sen'  me  out  of  'e  shop,  'cuz  he 
say  I  wuz  n'  sobeh  yet." 

"  I  expect  he  was  right.  What  are  you 
going  to  do  now  ?  Have  you  got  another 
job  ?  " 

"  No,  seh  ;  I  'm  sutny  on  'e  edge  of  'at 
cahpet,  misteh." 

"  You  remember  what  I  told  you  about 
saving  your  money  ?  If  you  had  a  little 
money  in  the  bank  now,  you  'd  be  all 
right." 

"  Yes,  seh,  if  I  had  some  money  in  'e 
bank,  I  would  n'  caih  so  much  to  get 
wuhk  right  away." 

"  I  expect  not.  There  's  no  need  of 
working  as  long  as  you  have  a  cent  any 
where  on  earth.  Well,  what  are  you  go 
ing  to  do?  " 

"  Misteh,   I    want     to    write  letteh  to 
Misteh  Cliffo'd,  an*  say  'at  if  he'll  put  me 
back  on  'e  chaih,  I  '11  sutny  conduc'  myse'f 
as  gemman  should  in  a  bahbeh-shop." 
86 


PINK    MARSH 

«  Yes,  —  and  what  else  do  you  want  to 
tell  him  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  I  say  to  tell  Misteh  Cliffo'd 
'at  I  'm  a  man  among  men,  an'  neveh  in- 
ten'  to  do  no  pusson  no  hahm,  and  if  he 
hiahs  me  back  in  'at  shop  I  '11  sutny  g'an- 
tee  to  conduc'  myse'f  sa'sfacto'y." 

«  All  right." 

The  morning  customer  touched  a  push 
button,  and  a  young  woman  came  in  from 
the  outer  room  with  a  book  in  her  hand. 

"Take  this,"  said  he,  and  after  the 
young  woman  had  seated  herself  he  dic 
tated  as  follows : 

MR.  CLIFFORD — Dear  Sir:  "To  err  is 
human;  to  forgive,  divine."  Your  petitioner 
beseeches  you  from  a  contrite  heart  to  forgive 
and  forget  his  recent  wandering  from  the  straight 
and  narrow  path.  He  admits  that,  as  a  result 
of  circumstances  which  cannot  be  set  forth  in 
this  connection,  he  partook  too  freely  of  alco 
holic  stimulants,  and  thereby  rendered  himself 
incapable  of  appearing  at  your  establishment  at 

87 


PINK    MARSH 

the  customary  hour  to  assume  the  duties  allotted 
to  him.  Mr.  Clifford,  remember  what  the 
poet  says:  "Judge  not,  but  rather  in  your 
heart  let  gentle  pity  dwell." 

I  am  a  man  among  men,  and  if  you  should 
deem  it  advisable  to  reinstate  me  in  the  respon 
sible  position  which  I  held  in  your  tonsorial 
apartments,  I  can  assure  you  that  I  will  so  con 
duct  myself  as  to  promote  your  business  inter 
ests  and  bring  the  glad  flush  of  pleasure  to  the 
cheek  of  your  most  fastidious  patron.  Do  not 
condemn  a  young  man  for  all  time  because  of 
one  offense.  Never  before,  during  my  entire 
occupancy  of  the  position  at  your  establishment, 
did  I  forget  the  ancient  glory  of  my  race  or  my 
own  standing  as  an  Afro-American,  and  allow 
myself  to  fall  into  the  clutches  of  the  rum  fiend. 
Now  that  I  have  come  to  a  new  realization  of 
the  scriptural  line,  "At  the  last  it  biteth  like  a  ser 
pent  and  stingeth  like  an  adder,"  I  am  fully 
determined  to  abstain  from  all  spirituous,  vinous 
or  malt  intoxicating  liquors,  and  especially  gin 
and  honey. 

I  am  credibly  informed  that  the  gentleman 
who  has  succeeded  me,  and  who  is  now  mak- 
88 


"TOO  GOOD!     TOO  GOOD!" 


PINK   MARSH 

ing  a  pitiable  attempt  to  win  the  favor  of  the 
public,  is  not  an  artist  of  any  standing,  and 
that  his  work  has  been  the  subject  of  severe 
criticism.  Therefore,  I  humbly  request  that 
the  past  be  forgotten,  and  that  we  soon  re 
sume  those  relations  which  were  productive 
of  pleasure  to  me  and,  I  am  quite  sure,  of  some 
pecuniary  profit  to  you.  I  have  the  extreme 
honor  to  subscribe  myself,  very  truly  and  affec 
tionately, 

"  Now,  when  she  gets  that  written  out, 
you  can  sign  it,"  said  the  morning  cus 
tomer. 

Pink  had  been  listening  to  the  dictation 
with  such  consuming  interest  that  his 
eyes  were  set  and  staring,  and  his  lower 
lip  hung  down  and  out  like  a  drooping  red 
petal.  When  the  morning  customer 
spoke  to  him  he  blinked  and  shook  his 
head  slowly  as  if  he  were  coming  out  of 
heavy  slumber. 

"  If  'at  letteh  do  n'  put  me  back,  it  jus* 
means  I  can't  be  put,  'at  's  all,"  said  he. 

89 


On  the  Relative  Merits  of  Great 
Contemporaries 

Three  days  after  the  dictation  of  the 
letter,  the  morning  customer  received  a 
postal-card  which  read  as  follows: 

Yore  letter  got  me  my  job  back.  Old  cuss- 
tomers  always  welcom.  Yours  truely, 

WILLIAM  PINCKNEY  MARSH. 

He  laughed,  and  sent  the  card  out  to  his 
stenographer. 

Next  morning  he  did  not  go  to  Mr. 
Clifford's  shop.  He  knew  that  if  he 
seemed  over-willing  to  promote  an  inti 
macy,  Pink  would  no  longer  hold  him  in 
awe. 

On  the  second  morning  he  went  to  the 
shop.  Pink  arose  from  the  corner  smiling 
expectantly,  but  the  morning  customer  re 
sponded  with  a  conservative  nod,  and 
90 


PINK    MARSH 

climbed  into  the  chair  without  speaking. 
He  knew  that  if  he  encouraged  familiarity 
at  this  crisis,  he  might  lose  his  place  as  an 
oracle,  and  certainly  he  would  cease  to  be 
a  height. 

Pink  was  somewhat  abashed  by  the  cool 
ness  of  his  patron.  He  went  to  work 
quietly,  and  after  a  while  he  said :  u  Well, 
seh,  I  'm  back  heah." 

u  So  I  see.  I  trust  it  is  with  the  deter 
mination  to  make  amends  for  the  past." 

"  You  know  me,  misteh.  Jus'  watch 
me  lay  low." 

"  You  and  Mr.  Clifford  are  once  more 
on  friendly  terms?  " 

u  My  goodness,  misteh,  jus'  like  broth- 
ehs.  Yes,  seh,  Misteh  Cliffo'd  say  I  can 
have  'iss  job  jus'  long  as  I  keep  sobeh. 
Drink  it,  misteh?  Huh-uh!  '  Come  on, 
Pink,  an'  have  someping.'  c  No,  seh,  'at 
stuff  used  me  wrong — don'  wan'  no  mo' 
of  'at.' " 

"  No  more  gin  and  honey,  eh?  " 

9* 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Hush,  misteh!  'At 's  bad — bad!  Gin 
an*  honey 's  bad,  misteh.  It  is  sutny 
smooth  bev'age,  but  it  hahms  you  jus'  like 
'at  five-cent  whisky.  Ain'  got  no  claws 
while  it  's  goin'  down,  misteh,  but  you  get 
it  to  wuhkin',  an'  you  want  to  get  right  out 
an'  fight  yo'  own  fam'ly.  Do  n'  do  thing 
to  you,  no,  seh." 

"  When  did  you  get  back  here?  " 

u  Day  befo*  yes'day  mawnin',  misteh. 
'At  letteh  you  got  up  faw  me  fix  it  'ith 
Misteh  ClifFo'd.  My  goodness,  'at  'uz  a 
wahm  boy,  suah  !  Some  of  'em  wuhds 
you  tossed  into  Misteh  ClifFo'd  neveh 
come  out  o'  no  small  book,  no,  seh.  'Em 
'uz  'e  real  tomolleys.  Some  of  'em  too 
good  f  Misteh  ClirFo'd,  an'  he  kind  o' 
guesses  'at  he  's  'e  real  thing,  too." 

Just  then  there  was  an  outbreak  at  the 
other  end  of  the  room.  The  barber  with 
the  white  tie  was  waving  paper  money  and 
telling  Mr.  Adams  that  he  must  either 
"put  up  or  shut  up."  Mr.  Adams  ap- 
92 


WATCH  ME  LAY  LOW" 


PINK    MARSH 

peared  to  be  in  a  scornful  mood.  He 
walked  toward  his  own  chair  and  made  a 
side  remark,  to  the  effect  that  it  was  a 
"  bluff."  Thereupon  the  barber  with  the 
white  tie  laughed  defiantly  and  put  the 
money  back  into  his  pocket. 

"  What  's  the  matter  with  those  gentle 
men?  "  asked  the  morning  customer. 

"  Do  n't  you  know  what  'at  is?  'Em 
wise  boys  is  settlin'  'at  fight  next  week. 
Yes,  seh,  'ey  been  bettin'  jus'  like  'at  all 
day  yes'day  an'  to-day,  an'  I  ain't  seen  no 
money  go  up  yet.  'Em  boys  is  full  o' 
spohtin'  blood." 

"  Well,  what  do  you  think  of  the  fight 
yourself?  " 

u  Misteh,  it 's  bet'een  two  of  'em  cheap 
white  fightehs,  an'  it  do  n'  make  no  dif- 
f'ence  who  wins.  S'pose  Misteh  Cliffo'd 
knock  out  Misteh  Adams — 'at  do  n'  show 
nothin'.  It 's  jus'  like  goin'  into  'at  side 
show  an'  thinkin'  you  see  'e  real  suhcus." 

•'  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ? " 
93 


PINK    MARSH 

"  You  know  well  'nough  what  I  mean, 
misteh  —  man  like  you  'at  reads  all  'bout 
'ese  boys  in  'e  papehs.  I  mean  'ey  's  one 
ol'  boy  'at  can  jus'  fold  'em  up  an'  lay  'em 
away  as  fast  as  you  hand  'em  to  him,  yes, 
seh." 

"  Do  you  mean  Sullivan  ? " 

"  Listen  to  you  talk  !  No,  seh  !  I 
don'  mean  no  John  L.  I  mean  'e 
wahmest  one  at  eveh  wuz — Peteh  Jackson." 

"  O,  Peter  Jackson?  He  was  a  good 
man." 

"Make  it  betteh  'ngood,  misteh  ;  make 
it  strongeh.  He  'uz  'at  ol'  teacheh, 
Peteh  wuz,  an'  all  'em  otheh  boys  had  to 
go  to  school  to  'im.  Any  time  ol'  Peteh 
get  licked,  all  'em  cullud  boys  'long 
Ahmoh  Av'nue  an'  Deahbohn  Street  sutny 
goin'  'o  stahve.  Anybody  goin'  'o  do 
Peteh  betteh  get  razah  an'  a  gun." 

"  I  was  under  the  impression  that  he 
and  Corbett  fought  a  draw  once." 

"  Look  heah,  misteh  !  Do  n't  you 
94 


PINK    MARSH 

know  'bout  'at  draw  ?  Peteh  had  his  leg 
broke  an'  could  n'  get  at  Misteh  Cawbett. 
Peteh  eveh  ketch  up  'ith  'at  pompado' boy 
—  all  off,  suah  !  Peteh  eveh  push  Misteh 
Cawbett  'ith  one  of  'em  big  black  hams  — 
Misteh  Cawbett  would  n'  be  lookin'  f ' 
no  fight  'ith  Mr.  Fitz  now,  no,  seh.  He  'd 
jus'  'bout  be  gettin'  out  of  'at  hospital." 

"  Oh,  I  think  you  're  prejudiced  in  favor 
of  Peter  on  account  of  his  color.  He  's 
out  of  it  now." 

"  Well,  seh,  if  he  is  out  of  it  'at 's 
mighty  good  thing  faw  some  of  'ese  boy 
fightehs.  'Cuz  if  Peteh  eveh  comes  back 
'iss  way,  somebody  has  sutny  got  to  be  eat, 
yes,  seh  !  " 

u  Did  you  ever  see  Peter?  " 

"  Hush,  man  !  Did  I  ?  I  took  a  drink 
'ith  Misteh  Peteh  Jackson  one  day  down 
at  Johnson's.  You  see  Peteh  walk  into 
'at  place  an'  ev'y  Pullman  po'teh  an' 
lunch-room  boy  jus'  drop  down  on  his 
knees  and  shake  like  'at.  OP  Will  Ah- 
95 


PINK    MARSH 

buckle— say,  misteh  !  OP  Will  Ah- 
buckle  he  spah  'ith  cullud  fellow  f'om 
Milwaukee  oveh  heah  on  'e  lake  front 
one  night, an'  he  got  it  all  fixed  'ith  himse'f 
'at  he  wuz  suah-nough  p'ize  fighteh.  One 
day  he  wuz  stan'in  at  'e  bah  in  Johnson's 
tellin'  a  lot  of  'em  cheap  yellow  boys  how 
to  get  in  'ith  'at  knock-out.  My  good 
ness,  misteh,  he  wuz  makin'  all  'em  sassy 
swings  an'  uppeh-cuts  —  oh,  he  wuz  good! 
All  o'  sudden  'em  boys'  eyes  kind  o'  bug 
out  an'  some  one  say  :  '  Look  out,  Will, 
'at 'shim  now.'  'Who  is  it?'  ol'  Will 
hollehs,  swingin'  round  —  bad,  you  know. 
Somebody  tol'  him  it  wuz  Peteh  Jackson. 
My  goodness,  misteh,  you  jus'  ought  to 
seen  —  tuhned  kind  o'  white,  suah.  He 
neveh  said  'notheh  wuhd  all  'e  time  Misteh 
Peteh  Jackson  'uz  theah.  He  jus'  kep' 
still  an'  give  him  'at  eye.  Oscah  Jones 
says  Will  neveh  did  get  to  be  as  black 
agen  as  he  wuz  'at  day  Peteh  walked 
in." 

96 


PINK    MARSH 

"  So  you  're  not  taking  much  interest 
in  this  coming  fight  ?  " 

u  Jus'  side-show,  misteh,  'at 's  all.  Can't 
have  no  suah-'nough  p'ize  fight  'ithout  ol' 
Peteh  bein'  theah.  Co'se  Gawge  Dixon's 
puhty  wahm  boy,  an'  'at  Misteh  Joe 
Woolcott  ain't  so  cold,  but  'ey  's  on'y  one 
hot  baby,  misteh,  an'  'at  's  Misteh  Peteh 
Jackson  f  'om  Aust'alia." 

"  You  seem  to  think  that  the  Afro- 
Americans  are  invincible." 

"  How  's  'at,  misteh  ?  "    • 

"  I  say,  you  seem  to  think  that  a  colored 
man  can  't  be  defeated." 

"  On'y  way  to  lick  cullud  man,  misteh, 
is  to  ketch  him  on  'e  shin." 

"  On  the  shin  ?      Does  that  hurt  ?  " 

u  Huht,  man  ?  My  goodness  !  You 
see  Polk  Street  coppeh  takin'  in  one  of  'em 
bad  boys  f 'om  'e  levee  —  he  do  n't  hit  him 
on  no  head.  He  jus'  rap  him  one  'cross 
'e  shin  an'  'at  cullud  boy  lay  down  an' 
yell  jus'  like  he  been  shot.  Cullud  boy 
97 


PINK    MARSH 

sutny  can't  stan'  nothin'  on  his  shin.  I 
see  cullud  boy  f 'om  Palmeh  House  put 
on  'e  gloves  one  night  'ith  white  fellow 
down  heah  at  Batte'y  D,  misteh.  'At 
white  man  he  pound  'at  cullud  boy  on  'e 
head  till  his  knuckles  all  broke,  an'  'e 
cullud  boy  kep'  on  comin'  back  an'  askin' 
faw  mo'.  'En  when  'at  ref 'ee  wuz  n' 
lookin',  'at  white  man  spiked  'e  cullud  boy 
on  'e  shin.  Misteh,  he  could  n'  get  'em 
gloves  off  soon  'nough.  Yes,  seh, 
misteh,  you  eveh  have  any  trouble  'ith  a 
cullud  boy,  you  get  up  as  neah  to  him  as 
you  can  an'  say,  c  'At 's  all  right,  seh,  we 
do  n'  want  no  ahgament,'  an'  'en  you  get 
in  hot  one  on  his  shin  befo'  he  has  time  to 
reach  f '  anything.  You  got  him  licked, 
suah." 

u  Well,  that  's  very  interesting,  but  I 
do  n't  expect  to  have  any  altercations  with 
colored  men." 

"I  don'  know,  seh.  You  can't  tell, 
misteh.  One  of  'em  fresh  ones  come  in 


PINK    MARSH 

State  street  cah  an'  set  down  in  yo'  lap  an' 
you  got  to  notice  him.  You  jus'  got  to 
do  it." 

The  morning  customer  made  no  re 
sponse.  In  a  few  moments  Pink  looked 
up  and  said  : 

"  Misteh,  ah  yo'  too  busy  mos'  all  time 
to  get  me  up  'notheh  letteh  ? " 

"  Who  is  it  this  time  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh  ;  'at  lady  I  tol'  you  'bout  one 
day  heah." 

"  I  remember.    What  was  her  name  ?  " 

"  Miss  Lo'ena  Jackson." 

"  No  relation  to  Peter,  eh  ? " 

"  No,  seh,  but  she  's  jus'  as  wahm." 

u  This  is  the  girl  who  expected  you  to 
buy  a  bicycle  for  her." 

"  'At 's  'e  one,  misteh.  She  's  been 
ridin*  'at  wheel  ev'y  night  'iss  winteh 
while  she  wuz  'sleep.  I  kind  o'  queeah 
myse'f  'ith  Lo'ena  'at  night  I  wuz  goin'  'o 
take  huh  to  'at  pahty  of  'em  Sons  an' 
Daughtehs  'o  Estheh.  No  use  talkin'; 
99 


PINK    MARSH 

I  need  one  of  'em  hot  lettehs  to  squaih  it. 
I  need  it  bad.  If  you  jus'  want  to  get  up 
someping  'at  '11  fix  'at  lady,  w'y,  you 
know  me,  seh.  I  'm  a  pusson  'at  'peciates 
any  good  deed  done  to  me,  an'  I  show  any 
consid'ation  possible." 

"  I  '11  think  it  over,"  said  the  morning 
customer,  dryly.  u  I  think  it  's  best  to 
keep  you  on  probation  for  a  while." 

"Well,  seh,  you  know  me,  seh,"  said 
Pink,  as  the  morning  customer  arose. 
"  I  gen'ally  try  to  be  man  among  men, 
and  you  '11  find  'at  my  p'obation  is  sutny 
all  right.  Good  mawnin',  seh." 


WILL  AHBUCKLE" 


On  Man's    Love   of  Power   and 
Dominion 

Now,  although,  tiie  '.morning  customer 
did  not  aspire  rd  become  private  secretary 


to  Pink,  combiurng 
with  his  continuous  task  as  oracle,  he  felt 
it  to  be  his  bounden  duty  to  compose  a 
letter  to  Miss  Lorena  Jackson.  He  did 
not  attempt  to  excuse  Pink's  conduct  on 
the  night  of  the  reception  given  by  the 
Sons  and  Daughters  of  Esther,  and  he 
admitted  to  himself  that  Pink  had  prac 
ticed  a  confidence  game  on  Miss  Jackson 
by  his  implied  promise  to  give  her  a 
bicycle.  Pink  was  not  worthy,  that 
seemed  certain,  and  yet  the  morning 
customer  forgave  him,  in  that  easy  charity 
which  enables  us  to  forgive  so  many  sins 
that  are  not  directly  against  us.  He  pre- 
101 


PINK    MARSH 

pared  a  letter,  and  when  he  had  concluded 
it,  he  smiled  brightly  to  himself,  for  he  be 
lieved  the  letter  to  be  one  of  the  best 
things  he  had  written. 

At  the  barber-shop  he  passed  the  solic 
itous  Mr.  Clifford  and  his  associates,  and 
climbed  to  the  throne,  whsre  he  waited. 

"  Can  you  tell  me  about  the  gentleman 
in  ctaxrg?  of  this  department?"  he  asked. 

"  Pink  !  "  shouted  Mr.  Adams. 

"  Yes,  seh  ;  right  heah,  seh,"  came  a 
voice  from  behind  the  morning  customer, 
and  Pink  emerged  from  the  corner  pocket, 
and  with  his  head  far  back  looked  at  the 
morning  customer  from  under  wavering 
eyelids. 

"  You  want  to  keep  awake,  there,"  said 
Mr.  Adams  very  sternly. 

u  Yes,  seh,"  replied  Pink  meekly,  with  a 
concealed  grin.  "  Good  mawnin',  misteh." 

"  Good  morning,  Mr.  Marsh.  Have 
you  got  time  to  do  a  little  something  to 
these  shoes  ?  " 

102 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Have  I  got  time  ?  Well,  you  know 
me,  misteh.  I  ain't  heah  to  ovehlook  no 
friend  o'  mine,  no,  seh." 

He  seated  himself  in  front  of  the  shoe 
on  the  foot-rest  and  asked  in  a  low  tone  : 
"  You  heah  Misteh  Adams  make  'at  wahm 
crack  at  me  ?  " 

u  Yes  ;  he  seems  to  be  full  of  authority 
this  morning." 

u  All  of  'em,  misteh  ;  ev'y  one  of  'em 
thinks  he  's  got  to  call  off  f '  me,  o'  else  I 
jus'  could  n'  get  along.  Misteh  Cliffo'd, 
he  's  boss  ;  Misteh  Adams,  he  's  sup'nten- 
den';  Misteh  Bahclay,  he  's  manageh,  an' 
'at  new  bahbeh,  he  's  fo'man.  Yes,  seh ; 
I  'm  wuhkin'  faw  fo'  men  heah.  Misteh 
Adams  got  to  get  back  at  somebody  'cuz 
his  wife  sutny  got  him  tame  down.  W'y, 
Mis'  Adams  come  down  heah  'bout  twice 
a  week  an'  shake  Misteh  Adams  down  f ' 
ev'y  cent  he  's  got.  Yes,  seh  ;  when  she 
gets  th'ough  'ith  him  he 's  so  clean  he 
don'  need  to  take  no  bath  faw  month.  Yes, 
103 


PINK    MARSH 

seh ;  he  see  huh  comin'  down  'em  staihs 
an'  he  kind  o'  tuhns  pale  an'  stahts  in  to 
hunt  faw  what  he  's  got.  She  won't  even 
leave  him  no  pinch  o'  change  f  cah  faih. 
He  got  to  touch  Misteh  Cliffo'd  to  get 
home.  'At  's  a  fac'." 

"  Well,  every  man  likes  to  give  orders 
to  some  one." 

"  Suah  thing,  misteh.  I  do  n'  caih  what 
'ese  bahbehs  say  to  me.  I  jus'  want  to 
stay  heah  till  'em  green  leaves  come  out, 
an'  'en  I  'm  goin'  'o  get  a  chain  o'  my  own 
somewheahs.  I  sutny  do  n'  like  to  split 
my  good  coin  'ith  no  white  man." 

"  Well,  as  I  Ve  told  you  a  dozen  times, 
if  you  want  to  get  into  business  for  your 
self,  you  must  begin  and  save  your  money." 

u  Yes,  seh;  jus'  you  watch  me.  If 
ev'ything  comes  good,  misteh,  'long  'bout 
nex'  August  I  '11  be  eatin'  watehmelon  an' 
smokin'  cigahs  when  'em  white  bahbehs 
is  settin'  'round  heah  fightin'  flies." 

" c  Hope  springs  eternal  in  the  human 
104 


A  LABOR  OF  LOVE 


PINK    MARSH 

breast;  man  never  is,  but  always  to  be, 
blest,'  "  observed  the  morning  customer. 

"  O,  I  guess  'at 's  pooh,  ain't  it?  'At 's 
bad  writin'.  Gi'  me  to  me  agen,  misteh. 
'At 's  one  I  want  to  pass  to  ol'  Gawge 
Lippincott." 

"  You  look  it  up  yourself.  You  can 
find  it  in  any  book  of  poetry." 

"  Hush,  man!  I  know  who  wrote  'at, 
an'  you  can't  make  me  believe  nothin'  else 
— no,  seh." 

"  Well,  who  wrote  it?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  know  who  done  it.  You 
done  it,  yo'se'f — ain't  'at  so?  " 

u  How  did  you  suspect  it? "  asked  the 
morning  customer,  laughing. 

"  Misteh,  you  can't  fool  me  all  'e  time. 
On'y  man  could  do  it.  What  is  it  — 
c  Hope  in  'e  human  breast '  ?  Goodness, 
if  I  could  jus'  toss  off  few  like  'at  I  'd 
have  some  of  'em  State  Street  rascals 
jumpin'  out  of  'e  windows." 

"  Speaking  of  your  social  affiliations, 
105 


PINK    MARSH 

have  you  succeeded  as  yet  in  effecting  a 
reconciliation  with  Miss  Jackson?  " 

Pink  looked  up,  and  his  big  eyes  were 
blinking  gravely.  But  the  morning  cus 
tomer  kept  a  straight  face.  It  served  his 
purpose  to  remain  calm  and  unconcerned 
when  he  was  hurling  these  big  words. 

Pink  chuckled  away  down  in  his  lungs 
as  he  folded  the  flannel. 

"  'At  Miss  Lo'ena  Jackson  use  me  jus' 
like  man  she  neveh  seen.  I  passed  huh  on 
'e  street  otheh  day,  an'  she  begin'  lookin' 
f '  some  one  at  secon'  sto'y  window.  She 
kep'  lookin'  at  'e  window,  an'  neveh  see 
me  at  all — jus'  gi'  me  'at  '  brush-by  '  sign, 
an'  no  mo'.  When  it  comes  to  playin' 
faw  huh,  misteh,  I  'm  jus'  a  deuce  in  a 
duhty  deck — 'at's  all." 

"  Do  you  think  you  could  reinstate  your 
self  in  her  affections  if  you  were  to  write 
to  her?  " 

"  Misteh,  she  's  keen.  Yes,  seh,  she  's 
took  a  lot  of  'at  co'n  f 'om  'em  cullud  boys, 
106 


PINK    MARSH 

an'  she  's  beginnin'  to  give  ev'y  man  'at 
bad  look  when  he  tells  huh  how  good  she 
is.  Misteh,  you  can't  feed  it  to  'em  f '- 
eveh.  No,  seh,  'ey  sutny  get  wise  afteh 
while." 

u  Did  n't  you  say  you  wanted  me  to  get 
up  a  letter  to  send  to  her?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  tell  you  one  thing — if  I  eveh 
land  'at  baby  back  on  'e  resehvation  I  jus' 
got  to  have  one  of  'em  wahm  lettehs  like 
you  sent  to  Misteh  Cliffo'd.  No  talk  'at  I 
can  swing  is  eveh  goin'  'o  move  'at  lady; 
no, seh." 

"  Well,  I  '11  tell  you,  Pink,  I  have  con 
cocted  an  epistle  here  which  may  act  as  a 
solvent  on  her  heart.  I  '11  read  it  to  you, 
and  if  you  think  it  's  all  right,  you  can 
send  it." 

u  All  right,  misteh  ?  All  right  ?  It  jus' 
could  n'  he'p  but  be  all  right.  Watch  out 
faw  'em  white  bahbehs.  If  'ey  see  you 
readin*  'at,  ev'y  one  of  'em  's  goin'  'o  rub- 
beh,  suah." 

107 


PINK    MARSH 

"  You  do  n't  want  them  to  hear  it,  eh?  " 
"  Goodness,  misteh!     I  should  say  not. 

I   got   trouble    'nough   heah   now   'ithout 

havin'  all  'ese  smaht  boys  askin'  me  'bout 

'at  guhl  ev'y  ten  minutes.1' 

"  All  right.     I  '11  read  it  low.     Are  you 

ready?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  can't  heah  it  too  soon/' 
The  morning  customer  made  sure  that 

the  barbers  were  out  of  hearing  distance. 

They  were   bunched   at   the  other  end  of 

the  room,  talking  about  things  to  eat. 
He  leaned  over  and  read,  and  during 

the  reading  Pink  was  so  absorbed  that  he 

simply   rubbed   the    shoe   in   a   slow    and 

absent-minded  way. 

"To  Miss  Jackson,  the  Hebe  of  her  Sex. 

"  My  Dearest  Miss  Jackson:  Seated  hereto- 
day,  in  my  boudoir,  my  thoughts  revert  to  these 
beautiful  lines: 

'*  'You  may  break,  you  may  shatter 

The  vase,   if  you  will, 
But  the  scent  of  the  roses 
Will  cling  round  it  still.' 

108 


"OSCAH  WELLINGTON11 


PINK    MARSH 

"  You  may  project  me  into  ethereal  space, 
Miss  Jackson,  but  you  cannot  induce  me  to 
forget  those  whilom  hours  when  you  and  I  were 
wont  to 

«  t  *     *     *     breathe  out  the  tale 
Beneath  the  milk-white  thorn.' 

"  I  have  been  meditating  to-day  upon  the 
cruelties  of  Fate.  Only  a  few  days  ago  we 
were  bound  together  by  the  reciprocal  bonds  of 
Love's  young  dream.  To-day  you  scorn  the 
sable  Lothario  who,  figuratively  speaking,  pros 
trates  himself  at  the  shrine  of  Beauty  and  begs 
the  slight  meed  of  forgiveness,  even  if  he  can 
never  again  bask  in  the  dazzling  effulgence  of 
your  incandescent  society.  Something  tells  me 
that  a  dark  cloud  has  come  between  us.  Who 
can  it  be  that  would  seek  to  uproot  the  budding 
tendrils  of  Platonic  love  and  plant  in  place 
thereof  the  noxious  weeds  of  venomous  hatred? 
Surely  these  words  will  convey  to  your  suscep 
tible  woman's  heart  some  approximate  concep 
tion  of  the  mental  anguish  which  racks  my  sturdy 
frame.  The  birds,  sweet  harbingers  of  spring, 
will  soon  be  disporting  themselves  in  the  trees, 
ever  and  anon  bursting  forth  into  joyous  melody. 
109 


PINK    MARSH 

"  '  Come,  gentle  spring, 
Ethereal  mildness,  come.' 

"In  fancy  I  had  pictured  many  glad  days 
during  this  period  of  the  earth's  awakening.  I 
had  thought  that  we  would  go  forth  beside  the 
babbling  brook  and  listen  to  the  soughing  wind 
whisper  its  message  to  our  eager  souls.  I 
await  a  token  which  will  bring  me,  palpita 
ting  with  love,  to  make  amends  for  all  the  sad 
and  bitter  past.  I  beg  to  subscribe  myself, 
very  apologetically," 

Pink  made  motions  with  his  hands,  as 
if  he  were  recovering  consciousness. 

u  'At 's  'e  wahmest  eveh  !'  he  exclaimed. 
"  Misteh,  you  send  'at  to  Miss  Lo'ena 
Jackson  an'  she  '11  be  wuhkin'  on  it  a  yeah 
f'om  now.  Yes,  seh,  she  '11  be  settin'  up 
nights  spellin'  out  'em  long  ones." 

"You  will  observe  that  I  said  nothing 
about  your  being  intoxicated  on  the  night 
when  you  should  have  taken  her  to  the 
party,"  said  the  morning  customer,  folding 
the  letter. 

"  O,  I  guess  you  ain't  wise,  neetheh  ! 
no 


PINK    MARSH 

Misteh,  I  neveh  could  n'  'splain  to  huh 
'bout  'at  night  I  got  good  on  gin  an'  honey. 
You  done  right.  Jus'  let  'at  go.  Wait  '11 
she  gets  'at  letteh.  My  goodness,  misteh  ! 
She  '11  be  waitin'  out  on  'em  cah  tracks 
faw  me  to  get  home." 

Pink  took  hold  of  the  letter  as  if  it  were 
an  explosive.  He  promised  to  mail  it 
immediately. 


On   Revenge 

u  Misteh,  I  'm  a  good  ol  wagon,  but  I 
done  broke  down,  jus'  like  it  says  in  'at 
song,"  began  Pink  Marsh. 

"  What 's  the  matter  now?  " 

"You  know  'at  letteh  you  got  up  faw 
me  to  sen'  to  Miss  Lo'ena  Jackson." 

"  Yes.     Did  you  send  it?  " 

u  'At 's  what  I  done,  misteh,  an'  it  was 
too  good.  Yes,  seh,  it  was  so  high  she 
could  n'  reach  it." 

"  You  seemed  to  think  that  letter  was 
going  to  placate  her." 

"  Yes,  seh,  I  kind  o'  s'posed  she  'uz 
wahm  enough  to  'peciate  suah-thing  letteh, 
but  I  'm  tellin'  you  she  do  n'  know  yet 
what  'at  letteh 's  about.  I  'm  done  'ith  'at 
lady.  She  mus'  n'  come  neah  me  no  mo'.  I 

112 


3. 


GRANT  WILLIAMS 


PINK    MARSH 

jus'  hope  huh  an'  'at  Gawge  Lippincott  gets 
mah'ied,'cuz  I  can  see  him  out  stealin'  coal 
right  now.  'At  Gawge  Lippincott  wants 
to  keep  in  nights,  too,  misteh.  Ev'y  night 
he  wants  to  lock  'e  dooh  an'  go  to  bed, 
'cuz  I  tell  you  he  ain't  safe.  If  he  eveh 
gets  on  'e  same  street  'ith  me,  I  'm  li'ble  to 
cloud  up  an*  rain  on  him.  Yes,  seh,  people 
be  pickin'  up  dahk  meat  all  oveh  'e  South 
Side." 

u  Well,  well,  you  are  warlike  this  morn- 
ing." 

"  He  's  'e  one  'at  done  it,  misteh.  He 
tol'  huh  ev'ything  he  knows  'bout  me.  Yes, 
seh,  he  's  been  knockin'  good  an'  plenty, 
an'  if  he  ain't  caihful  I  '11  fly  down  an' 
bite  a  piece  out  o'  him.  When  I  get 
th'ough  'ith  him,  people  come  up  an'  say, 
'  My  goodness,  'at  ain't  Gawge  Lippin 
cott,'  an'  'en  'ey  all  go  to  lookin'  faw  his 
face." 

"  Well,  I  hope  it  will  not  be  as  serious 
as  that,"  said  the  morning  customer. 


PINK    MARSH 

"  What 's  the  matter?  Did  n't  the  girl 
answer  the  letter?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  misteh;  she  sent  answeh,  an' 
she  did  n'  do  thing  to  Misteh  William 
Pinckney  Mahsh,  neetheh.  W'y,  misteh, 
I  could  read  Gawge  Lippincott  in  'at  let- 
teh  jus'  same  as  if  his  pickchah  on  it.  Yes, 
seh,  misteh,  'ey  '11  be  a  fune'al  on  Ahmoh 
Av'nue,  an'  oP  Gawge  Lippincott  won't 
heah  no  music.  'At 's  right,  seh.  I  'm 
a  man  among  men,  an'  when  any  punkin- 
cullud  houn'  goes  suhculatin'  'roun'  spoilin' 
my  cha'cteh,  his  friends  want  to  begin 
speakin'  faw  caih'ages  right  away,  'cuz  'ey 
got  to  make  a  trip  to  'at  graveyahd,  suah." 

"  What  did  she  say  in  the  letter?  " 

Pink  turned  around  to  see  if  the  white 
barbers  were  watching  him,  and  then  he 
drew  a  crumpled  envelope  from  his  hip 
pocket  and  passed  it  up  to  the  morning 
customer. 

The  letter  had  been  written  with  pencil 
and  was  blurred  and  smeary,  but  the 
114 


PINK    MARSH 

morning  customer  made  it  out   to  be  as 
follows : 

"  MR.  MARSH,  ESQ.  Dear  Sir:  Probly 
you  think  you  can  cause  me  to  feel  diferent 
about  the  eve  when  you  was  to  be  my  company 
at  the  ball  which  is  not  so.  Oh  I  think  you 
had  better  try  to  write  one  more  letter  and  then 
stop  it  is  not  because  I  wanted  to  go  with  you 
as  it  is  not  the  case  you  know  that  I  have 
gentelmen  friends  who  do  not  get  so  drunk 
when  they  are  to  take  you  that  evry  one  hears 
about  it  Ha,  Ha,  so  you  see  I  know  a  sertain 
persen  said  Oh  why  do  you  waist  a  2  cent 
stamp  on  him  but  I  said  to  let  him  know  he 
ain't  so  smart  after  all.  Yours  truely, 

"  LORENA  JACKSON." 

When  the  morning  customer  had  fin 
ished  reading,  he  shook  his  head,  choked 
down  an  inclination  to  laugh,  and  said  : 
"  Well,  Pink,  she  is  certainly  a  wonder." 

Pink  looked  up  and  caught  the  morning 
customer  grinning,  and  then  he  began  to 
laugh. 

"  Misteh,    'at    guhl    ain'    got    no    mo* 


PINK    MARSH 

ej 'cation  'an  'at  stove  oveh  theah,"  he 
said.  u  She  can  jus'  put  on  one  of 
'em  regulah  Mis'  Potteh  Palmeh  fronts 
when  it  comes  to  settin'  up  an'  talkin', 
but  when  you  make  huh  put  it  down  on 
papeh,  w'y,  you  got  'uh  lost,  suah.  'Em 
wuhds  ain't  right,  ah  they,  misteh  ?  " 

u  Some  of  them  might  be  improved 
upon." 

"  Look  at  'at  letteh  !  Looks  like  some 
one  been  th'owin'  coal  dust  at  'e  papeh." 

"  She  certainly  conveys  the  impression 
that  you  are  persona  non  grata" 

"  O,  man  !  'At 's  a  new  one,  suah  ! 
'At 's  faw'eign,  ain't  it  ?  Wha'  's  'e  def 
inition  ? " 

"  Well,  it  means  that  you  're  not  in  it." 

"  'At 's  right,  misteh.  I  might  jus' 
well  teah  up  my  tickets  now,  but  I  'm 
goin'  o'  be  good  loseh.  I  make  no  holleh, 
misteh.  She  'uz  neveh  mo  'n  thuhty  to 
one  shot  noways,  an'  I  on'y  played  couple 
o'  dollahs  on  'uh." 

116 


PINK    MARSH 

"  You  never  gave  her  that  bicycle  you 
promised,  then,  did  you  ?  " 

Pink  stopped  work  and  spluttered  with 
mirth.  Then  he  said  :  "  Misteh,  it  ain'  no 
good  way  to  do.  It  ain't  right  to  fool  'em 
'at  way,  no,  seh.  Lo'ena  lose  huh  wheel 
now,  suah.  I  '11  have  to  use  'at  bike  sto'y 
on  some  otheh  lady.  Lo'ena  ain't  'e  on'y 
good  thing  on  Deahbohn  Street.  'Ey  '11 
be  many  a  wahm  child  standin'  at  'e  front 
gate  an*  waitin'  P  Misteh  Mahsh  nex' 
summeh.  I  'm  like  'at  boy  in  'e  oct'oon 
show.  '  All  coons  looks  alike  to  me.'  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  that 's  a  song.  I  think  I  've 
heard  it." 

"  Yes,  an'  'at 's  a  pooh  one,  too.  'At 's 
bad.  Le's  see — '  O,  all ' — no,  'at 's  too 
high.  c  All  coons  looks' — 'at 's 'bout 
right." 

With  his  eyes  dreamily  half-closed,  Pink 
sang  as  follows,  using  the  soft  pedal : 
"  All  a-coons  looks  alike  to  me; 
I  got  a  new  beau,  you  see, 
117 


PINK    MARSH 

An'  he  's-a  jus'  as  good  to  me 

As  you,  niggeh,  eveh  daihed  to  be, 

He  's  sutny  a-good  to  me; 

He  spen's  his-a  money  free. 

I  do  n'  like  you  a-nohow  ; 

All-a  coons  looks  alike  to  me." 

tc  You  have  quite  a  voice,"  said  the 
morning  customer. 

u  Hush,  misteh,  you  did  n'  know  I  be 
long  to  'at  Elect'ic  Quahtette.  My  good 
ness  !  Me  an'  Grant  Williams  an'  Oscah 
Wellington  an'  Fred  Bahnett.  Oh-h-h, 
when  we  hit  'at  sassy  chohd  in  c  Fv'nin' 
by  Moonlight,'  wheah  it  comes, c  'Ey  would 
set  all  night  an'  listen-n-n-n ' — I  guess  'at 's 
bad.  We  get  in  a  minoh  'at  'd  coax  a 
buhd  out  of  a  cage.  You  ought  to  see 
Fred  use  'at  guitah.  Yes,  seh,  he  sutny 
does  things  to  it.  Yes,  seh,  we  sung  in  'e 
campaign — on'y  one  night  we  got  too  fah 
west.  Cullud  man  got  no  business  goin' 
on  otheh  side  of  'e  riveh.  We  all  went 
oveh  to  meetin'  on  'e  Wes'  Side  an'  sing 
118 


PINK    MARSH 

'em  wahm  'publican  songs,  an'  we  'uz 
good.  We  did  n'  think  it,  misteh — we 
knowed  it.  We  knowed  'ey  wuz  none 
betteh.  Jus'  we  come  out,  misteh,  bing  ! 
brickbat  right  th'ough  oF  Fred  Bahnett's 
guitah.  Mo  'n  a  thousan'  I'ishmen  afteh 
us,  misteh  ;  'at  's  right.  You  talk  'bout 
cullud  men  havin'  bad  feet;  you  ought  to 
see  us  run  'at  night — Mahsh  in  'e  lead, 
Wellington  close  secon',  Williams  and 
Bahnett  neck-an'-neck,  two  lengths  be 
hind.  We  broke  all  recohds — we  had  to 
do  it.  You  think  'ey  eveh  get  us  back 
on  'e  Wes'  Side  ?  Huh-uh  !  We  know 
ouah  business." 

"  You  've  got  as  much  right  over  there 
as  any  one  has." 

u  Co'se  !  Suah  !  But  we  ain'  goin' 
oveh  no  mo'  when  'em  people's  all  het  up 
'bout  pol'tics.  'At 's  like  'e  cullud  man 
oveh  in  'e  jail.  His  lawyeh  comes  in  to 
see  him,  an'  he  says  to  'e  cullud  man, 
1  'Ey  can't  put  you  in  jail  faw  what  you 
119 


PINK    MARSH 

done,'  an'  Je  cullud  man  says,  '  I  know  'ey 
can't,  Misteh  Lawyeh,  but  I  'm  in  heah 
jus'  'e  same.'  'At  's  'e  way  'ith  us, 
misteh.  We  got  mo'  rights  'an  anybody, 
but  it  sutny  ain't  safe  to  use  'em." 


GAWGE1' 


On  Independence  in  Politics 

About  a  week  after  the  morning  cus 
tomer  had  read  the  letter  from  Miss  Lor- 
ena  Jackson,  he  made  another  visit  to  Mr. 
Clifford's,  shop.  Pink  was  very  happy 
and  explained  that  as  soon  as  he  had  paid 
off  a  few  small  debts  he  expected  to  open 
an  account  in  a  savings  bank.  When  he 
had  finished  cleaning  the  morning  custom 
er's  shoes,  preparatory  to  spreading  the 
first  layer  of  dressing,  a  tall  negro  came 
down  the  stairway  and  put  his  head  in  at 
the  door. 

"  Misteh  Mahsh  heah  ?  "  he  asked. 

Mr.  Clifford,  the  potentate  of  the  shop, 
was  rubbing  a  quinine  tonic  into  the  thin 
fuzz  belonging  to  a  fat  man  whose  jowls 
lapped  down  on  the  napkin  and  whose 
eyes  were  wide  open  from  the  zest  of  the 
121 


PINK    MARSH 

occasion.     At  brief  intervals  he  groaned 

*  fe 

with  enjoyment,  for  it  is  a  fact  that  having 
one's  head  rubbed  is  a  pure  and  noble 
pleasure  on  which  the  gods  have  set  no 
high  price.  Between  these  groans  the  fat 
man  advanced  his  views  on  the  subject  of 
tariff  legislation.  Every  opinion  was 
warmly  seconded  by  Mr.  Clifford,  who 
was  fully  able  to  think  tariff  and  rub  the 
fat  man's  head,  both  at  the  same  time. 

The  interruption  of  the  tariff  discussion 
seemed  to  annoy  Mr.  Clifford.  He  did 
not  condescend  to  answer  the  question  put 
to  him.  He  simply  made  an  inclination 
of  the  head  toward  the  remote  corner  in 
which  Pink  and  the  morning  customer 
were  having  their  quiet  session. 

"  Good  mawning,  Pink," said  the  visitor, 
advancing  briskly,  and  trailing  a  small 
bamboo  cane  on  the  floor. 

"  How  do,  Gawge,"  replied  Pink,  as  he 
looked  up  at  the  visitor,  and  then,  through 
some  mysterious  influence  which  directs 
122 


PINK    MARSH 

the  happiness  of  Afro-American  souls, 
both  of  them  began  to  shake  with  laughter. 

The  so-called  "  Gawge "  was  rather 
tan-colored.  A  small  allotment  of  freckles 
gave  his  face  a  rusty  tinge,  while  the  kinks 
of  his  hair  and  mustache  were  touched 
with  auburn.  He  wore  a  high  stiff  hat 
with  a  narrow  rim,  a  suit  of  navy  blue, 
which  had  become  spotted  black  here  and 
there  by  usage,  and  the  morning  customer 
made  particular  note  of  his  scarfpin,  which 
was  a  large  owl's  head,  carved  of  bone  and 
having  knobby  glass  eyes. 

u  I  s'pose  you  know  'bout  ouah  goin'  to 
puhfeck  an  ohganization  to-night,"  said 
"  Gawge." 

"  'At  meetin',  you  mean  ?  "  asked  Pink. 

u  It 's  'specially  desiahed  by  Misteh 
Milleh  'at  we  get  a  good  'tendance  at  Mc- 
Cahty's  Hall  to-night.  You  be  suah  an' 
come  an'  exuht  yo'  infloonce  to  get  all  'e 
boys  out.  It 's  goin'  to  be  called  'Milleh 
In'epen'en'  Cullud  Votehs  League.'  I  'm 
123 


PINK    MARSH 

sec'eta'y,  an'  nachu'lly  I  feel  'sponsible. 
Misteh  Milleh  re'lizes  ouah  infloonce  an' 
he  's  goin'  to  be  ve'y  lib'al." 

"  Yes,  seh,  Gawge,  I  '11  be  on  hand." 

"  Well,  I  got  to  be  goin'  oveh  county 
buildin'  an'  see  a  gem'man.  Smoke  a 
cigah,  Pink  ?  " 

So  saying,  u  Gawge  "  drew  a  very  pale 
cigar  from  his  pocket  and  handed  it  to 
Pink,  and  then  he  went  out,  still  trailing 
his  cane  over  the  tiling. 

"Who's  that — a  friend  of  yours  ?" 
asked  the  morning  customer. 

"  Who,  him  ?  He  's  'e  boy  'at  stahted 
pol'tics.  He  's  'e  one  'at  says  who  is  an' 
who  ain't.  Did  you  kind  o'  notice  how 
he  flash  in  an'  flash  out  ?  He  knows  mo' 
'bout  pol'tics  'an  Gen'al  Grant  eveh  did. 
When  ol'  Gawge  dies  'ey  won't  be  no  mo' 
pol'tics,  no  seh." 

"What's  his  name?" 

"  'At  's  'e  on'y   Gawge   'at  eveh   hap 
pened  —  Gawge  Lippincott." 
124 


"GUS  MILLEH  >: 


PINK    MARSH 

"  George  Lippincott  ?  Why,  he  's  the 
man  you  were  going  to  kill,  is  n'  he  ?  " 

"  Look  at  him,  misteh.  I  could  n'  kill 
good  thing  like  'at." 

u  Why,  it  was  n't  a  week  ago  that  you 
told  me  that  the  first  time  you  saw  him 
you  intended  to  annihilate  him  —  simply 
slaughter  him  in  cold  blood." 

Pink  chuckled  aloud  and  wagged  his 
head  knowingly.  "  Mus  n'  kill  Gawge 
now,"  he  said.  u  We  both  eatin'  out  of 
'e  same  pan,  yes,  seh.  I  'uz  goin'  'o  do 
Gawge  mo*  hahm  'an  any  man  eveh  had 
done  to  him,  but  's  no  use  now,  misteh. 
Gawge  is  wheah  I  am  now.  'At  Lo'ena 
Jackson  toss  him  a  mile  higheh  'an  she 
give  it  to  me.  She  got  a  new  face  in  'e 
pahlah  now,  suah.  Gawge  an'  me  's 
shahpenin'  razahs  on  'e  same  hone  'iss 
week.  Hen'y  Clahk  's  'e  man  'at  's  got 
to  be  took  off  'e  map.  He  's  'e  hot  papa 
oveh  at  Lo'ena's  house  'iss  week." 


125 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  Mr.  Lippin- 
cott  has  received  his  conge  ?  " 

"  No,  seh,  I  do  n'  know  'bout  no  con- 
jay,  but  he  sutny  got  'e  mahble  h'aht  f  om 
little  Miss  Lo'ena.  She  can'  no  mo'  see 
wheah  he  comes  in  now  an'  if  he  'd  neveh 
been.  Yes,  seh,  she  fawgets  wheah  she 
met  him.  She  do  n't  even  know  his  name. 
W'y,  misteh,  if  me  an'  ol'  Gawge  go  up 
'e  street  togetheh  an'  she  meet  us,  she 
say,  '  My  goodness  !  Town  's  jus'  full  o' 
strangehs  to-day.'  'At 's  how  well  she 
likes  us,  misteh." 

"  How  did  Mr.  Lippincott  happen  to 
lose  his  standing?  " 

"  Hen'y  Clahk  done  it.  Hen'y  's  swell 
lookeh  an'  got  a  con  talk  'at  'd  win  most 
any  lady.  He  's  po'teh  on  Pullman  cah, 
an'  he  jus'  land  in  heah  otheh  day  Pom 
long  piece  o'  wuhk  in  p'ivate  cah — been 
way  out  West.  You  know,  misteh,  pahty 
o'  white  gem'men  out  in  cah  'at  way  gen'- 
ally  ve'y  lib'al  'ith  a  po'teh  'at  knows  how 
126 


PINK    MARSH 

to  use  'em.  I  guess  Hen'y  ain't  smooth 
o'  nothin',  neetheh!  Goodness,  misteh, 
he  can  brush  a  man  an'  bow  an'  say  '  Ev'y- 
thing  sa'sfacto'y,  seh? '  an'  'e  man  jus'  got 
to  hand  him  money.  Pahty  out  two  o' 
three  weeks  like  'at,  an'  when  'ey  come  in 
ev'y  gem'man  give  'e  po'teh  much  as 
five  o'  ten  dollahs  'piece.  OP  Hen'y  land 
in  heah  'ith  a  roll  'at  made  me  an'  Gawge 
Lippincott  look  like  a  couple  o'  dahk  lob- 
stehs.  Money  in  ev'y  pocket,  misteh; 
p'fume'y  on  his  cloze,  an'  smokin'  'at  long 
kind  'at  you  neveh  get  f  no  nickel — no, 
seh.  He  meet  Lo'ena  an'  say,  c  Miss 
Jackson,  may  I  espec'  'e  honah  of  givin' 
you  some  soda-wateh? '  o'  someping  like  'at, 
an'  'en  he  flash  'at  bundle  o'  papeh  money. 
Oh-h-h-h,  I  guess  not!  I  s'pose  she  did  n* 
nail  him!  Wha'  d'  you  s'pose,  misteh? 
OP  Hen'y  loosens  up  an'  buys  huh  watch. 
Gawge  Lippincott  go  'round  'at  ev'nin'  to 
see  huh,  an'  she  send  out  wuhd  'at  if  he 
do  n'  go  'way  she  '11  set  'e  dogs  on  him. 
127 


PINK    MARSH 

Gawge  can  feed  'em  nice  talk,  misteh,  but 
he  sutny  went  into  'e  fence  soon  as 
Hen'y  showed  up  an'  begin  to  make  good 
'ith  his  coin.  Lo'ena  's  like  all  of 'em,  mis 
teh;  she  's  lookin'  faw  'e  boy  'at  '11  let  go 
f  theatehs  an'  jew'lery.  When  Hen'y 
give  up  'at  goP  watch,  'at  'uz  when  Gawge 
Lippincott  splosh  into  'e  mud.  He  '11 
luhn,  misteh,  he  '11  luhn.  I  'm  jus'  waitin' 
faw  Hen'y  Clahk's  finish  now.  Jus'  soon 
as  he  uses  las'  strippeh  of  'at  roll  an'  do  n' 
put  up  nothin'  'cept  sayin'  how  he  loves 
huh,  she  '11  find  out  'at  he  ain't  propeh 
comp'ny,  an'  ol'  Hen'y  '11  be  out  on  'e 
road  makin'  up  loweh  seven  and  guessin' 
why." 

"  I  'm  afraid  you  're  a  pessimist  as  re 
gards  the  gentle  sex." 

"I'm  wuhse  'an  'at,  misteh.  I'm 
an  Ind'an  on  'iss  heah  guhl  game.  I  won't 
stan'  f  nothin'  no  mo'." 

"  Well,  I  must  say  that  you  and  Mr. 
Lippincott  are  bearing  up  very  bravely 
128 


PINK    MARSH 

under  your  affliction.  Mr.  Lippincott 
seems  to  be  rinding  surcease  from  his  grief 
in  the  exciting  field  of  politics." 

"  Misteh,  I  wish  you  'd  used  someping 
like  'at  when  Gawge  'uz  in  heah.  Gawge 
thinks  he  's  ve'y  strong  on  'em  big  wuhds, 
an'  I  jus'  like  to  steeh  him  'genst  some 
one  'at  could  make  him  look  foolish.  Did 
you  heah  'e  kind  he  'uz  passin'  to  me  in 
heah?  " 

"  Yes,  he  seemed  to  be  quite  a  talker." 
u  He  's  a  wahm  talkeh,  an'  'at 's  all  he 
can  do,  misteh.  Gawge  thinks  he 's  'e 
whole  thing  in  pol'tics  out  in  ouah  wahd, 
an'  nobody  likes  to  wake  him  up.  He  's 
goin'  'o  make  Gus  Milleh  aldehman  — 
'at 's  what  he  told  Misteh  Milleh,  an'  Mis 
teh  Milleh  he  thinks  'at  Gawge  got  'e 
whole  cullud  vote  inside  of  'at  blue  vest. 
I  know  betteh.  If  Gus  Milleh  wants  to 
land  me  he  betteh  come  an'  see  me  him- 
se'f.  What  he  does  faw  ol'  Gawge  Lip 
pincott  ain't  helpin'  me  none — no,  seh. 
129 


PINK    MARSH 

Cullud  man 's  'e  real  thing  'long  'bout 
spring  'lection,  an*  any  man  'at  gets  me  to 
holle'in'  faw  him  has  sutny  got  to  use  me 
good.  Gawge  Lippincott  do  n't  own  no 
body  but  himse'f.  I  '11  smoke  oP  Gavvge's 
cigars  'at  Gus  Milleh  pays  faw,  but  when 
it  comes  to  castin'  my  ballot,  seh,  as  an 
Ameh'can  cit'zen,  Gawge  Lippincott  an' 
no  otheh  cullud  man  goin'  'o  tell  me  how 
to  vote — no,  seh.  I  'm  faw  any  man  'at 
does  'e  most  faw  me — yes,  seh." 


On  the  Selection  of  Apparel 

u  O,  man  !  I  guess  you  picked  'at  out  o' 
some  ash-bah'el!"  exclaimed  Pink  Marsh 
as  the  morning  customer  seated  himself  on 
the  throne  and  spread  the  new  spring  over 
coat  so  that  he  would  not  sit  on  it. 

"  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  O, 
I  see  —  the  coat.  Is  it  all  right  ?  " 

"  No,  seh,  it 's  bad  —  all  ragged  'roun' 
'e  edges,  do  n't  fit  in  back.  'At  's  a  pooh 
coat.  Goodness  !  Do  n'  eveh  take  it  off 
when  yo'  in  heah,  'cuz  if  you  do,  you  lose 
it  to  me.  I  jus'  need  one  of  'em  shawt 
cream-cullud  boys  to  make  me  good.  I 
do  n't  steal,  misteh,  but  I  sutny  could  use 
'at  coat." 

"  Well,  I  'm  glad  you  like  it.  It 's 
always  a  satisfaction  to  have  one  's  dress 


PINK    MARSH 

approved  by  a  gentleman  of  taste  and  dis 
crimination." 

u  Hush,  man,  do  n't  lift  me  too  high. 
It  ain't  ev'y  cullud  boy  'at  gets  'at  lang'age 
used  on  him,  is  it  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,  that  is  a  special  eulogium." 

"  I  jus'  see  'at  one  when  it  go  past  me. 

'Logeum'  —  'logeum'  —  misteh,  you  got  a 

new  one  to  toss  at  me  ev'y  time  you  come 

in  heah,  an'  none  of  'em  ain't  so  wuhse. 

'At  's  a  fact,  seh.     Some  is  wahmeh  'an 

othehs,  but  ev'y  one  of  'em  smokes." 

"  That  is  very   kind  of  you  to  say  so." 

"  I  guess  you  do  n'  know   how  to   use 

cullud     pusson     good,     neetheh.        W'y, 

misteh,  some  days  afteh  you  come  in  heah 

an'  give  me  'at  kind  o'  convehsation,  I  feel 

'at   if  I   had   mo'  ej'cation  I  would  n'  be 

rubbin'  no  man's  shoes,  no,  seh.     I  'd  be 

lawyeh  o'  someping  like  'at." 

u  Well,   do  n't  you    worry   too   much. 
You  're  probably  doing  more  business  than 
half  of  the  lawyers." 
132 


'LONZO'1 


PINK    MARSH 

"  'At 's  all  right,  misteh,  but  I  'd  like  to 
be  one  of  'em  boys  'at  gets  up  an'  says, 
4  Misteh  judge  an*  gem'men  of  'iss  ju'y, 
it  is  p'ivilege  faw  me  to  'peciate  yo'  'ten- 
tion  in  regahds  to  'iss  subjec'  an'  to — " 

"  Well,  do  n't  forget  that  you  are  sup 
posed  to  be  shining  those  shoes,"  said  the 
morning  customer. 

Pink  had  become  so  interested  in  his 
majestic  impersonation  of  the  lawyer  ad 
dressing  the  jury  that  he  had  laid  down 
his  brushes,  put  one  hand  on  his  chest, 
and  extended  the  other  in  a  sweeping 
gesture. 

When  the  morning  customer  interrupted 
his  speech,  he  suddenly  collapsed  into 
laughter  and  rocked  about  on  his  stool, 
until  the  morning  customer,  who  seldom 
gave  way  to  mirth,  began  to  chuckle  out 
of  sympathy. 

Pink  returned  to  his  work  on  the  shoe, 
but  he  was  still  seized  with  occasional 
spasms  of  laughter,  and  the  big  yellow- 


PINK    MARSH 

white  balls  of  his  eyes  were  wet  with 
genuine  tears. 

"  It 's  rather  warm  in  here  this  morn 
ing,"  observed  the  morning  customer, 
after  Pink  had  simmered  down  to  his 
normal  gravity,  u  but  I  'm  afraid  to  take 
off  this  coat  after  what  you  said." 

"  It  's  all  right  if  you  watch  it,  misteh, 
but  you  sutny  mus*  watch  it.  I  on'y  got 
one  kick  comin'  on  'at  coat,  misteh." 

"  Yes  —  and  what  's  that  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  if  yo'  goin'  'o  kill  'em  dead, 
you  ought  to  have  some  of  'at  satin  down 
'e  front.  'Lonzo  Williams,  down  on 
Twent'-sevem  Street,  got  one  of 'em  satin 
kind,  so  wahm  it  melts  snow  right  off  'e 
sidewalk  when  'e  v/alks  past.  People  got 
to  put  on  'em  smoked  glasses  to  look  at  oF 
'Lonzo  when  he  comes  out  'ith  'at  coat, 
suah.  Yes,  seh,  it 's  kind  o'  cullah  of 
cana'y  buhd,  all  'cept  down  'e  front,  an' 
theah  it  's  blue  satin.  Oh-h-h-h,  I  guess 
it  ain't  wahm  o'  nothin'  !  Got  puhl  but- 
134 


PINK    MARSH 

tons  'bout  'e  size  of  five-cent  pie.  'Lonzo 
come  'long  Ahmoh  Av'nue  'ith  'at  coat  on, 
an'  you  see  'em,  old  an'  young,  misteh, 
leavin'  theah  homes  to  follow  him.  Yes, 
seh,  he  got  to  tuhn  'round  an*  yell  at  'em 
to  make  'em  go  back  in  'e  houses  and 
leave  him  alone.  Yes,  seh,  ol'  'Lonzo 
put  'e  price  o'  many  a  shave  into  'at 
coat." 

"  Why  don't  you  get  one  like  it,  if  it 
gives  a  man  such  a  standing  ?  " 

"  My  goodness,  misteh!  'em  coats  do  n' 
grow  on  bushes.  No,  seh,  you  sutny  got 
to  wave  money  in  front  of  a  tailah  befo'  he 
hands  you  anything  like  'at.  W'y  do  n't 
I  get  one  !  I  can  jus'  answeh  questions 
like  'at  all  day.  Ask  me  some  mo'.  Ask 
me  why  I  do  n'  buy  'at  Lake-Front  Pahk 
an'  move  it  out  on  Deahbohn  Street. 
Misteh,  I  could  n'  even  buy  one  of  'em 
sassy  buttons." 

"  Well,  you  know  what  I  Ve  been  tell 
ing  you  for  three  months.  Save  your 
US 


PINK    MARSH 

money.  Put  away  a  little  something  every 
week,  and  you  '11  be  surprised  to  find  how 
it  accumulates." 

"  'At 's  no  lie,  misteh,  what  you  tellin' 
me  now.  I  '11  be  sup'ised,  suah  'nough,  if 
I  eveh  find  any  money  'cumulatin'  in  my 
cloze.  I  thought  Misteh  McKinley  get  in 
down  at  Washin'ton  kind  o'  move  mat- 
tehs  some  —  kind  o'  push  a  little  coin 
towahds  me,  but  do  n'  seem  to,  seh." 

w  Well,  of  course,  if  you  go  and  play 
your  money  against  policy,  McKinley 
can't  help  you  any.  What  did  you  count 
on  ?  Did  you  think  that  after  McKin 
ley  got  in  he  'd  send  you  some  money 
every  week  ?  The  only  way  in  which 
McKinley  could  help  you  would  be  to 
come  here  and  have  his  shoes  shined." 

"Well,  co'se,  misteh,  I  did  n'  'spect  to 
get  anything  'less  I  went  out  faw  it,  but  I 
'uz  hopin'  I  'd  have  mo'  luck  afteh  Misteh 
McKinley  got  to  be  presiden'." 

"  Yes,  you  probably  thought  he  might 
136 


WAHMEST   EVEH  " 


PINK    MARSH 

help  you  catch  something  at  policy.  Sup 
pose  you  aid  win  twenty,  thirty,  or  even 
fifty  dollars  at  policy.  What  good  would 
it  do  you  ?  You  'd  go  out  to  spend  the 
money,  and  the  chances  are  that  you  'd  lose 
your  job  here.  Then  where  would  you 
be  ?  You  'd  be  out  of  money  and  out  of  a 
job.  I  suppose  you  'd  come  around  to  me 
again  and  want  me  to  write  another  letter 
to  Mr.  Clifford  to  get  you  back  into  this 
job." 

Pink  listened  seriously  enough  until  the 
morning  customer  had  concluded,  and  then 
he  shook  his  head  and  gave  way  to  internal 
laughter.  He  made  no  sound,  but  his 
shoulders  lifted  now  and  then.  He  looked 
up  at  the  morning  customer  with  a  moist 
grin,  and  said  :  "  No,  seh,  I  fool  you, 
misteh.  I  would  n'  waste  no  good  coin 
on  'em  cullud  people  no  mo'.  No,  seh  ; 
I  take  'at  money  an'  I  make  myse'f  good. 
— 'at 's  what  I  'd  do.  See  heah,  misteh — 
one  o'  'em  stiff  white  hats  'ith  a  soft  top, 
137 


PINK    MARSH 

kind  o'  pushed  in,  an'  black  band  'round 
it,  un'e'stand  !  Co'se  I  would  n'  have  no 
patent-leatheh  shoes — I  s'pose  not.  'Ese 
shahp  boys,'ith  yellow  tops.  Pants — kind 
o'  buff-cullud.  Coat  !  O,  say,  misteh, 
I  do  n'  s'pose  I'd  have  one  'ith  stripes, 
would  I  ?  No  braid  'long  edges,  neetheh. 
O,  man  !  I  'd  be  'e  wahmes'  thing  'at 
eveh  come  up  undeh  'at  TwelP  Street 
vi'duc'.  I  would  'n  do  thing  but  jus'  walk 
up  an'  down  in  front  o'  Miss  Lo'ena 
Jackson's  house  an'  say  :  '  Woman,  see 
what  you  missed.'  ' 

"  You  'd  have  to  get  a  cane  with  a 
silver  dog's-head,  would  n't  you  ?  "  sug 
gested  the  morning  customer. 

"  I  'm  buyin'  it  now,  misteh  ;  I  'mbuyin' 
it  now." 

"  And  a  white  silk  cravat  with  gold 
horseshoe  on  it  !  " 

"  Misteh,  you  sutny  got  to  stop  'at ;  I 
can't  see  yo'  shoe." 

u  Then  you  want  a  diamond  ring  and  a 
138 


PINK    MARSH 

double  watch-chain  with  a  cameo  charm, 
and  a  spotted  handkerchief  with  musk  on 
it,  and  a  pair  of  yellow  gloves  and — " 

u  Man  alive  !  Do  n'  say  no  mo'!  I  'm 
so  dopey  now  I  can't  finish  yo'  shoe.  You 
sutny  got  to  stop." 

"  How  about  smoking  a  ten-cent  cigar  ? " 

"  Make  it  fifteen,  misteh,  'ith  a  yellow 
papeh  'round  it.  Put  about  fo'  hund'ehd 
dollahs  in  my  cloze  while  yo'  at  it.  Good 
ness,  I  sutny  am  havin'  good  time  to-day." 

When  the  morning  customer  went 
away,  Pink  was  just  as  happy  as  though  he 
had  bought  the  clothes. 


On    the  Transference  of  Affec 
tions 

The  morning  customer  had  heard  of 
men  losing  weight  and  drooping  away  to 
melancholy  through  disappointment  in  love, 
but  he  observed  that  Pink  was  too  much 
of  a  philosopher  to  keep  company  with 
grief.  The  boy  gave  up  Lorena  Jackson 
with  no  sigh  of  regret.  He  no  longer 
talked  of  her. 

One  day  the  morning  customer,  who 
wished  to  learn  if  Pink  had  a  secret  sorrow, 
said  in  the  most  casual  way  : 

"  I  have  n't  heard  you  speak  of  your 
lady  friend  lately." 

"  She  ain*  no  frien'  o'   mine   no    mo' — 

'at  lady,  you  mean.    Some  day  when  she  's 

washin*    faw    livin'    to   keep   some   cheap 

cullud  hound  in  smokin'-tobacco,  you  see 

140 


PINK    MARSH 

Misteh  William  Pinckney  Mahsh  takin'  his 
wash  'roun'  to  huh  an'  say  :  '  Woman,  if 
you  do  n'  get  'iss  bundle  ready  by  to-moh'ow 
night,  I  take  my  wuhk  somewheahs  else, 
an'  you  all  stahve  to  death.'  Yes,  seh, 
I  '11  see  'e  day,  misteh,  when  'at  piece  o' 
p'oud  flesh  '11  be  doin'  up  my  collahs  faw 
me." 

"  You  should  n't  be  so  bitter.  You 
seemed  to  think  at  one  time  that  Miss — 
what 's  her  name  ?  " 

"  Miss  Lo'ena  Jackson,  yes  seh." 

"  Well,  you  seemed  to  think  at  one 
time  that  Miss  Jackson  was  an  amphibious 
sort  of  a  girl." 

"  Misteh,  I  seen  a  new  stah  in  'e  sky, 
an'  it  shines  brighteh  an'  eveh  you  see  'at 
ninety-poun'  lady.  Le'  me  tell  you, 
misteh.  She  ain't  so  'phibious  as  some 
othehs.  'Ey  's  a  big  crop  of  'em  on  'e 
South  Side,  an'  if  you  lose  one  you  suah 
find  anotheh  waitin'  faw  you  'round  'e 
cawneh." 

HI 


PINK    MARSH 

u  I  see — just  as  good  fish  in  the  sea  as 
ever  were  caught." 

"  Jus'  as  good  fish,  misteh,  but  you 
sutny  do  need  a  little  bait.  'Ey  won'  bite 
at  no  baih  hook.  Yes,  seh,you  can  ketch 
tuhtle  'ith  a  piece  o'  string,  misteh,  but 
you  got  to  use  fresh  bait  to  land  a  goggle- 
eye.  An'  you  got  to  pull  when  'at  cohk 
goes  undeh,  o'  little  Miss  Goggle-Eye  up 
stream  an'  took  yo'  bait  'long  'ith  huh." 

u  Well,  you  are  decidedly  figurative  this 
morning." 

"  'At 's  so,  misteh,  I  got  it  all  figgahed 
out.  Man  get  stung  three  o'  fo'  times 
an'  he  gets  wiseh,  no  mistake,  seh.  I  'm 
lookin'  P  no  mo'  ladies  'at 's  afteh  bikes. 
I  'm  wantin'  'em,  misteh,  'at  if  you  give 
'em  a  few  peppehmints  an'  stan'  faw  cah- 
faih,  'ey  think  they  bein'  used  good.  Yes, 
seh.  I  kind  o'  got  one  snaihed  out  now, 
an'  I  sutny  won't  spoil  'uh  by  talkin' 
jew'lery  to  'uh,  cuz  when  you  staht  'em  in 


142 


PINK    MARSH 

strong  you  got  to  make  good  all  'e  time,  o' 
you  come  to  bad  finish." 

"  You  Ve  given  up  all  hopes  of  recon 
ciliation  with  Lorena,  then,  have  you  ?" 

u  Misteh,  'at  lady  's  jus'  'e  same  to  me 
as  day  befo'  yes'day.  She  could  n'  coax 
me  back  to  huh,  even  if  she  use  sugah." 

"  How  about  chicken  ?  Suppose  she 
invited  you  over  to  her  house  to  eat 
chicken  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  might  fool  'ith  any  chicken 
she  set  out,"  and  Pink  shook  with  laugh 
ter;  "  but  she  could  n'  neveh  tie  me  down 
in  'at  pa'lah  agen,  faw  I  'm  tellin'  you  I 
know  all  'bout  'at  lady's  style.  You  know 
what  she  done  to  Hen'y  Clahk  ?  I  tol' 
you  'bout  Hen'y  Clahk,  did  n'  I  ?  " 

"  Is  he  the  Pullman  porter  that  cut  you 
and  George  Lippincott  out?" 

"  Yes,  seh,   'at 's  'e   one.     You  know 

he  loosen  up  an'  buy  'at  gold  watch  faw 

Lo'ena.     He  Juz  'e  hot  papa  P  'bout  two 

weeks,  an'  'en  he  went  broke.     Afteh  'at 

143 


PINK    MARSH 

he  begin  usin'  talk  on  huh  same  as  oP 
Gawge  Lippincott.  Jus'  soon  as  Hen'y 
could  n'  p'oduce  no  mo',  she  find  out  'at 
he  's  tellin'  bad  sto'ies  'bout  huh  cha'cteh, 
an'  she  goin'  'o  have  him  cahved  by  light 
fellow  'at  wuhks  in  a  club.  When  ol' 
Hen'y  went  back  on  his  cah  he  uz  stripped 
so  clean  he  could  n'  change  dollah  faw 
man  'at  wanted  to  give  him  quahteh. 
'At 's  what  'at  long-waisted  fai'y  done  to 
Hen'y  Clahk.  Misteh,  she 's  sutny  a 
quick  finisheh.  I  'm  'bout  'e  on'y  boy 
she  neveh  sunk  'e  hooks  into.  I  kep'  huh 
guessin'  'bout  'at  bisickle  she  'uz  goin'  'o 
get.  I  s'pose  she  likes  me,  do  n't  she  ? 
She  got  'at  yellow  waiteh  now.  Yes,  seh, 
if  he  gets  his  pay  in  aftehnoon,  you  can 
sutny  gamble  'at  she  's  he'pin'  him  spend 
it  in  'e  ev'nin'  — an'  any  time  he  's  slow  in 
comin'  up,  I  can  jus'  see  him  huntin'  P 
new  place." 

"  Well,  do  I  understand  you  to  say  that 
you  have  a  new — young  lady?" 
H4 


BELLE 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Misteh,  I  can't  say  I  got  huh  faw 
suah,  becuz  I  get  'at  con  so  often  befo'  'at 
I  'm  slow  to  say  what 's  mine  till  'e  race  is 
oveh  an'  all  tickets  paid,  but  it  sutny  looks 
as  if  'at  Miss  Belle  Hopkins  jus'  look  all 
'round  an'  'en  could  n'  see  nobody  else  but 
Misteh  William  Pinckney  Mahsh.  She's 
whispehed  it  to  me,  misteh,  'at  if  she  lose 
me,  ev'ything  sutny  off,  but  ol'  Misteh 
Wise  Pink,  he  's  huhd  'at  talk  befo'.  I 
ain't  makin'  no  claims,  misteh,  'til  I  see 
somebody  try  to  land  huh  'way  f 'om  me. 
'En  I  can  tell  if  she  's  goin  'o  stick.  Any 
hoss  can  win,  misteh,  if  he  's  got  'e  track 
to  himse'f,  but  you  bring  out  ol'  hoss  num- 
beh  two,  an'  'e  one  'at  picks  'em  up  oftenes' 
an'  sets  'em  down  fah  apaht  is  'e  one  'at 
you  want  to  put  yo'  money  on." 

"  What  kind  of  a  looking  girl  is  Belle?  " 

"  Betteh  'n  'at,  misteh.     She  's  betteh  'n 

yo'  guessin'    she  is.     Yes,  seh,  she  's  got 

mo'  feathehs  'an  any  otheh  blackbuhd  'at 

eveh  flew  'long  Deahbohn  Street,  an'  she 

145 


PINK    MARSH 

got  mo'  style  in  huh  walk  in  one  minute 
'an  'at  half-stahved  Lo'ena  Jackson  eveh 
had  in  all  huh  life.  My  goodness,  misteh, 
Belle  walk  jus'  like  she  'uz  takin'  last 
chance  at  'e  cake,  an'  had  a  bad  lady  to 
beat  out.  She  's  win  in  mo'  n'  one  walk, 
an'  she  'd  be  on  'e  stage  walkin'  long  befo' 
'iss,  on'y  huh  motheh  's  ve'y  strong  Meth'- 
dis'  an'  do  n'  like  none  of  'em  pasamala 
steps.  No,  seh,  Belle  can't  do  none  of  'at 
c  hand  on  yo'  head  an'  let  yo'  mind  go  free ' 
while  Mis'  Hopkins  'round.  Mis'  Hop 
kins  got  mo'  'ligion  'an  she  can  use.  I  'uz 
down  at  'e  house  otheh  ev'nin',  an'  ol' 
Mamma  Hopkins  she  kind  o'  sized  me 
oveh  'e  tops  of  'em  specticles,  an'  say: 
c  Misteh  Mahsh,  do  you  'tend  chuhch? ' 
I  say:  '  Yes,  umdeed,  Mis'  Hopkins;  I 
jus'  soon  think  o*  losin'  a  meal  as  oveh- 
lookin'  suhvis.'  'En  she  say:  '  What 
chuhch  do  you  'tend,  Misteh  Mahsh? '  an' 
I  say,  c  I  go  out  Thuhty-fift'  Street,  'cuz 
'e  preacheh  out  theah  most  sutny  preach 
146 


PINK    MARSH 

wahm  suhmon.'  She  kind  o'  look  at  me  an' 
shake  'uh  head.  Yes,  seh,  I  '11  have  to 
holleh  some  night  befo'  I  'm  strong  'ith  ol' 
Mis'  Hopkins.  I  '11  jus'  have  to  go  down 
to  'at  chuhch  an'  drown  out  Misteh 
Preacheh  Fehguson  befo'  Mis'  Hopkins 
eveh  believe  I  got  'ligion." 

"  Yes,  Pink,  I  suppose  you  are  going  to 
add  hypocrisy  to  your  other  sins,"  said  the 
morning  customer. 

"  No,  seh,  misteh,  'at  ain'  no  'poc'asy. 
I  get  comvuhted  ev'y  time  I  go  to  chuhch, 
but  on  week-days  I  sutny  is  what  Brotheh 
Fehguson  call  a  wande'in'  sheep.  I  sutny 
wandeh  when  I  get  'way  wheah  I  can't 
heah  'at  music." 

"  Well,  perhaps  Belle  will  convert 
you." 

"  Hush,  man!  'At  Belle  's  a  hot  tomol- 
ley.  She  no  mo'  got  'at  Meth'dis'  'ligion 
'an  you  have  —  no,  seh.  She'd  ratheh 
push  huh  feet  oveh  floo'  'at  hnd  sand  on 
it.  She  's  got  bad  feet.  She  do  n'  know 
'47 


PINK    MARSH 

what  to   do   'ith  'em   feet  at  all.     Shall  I 
kind  o'  touch  up  'at  hat,  misteh?  " 

And  the  morning  customer  stepped 
down  to  be  brushed.  Pink  swung  the 
long  and  supple  broom  in  fancy  curves 
and  beat  out  fancy  time.  As  the  morning 
customer  started  toward  the  door,  Pink 
whispered, "  Gawge  Lippincott  do  n'  know 
'iss  guhl  at  all,  an'  I  'm  sutny  goin'  'o  keep 
huh  undeh  coveh." 


On  the  Relative  Value  of  Edu 
cation  and  Wealth 

On  a  bright  spring  morning,  when  Pink 
should  have  been  dwelling  on  the  birth  of 
seasons,  he  admitted  that  he  was  ponder 
ing  on  the  benefits  of  education.  Before 

p 

he  spoke,  the  morning  customer  noticed 
that  his  eyelids  were  strained,  and  he  whis 
pered  to  himself. 

He  worked  in  silence  for  several  min 
utes  and  then  consulted  the  oracle. 

"  Misteh,  I  want  to  ask  you  q'estion, 
'cuz  I  know  you  '11  tell  me  right.  It 's 
'bout  which  is  betteh  faw  you  —  ej'cation 
o'  money?  " 

"  What  got  you  started  on  that  ques 
tion?  "  asked  the  morning  customer. 

u  Yes,  seh,  'ey  had  a  meetin'  at  'e 
F'ed'ick  Douglass  Club  last  ev'nin',  an'  I 
149 


PINK    MARSH 

went  'ith  Gawge  Lippincott.  'At 's  'e 
q'estion  'ey  discussed  'bout,  which  is  betteh 
faw  you  to  have  —  ej'cation  o'  money?" 

"  Which  side  did  you  take?  " 

u  I  jus'  set  theah  an'  listened  to  some 
of  'em  hot  boys  th'ow  lang'age  at  each 
otheh.  'Ey  sutny  wuz  usin'  wuhds  'at 
neveh  'd  been  used  befo'.  I  guess  it  was 
pooh,  too.  Goodness!  'At  Gawge  Lip 
pincott  jus'  spread  his  wings  an'  sail  'round 
an'  'round  'at  room  like  eagle.  He  neveh 
touch  flooh  at  all.  You  talk  'bout  me 
bein'  in  'at  ahgament!  W'y,  misteh,  I 
could  jus'  flutteh  a  little.  I  sutny  could  n* 
fly."  ' 

"  Which  side  did  your  friend,  Mr.  Lip 
pincott,  take? " 

"  Misteh,  he  could  n'  see  nothin'  but 
ej'cation.  He  said  'at  a  wise  boy  could 
make  good  even  if  he  did  n'  have  'e  coin, 
but  if  you  had  all  'e  money  you  could 
cah'y  an'  wuz  igno'ant,  'en  people  would  n' 
show  no  manneh  o'  respec'  faw  you." 
150 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Yes,  but  suppose  a  man  has  plenty  of 
money  —  he  can  travel  around  the  world 
and  employ  people  to  instruct  him,  and  in 
a  little  while  he  will  have  an  education." 

u  'At 's  so,  misteh,"  said  Pink,  reflec 
tively.  'At 's  ev'y  wuhd  so,  suah  'nough." 

u  But,  on  the  other  hand,"  said  the 
morning  customer,  "  suppose  that  a  man 
has  education,  but  no  money,  to  begin  with. 
Can't  he  use  his  education  to  make 
money?  " 

"  'At 's  what  he  can  do,"  said  Pink, 
solemnly. 

u  Suppose  he  makes  money  and  loses  it. 
He  still  has  his  education  left,  has  n't  he  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  you  sutny  siftin'  it.  Yes,  seh, 
you  sutny  gettin'  'at  subjec'  right  up  in  'e 
cawneh  so  's  it  can  't  get  away  f 'om  you." 

u  You  follow  my  line  of  reasoning,  do 
you  ?  " 

"  Go  on,  misteh,  I  'm  close  behind. 
You  can  't  lose  me." 

"  I  say,  suppose  the  educated  man  loses 


PINK    MARSH 

his  money.  He  still  has  his  education 
left.  But  if  a  man  has  n't  got  anything 
at  all  but  money,  and  he  loses  that,  where 
is  he  ?  Tell  me  that." 

"  Wheah  is  he  ?  Wheah  is  he,  misteh  ? 
W'y,  'at's  his  finish,  suah.  My  goodness, 
misteh,  I  do  wish  you  'd  been  out  to  'at 
F'ed'ick  Douglass  Club  las'  night  jus*  to 
toss  some  of  'at  kind  o'  lang'age  at  some 
of  'em  cullud  bladdehs.  Ol'  Hahvey 
Wilson  'uz  takin'  'e  money  side,  an'  he 
sutny  made  mo'  noise  an'  done  less  talkin' 
an*  any  man  I  eveh  see.  You  neveh 
know  what  Hahvey  's  wantin'  to  tell  you, 
'cuz  he  use  'em  wuhds  'at  he  makes  up 
himself —  all  'e  time  sayin'  someping 
'bout  'e  'scrambation  of  illipsical'  o'  'ambi- 
fication  faw  scientific  tomology,  an'  all  'at. 
He  do  n'  know  what  'at  means  any  mo' 
'an  you  do." 

"  Well,  you  know  what  c  tomology  ' 
means,  do  n't  you  ?  "  asked  the  morning 
customer. 

152 


OL'   MIS1   HOPKINS 


PINK    MARSH 

"  How  's  'at,  misteh  ?     c  Tomology'  ?  " 

"Yes,  the  word  c  tomology,'  you  just 
used.  You  know  what  that  means,  do  n't 
you?  " 

Pink  rubbed  the  shoe  slowly  and  ap 
peared  to  be  in  deep  thought. 

u  I  une'stand  in  gen'al  way  e'  defimition, 
but  I  can  't  hahdly  tell  it." 

"  '  Tomology  *  means  the  science  of  to 
matoes." 

"  Yes,  seh.  I  knew  it  'uz  someping 
like  'at,  but  Hahvey  Wilson,  he  did  n' 
know,  misteh.  He  jus'  huhd  somebody  use 
'at  wuhd,  an'  he  say,  *  '  At  's  a  good  wuhd. 
I  jus'  need  'at  !  '  Yes,  seh,  he  thinks  'at 
'  tomology  '  someping  about  'e  Bible." 

"  Well,  which  side  won  the  debate  ?  " 

lt  Misteh,  'at  Gawge  Lippincott  beat 
Hahvey  Wilson  at  ev'y  tuhn  in  'e  road. 
My  goodness,  he  had  oP  Hahvey  hangin' 
on  'e  ropes,  but  'ey  done  him  duht,  suah. 
Hahvey  got  'at  decision.  Yes,  seh;  his 
brotheh-in-law  'uz  one  of  'e  judges,  an' 
153 


PINK    MARSH 

'notheh  judge  'uz  Lou  Pahkeh  'at  Gawge 
kep'  out  o'  bein'  janitah  at  'e  police  station. 
Ol'  Gawge  sutny  had  no  chance  'genst  'at 
push." 

u  Are  you  a  member  of  the  club  ?" 
"No,  seh;  I  jus'  kind  o'  follow  oP 
Gawge  in.  'Bout  month  ago,  misteh,  'ey 
sutny  had  a  wahm  session  'bout  c  Which 
is  'e  greates',  wateh  o'  fiah  ?  '  I  s'pose 
oP  Gawge  did  n'  say  a  wuhd  'at  night. 
He  jus'  ask  'em  one  question,  misteh,  'at 
settled  'e  whole  thing.  He  jus'  say, 
c  Wateh  can  put  out  fiah,  but  how  'bout 
fiah  puttin'  out  wateh  ?  '  Afteh  he  showed 
'at  wateh  'uz  strongeh  'n  fiah,  he  say, 
'What 's  'e  mos'  hahm  fiah  eveh  done  ?  ' 
'At  'uz  'e  Chicago  fiah.  It  jus'  buhn  up 
one  town,  but  did  n't  'e  flood  wash  away 
ev'y thing?  W'y,  misteh, 'at  flood  wash  away 
hund'ehds  towns  'e  size  o'  Chicago,  an* 
nobody  eveh  heah  anything  mo*  'bout  'em." 
"  Do  you  believe  that  story  about 
Noah's  ark  and  the  flood?" 
154 


PINK    MARSH 

"  How  's  'at,  misteh  ?  Do  I  believe 'at 
sto'y  ?  Ain't  it  wrote  down  in  'e  Bible, 
huh  ?  " 

"  Yes,  but  I  did  n't  know  whether  you 
Relieved  it  or  not." 

"  Look  heah,  man  !  S'pose  I  did  have 
some  doubts  'bout  'at  sto'y.  Do  n't  you 
think  I  'm  eveh  foolish  'nough  to  say  so. 
No,  seh  ;  I  'm  takin'  no  chances.  I  jus' 
say  I  b'lieve  ev'ything  'at 's  put  down  an* 
'en  I  'm  safe." 

"  Why,  it  's  just  as  bad  to  have  a  doubt 
in  your  mind  as  it  is  to  come  right  out  and 
say  so,"  remarked  Mr.  Clifford,  the  head 
barber,  who  had  lounged  over  to  hear  the 
talk. 

"  No,  seh  !  "  replied  Pink,  emphatically. 
"  'Ey  can  't  prove  nothin'  'genst  me  if  I 
do  n't  come  out  an'  say  someping.  S'pose 
'ey  say,  c  Misteh  Mahsh,  did  you  al'uz 
believe  'e  Bible  ? '  an'  I  say,  «  Yes,  seh.' 
'Ey  could  n'  prove  what  been  in  my  mind; 
no,  seh.  Ain'  'at  so,  misteh  ?  " 

'55 


PINK    MARSH 

"  I  'm  in  doubt  about  that,"  said  the 
morning  customer. 

u  But  if  'ey  say,  c  How  'bout  'at  maw- 
nin'  in  'e  bahbeh-shop  when  you  told  'em 
gem'men  'at  you  wuz  n't  suah  'bout  Noah 
an*  'e  ahk  ? '  —  what  could  I  answeh  back? 
No,  seh  ;  you  do  n't  get  me  into  no  trouble 
about  'e  Bible.  I  do  n'  know  what  all 's 
in  'at  Bible,  but  I  say  it 's  so,  o'  else  it 
would  n't  be  in.  I  'm  takin'  no  chances, 
misteh.  I  ain'  no  good  chuhch  membeh 
now,  but  I  'm  goin'  o'  keep  good  on 
believin'  in  'at  Bible,  so  if  eveh  I  get  sick 
oj  anything  'e  matteh  'ith  me,  I  wont  have 
to  squaih  myse'fve'y  much.  'At 's  goin' 
'o  count  faw  me,  misteh,  if  I  can  say  I 
b'lieve  'at  Bible  all  'e  time." 

"  You  have  it  all  figured  out,"  said  the 
morning  customer,  "  and  I  do  n't  see  how 
they  can  lose  you." 

Pink  was  much  elated  to  think  that  he 
had  not  been  trapped  into  expressing  any 
doubt  as  to  scriptural  revelation. 
156 


PREACHEH   FEHGUSON 


On  the  Sin  of  Neglecting  an 
Opportunity 

The  friendship  between  the  morning 
customer  and  Pink  lasted  well,  because  it 
was  never  allowed  to  drift  into  familiarity. 
Whenever  the  morning  customer  climbed 
to  the  throne,  he  was  greeted  with  formal 
politeness.  He  listened  gravely  when 
Pink  told  his  secrets,  and,  by  fine  tact, 
invited  confidence  even  while  repelling 
intimacy.  He  seldom  spoke  of  himself, 
and  there  never  can  be  a  real  companion 
ship  between  two  persons  until  they  have 
compared  experiences. 

After  the  months  had  passed,  Pink  knew 
the  morning  customer  as  an  exalted  and 
dignified  personage  who  had  command  of 
the  wisdom  of  all  ages  and  allowed  his 
light  to  shine.  And  that  was  all  he  knew, 

157 


PINK    MARSH 

The  morning  customer,  on  the  other 
hand,  knew  Pink's  biography  —  the  boy's 
early  life  in  an  Ohio  town,  how  he  fol 
lowed  the  race  horses  to  Chicago,  why  he 
gave  up  working  in  a  dairy  lunchroom, 
and  so  on,  up  to  the  time  when  he  took 
the  room  at  Mrs.  Willard's  house  and  was 
placed  in  charge  of  the  boot-polishing 
department  in  Mr.  Clifford's  shop. 

It  has  already  appeared  that  he  learned 
of  Pink's  habits,  his  falling  from  grace, 
and  his  recovery  of  the  high  intentions  to 
be  important  and  have  money  of  his  own. 
With  each  visit  the  morning  customer 
learned  something  more  regarding  the  boy. 
For  instance,  one  morning  the  conversa 
tion  turned  upon  the  subject  of  dramatic 
art,  and  Pink  gave  the  opinion  that  "  Ca- 
mille  "  was  the  greatest  play  ever  written. 

u  Took  a  guhl  to  see  'at  '  Camille '  one 
night,"    he   said.      u  She  jus'    shiveh   an' 
hang  on  to  me  all  'e  way  home.     I  got 
puhty  well  roused  myse'f." 
158 


PINK    MARSH 

At  another  time,  soon  after  Pink  had 
expressed  his  entire  faith  in  the  Bible  (as 
set  forth  in  the  preceding  chapter),  ke 
talked  of  music,  and  said  that  "rag-time" 
melodies  pleased  him,  but  that  he  dared 
not  listen  to  them  during  business  hours, 
because  the  mists  came  before  his  eyes 
and  he  became  so  excited  that  he  could 
not  shine  shoes.  He  told  of  his  belief 
that  the  angels  in  heaven  played  u  rag 
time  "  music,  and  he  regarded  this  as  an 
inducement  for  all  colored  people  to  lead 
pure  lives. 

While  they  were  talking  of  u  rag-time  " 
music,  the  morning  customer  asked  why 
it  was  that  a  colored  man  could  dance  so 
much  better  than  a  white  man.  Pink  ad 
vanced  the  explanation  that  the  colored 
man  had  fewer  bones  than  the  white  man, 
and  had  his  joints  peculiarly  constructed, 
according  to  an  all-wise  plan.  He  also 
held  that  the  white  men's  bones  were 
"  brickie,"  while  the  colored  man  could 

159 


PINK    MARSH 

bend  his  frame  and  assume  certain  shapes 
which  added  to  the  charm  of  his  perform 
ance  as  a  dancer.  The  morning  customer 
shook  his  head  in  doubt,  and  Pink  said 
that  a  doctor  had  once  explained  to  him 
the  construction  of  a  colored  man,  telling 
him,  among  other  things,  that  the  skull 
was  an  inch  thick  and  that  the  only  ten 
der  part  of  the  anatomy  was  the  shin-bone. 

It  happened  that  just  after  Pink  had 
won  his  point  concerning  the  bony  struc 
ture  of  the  members  of  his  race,  two  bar 
bers  and  a  man  in  the  second  chair  be 
came  involved  in  loud  talk  about  the  con 
tinuous  war-cloud  in  Europe.  This  in 
terruption  gave  the  morning  customer  a 
chance  to  retire  gracefully  from  the  dis 
pute  as  to  anatomy,  so  he  asked: 

"  Have  you  been  reading  the  war  news 
in  the  papers  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  got  no  time  faw  'at  wah 
when  'ey  's  fo'  tracks  runnin' ;  no,  seh. 
I  been  too  busy  watchin'  'em  at  Memphis 
160 


COME  AN'   TAKE   MY  MONEY" 


PINK    MARSH 

to  know  'bout  'at  wah.  I  mahked  'em 
yes'day,  misteh,  an'  three  out  o'  fo'  win. 
an'  I  did  n'  have  a  cent  on  one  of  'em. 

u  I  understand.  You  've  been  making 
these  mind  bets  —  figuring  how  much  you 
might  have  won/* 

"  Misteh,  I  ought  to  be  cah'yin'  roll 
to-day  'at  'd  look  like  bolt  o'  wall-papeh. 
"  Yes,  seh,  I  had  oP  Domingo  at  Mem 
phis,  an'  'at  Pahson  at  Newpoht.  Cullud 
boy  tol*  rue  to  be  suah  an'  get  someping 
on  Pahson  as  soon  as  he  'uz  good  odds. 
Yes'day,  misteh,  he  'uz  six  to  one,  an'  I 
know  he  could  n'  lose,  an'  heah  I  set  rub 
bing  up  tans  faw  nasty  oP  ten  a  throw 
when  I  ought  to  been  oveh  in'  at  back 
room  playin'  my  cloze  on  'at  Pahson. 
W'y,  misteh,  he  went  past  'em  jus*  like 
'ey  was  tied.  I  know  wheah  I  could  got 
five  dollahs  yes'day,  too.  I  take  'at  five 
and  play  Domingo  an'  Pahson,  an'  I  get 
mo'  'an  hund'ehd  of  'em  big  smiling  dol 
lahs  to-day." 

161 


PINK    MARSH 

"  I  'm  afraid  I  '11  never  cure  you  of 
gambling." 

"  W'y,  misteh,  when  you  see  on  'e 
blackboahd  'at  Pahson  's  six  to  one,  an'  you 
know  he  can't  lose,  I  'm  tellin'  you, 
misteh,  it  ain'  right  to  keep  'at  money  in 
yo'  pocket.  If  'at  bookmakeh  say,  '  Come 
an'  take  my  money,'  yo'  sutny  foolish  if 
you  do  n'  do  it." 

u  I  can't  see  that  you  Ve  ruined  very 
many  bookmakers.  Where 's  all  the 
money  you  've  won  on  the  races?" 

"  Hush,  man  !  I  do  n'  s'pose  I  done  a 
thing  to  ol'  Sly  Libson  one  day,  did  I  ?  I 
jus'  caught  'at  rascal  seven  to  one,  an'  I 
come  back  Pom  'e  pahk  in  open  caih'age 
smokin'  one  of  'em  pooh  fifteen-cent 
cigahs." 

u  Yes,  you  told  me  about  that.  You 
went  out  that  night  and  lost  your  job. 
How  long  did  your  money  last  you  ? " 

"  Neveh  mind  'bout  'at  time,  misteh. 
Nex'  time  Misteh  Mahsh  gets  on  one  of 
162 


PINK    MARSH 

'em  good   things,  he 's   goin'    'o   take    'at 
money  an  plant  it  deep,  suah." 

u  What !  Are  you  going  to  save  money 
at  last  ?  " 

"  'At 's  what  I  need,  misteh.  'At 's 
what  I  got  to  have." 

"  Well,  that 's  a  virtuous  resolution, 
certainly,  but  I  don't  think  you'll  ever 
make  any  money  playing  the  races." 

"  You  can't  tell,  misteh.  I  been  feel- 
in'  ve'y  lucky  for  sev'al  days." 

"  Well,  I  hope  you  '11  not  be  disap 
pointed.  Since  when  have  you  had  this 
desire  to  save  money  ?  " 

"  Well,  misteh,  you  got  to  have  a  little, 
o'  they  sutny  got  no  use  faw  you." 

"  Who  has  n't  any  use  for  you?  I  won 
der  if  you  are  contemplating  matrimony." 

"  Hush,  man  !" 

"  What 's  her  name  —  the  new  one  ?  " 

"  Who  ?  'At  Miss  Belle  Hopkins  ?  I 
neveh  say  I  'uz  goin'  'o  join  up  'ith  'at 
lady." 

163 


PINK    MARSH 

"  No,  but  I  'm  very  suspicious." 
Pink  laughed  away  down  in  his  throat, 
and  shook  his  head  warningly.  "  I  do  n' 
say  I  will  mah'y  'at  lady,  an'  I  do  n'  say 
I  won't  do  it.  She  's  a  cana'y  buhd,  mis- 
teh,  an'  she  sings  sweet  song,  but  'e  cullud 
boy  ain'  got  no  cage.  You  can't  neveh 
live  on  'em  cake-walks.  Cake-walks  is 
good,  misteh,  but  you  can't  eat  'em,  no 
seh  !  'At 's  ev'y  wuhd  so.  Thank  you, 
seh.  How  's  'at,  misteh  ?  Keep  Je  change? 
Oh,  I  s'pose  I  do  n'  know  how,  do  I  ?  I 
tol'  you,  misteh,  'at  I  wuz  feelin'  lucky." 


On  Secret  Defamation  of 
Character 

There  was  a  dark  cloud  in  the  sky. 

Pink  Marsh  told  the  morning  customer 
about  it  at  the  first  opportunity.  He  be 
gan  by  saying  that  he  would  have  to  write 
another  letter. 

"What's  the  matter?"  asked  the 
morning  customer. 

"  Dahk  cloud  in  'e  sky,  misteh.  Yes, 
seh,  'ey  's  a  dahk  cloud  in  'e  sky, 
caused  by  some  low-down  cullud  pusson, 
who  I  call  a  snake-in-'e-grass  right  to  his 
ve'y  face." 

"  Who  is  the  snake~in-the-grass  ?  " 

"  'At  's  what  I  can't  find  out,  misteh." 

"Well,  how  can  you  tell  him  anything 
to  his  face,  then  ?  " 

165 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Jus'  le'  me  know  who  it  is,  misteh  ; 
'at 's  all  Misteh  Mahsh  caihs  to  know. 
Yes,  seh,  he  be  layin'  in  'at  shiny  box  'an 
people  go  by  an'  say :  c  Jus'  looks  like 
he  's  'sleep,  do  n't  he  ? '  Co'se,  his  cloze 
goin'  'o  coveh  up  all  'em  holes  I  cahve  in 
him.  I  'm  goin'  'o  leave  'nough  o'  him 
to  make  a  good  fune'al,  an'  'at  's  'bout  all. 

"It  isn't  George  this  time  —  George, 
what  's  his  name?  " 

"  No,  seh,  it  ain't  Gawge.  I  can't  find 
out  who  done  it,  but  if  I  look  in  ev'y 
house  on  Deahbohn  St'eet,  I  'm  suah  to 
find  him  some  time  o'  otheh,  an'  when  I 
do  —  hush  man!  You  jus'  listen  on  'e 
Nawth  Side,  an'  you  heah  him  squawk  out 
Twent'-Sevem  Street.  Yes,  seh,  yo' 
next." 

The  last  was  addressed  to  a  young  man 
in  checked  clothes,  who  had  edged  up  and 
was  listening  with  a  steadfast  grin. 

"  Who  's  that  you  're  goin'  to  do  up  ?  " 
he  asked. 

166 


PINK    MARSH 

u 'At 's  nobody,  misteh,"  replied  Pink, 
with  an  averted  wink  at  the  morning  cus 
tomer.  "  I  would  n'  huht  nobody.  You 
jus'  have  a  good  chaih,  misteh,  an'  I  '11 
sutny  use  you  right  in  ve'y  few  minutes. 
Heah  's  mawnin'  papeh,  seh,  'at  's  got  all 
'bout  'at  Cong'ess.  Yes,  seh,  you  get 
oveh  by  'e  window  yo'  suah  to  get  plenty 
o'  light.  Yes,  seh,  I  '11  be  ready  faw  you, 
seh,  in  ve'y  shawt  time." 

Pink  diplomatically  steered  the  young 
man  over  to  the  window  and  supplied  him 
with  the  remnant  of  a  morning  paper,  after 
which  he  returned  to  the  morning  cus 
tomer,  with  a  sidewise  expression  of  satis 
fied  cunning. 

u  I  do  n'  wan'  no  sody-juggleh  out  o'  no 
drug-stoah  to  stan'  round  an'  rubbeh  when 
I  'm  talkin'  'em  p'ivate  mattehs,"  he  said, 
confidentially,  as  he  resumed  his  place  on 
the  stool.  "  I  got  to  use  him  propeh,  'cuz 
his  money  goes  on  'e  street-cahs  jus'  same 
as  yo's,  but  I  sutny  do  n'  want  to  be  con- 
167 


PINK    MARSH 

f'dential  'ith  no  boy  'at  tosses  'em  aig 
phosphates." 

"  Well,  what 's  the  purport  of  all  this 
sanguinary  conversation  ? "  asked  the  morn 
ing  customer,  who  had  noted  that  Pink 
always  mapped  out  the  vengeance  first 
and  told  of  the  provocation  afterward. 

Pink  smiled  in  upward  admiration, 
and  then  his  shoulders  shook  in  rapid 
measure,  showing  that  he  was  enjoying 
himself  inwardly. 

"  Ev'y  day  new  ones,  misteh  !  "  he  ex 
claimed.  "  Ev'y  day  new  ones  !  Some 
hotteh  'an  othehs,  but  all  of  'em  too 
wahm  faw  pooh  cullud  boy." 

"  Did  n't  I  understand  you  to  say  that 
you  were  going  to  slaughter  some  one  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  heah  's  what  I  'm  goin'  'o  do: 
I  'm  goin'  'o  cut  my  name  in  'at  cullud 
rascal  so  deep  'at  you  can  read  it  Pom 
behind  same  as  in  front.  I  'm  goin'  'o 
stand  him  up  an'  whittle  him.  Yes,  seh; 
I  'm  goin'  'o  take  of?  so  much  o'  his 
168 


TOSSES  'EM  AIG-PHOSPHATES 


PINK    MARSH 

weight  'at  he  '11  be  in  new  class.  I  '11 
sutny  trim  him  good.  When  I  finish  'ith 
him  an'  pack  my  tools,  he  '11  be  diff'ent 
shape —  'at's  a  fac'." 

"I  think  I  begin  to  understand,"  said 
the  morning  customer.  "  Somebody  has 
stolen  that  new  girl." 

"  Who  ?  Who  ?  Do  n'  neveh  believe 
it,  seh.  No,  seh  !  If  'ey  get  'at  lady 
'way  f  'om  William  Pinckney,  'ey  sutny 
got  to  pull  'uh.  She  could  n'  leave  me  if 
she  want'  to.  You  know  what  she  say  ? 
'Misteh  Mahsh,  'ey 's  one  floweh  'at 
blooms  in  ev'y  gahden,  an'  you  ah  my 
honeysuckle.'  ' 

u  That 's  very  pretty." 

u  It  ain't  ev'y  dahk-haihed  boy  'at  gets 
'at  kind,  misteh." 

u  I  suppose  not.  Well,  if  you  have  n't 
lost  Miss  Hopkins,  what  seems  to  be  the 
trouble?" 

"  Yes,  seh,  'e  trouble  is,  misteh,  'at 
some  cullud  pusson  's  out  to  poison  my 
169 


PINK    MARSH 

cha'cteh.  Somebody  's  been  knockin'  me 
'ith  ol'  Mis*  Hopkins.  Goodness,  mis- 
teh  !  She  tell  Belle  'at  she  heah  I  like  gin 
an*  roll  'e  bones  an'  play  numbehs  an' 
cah'y  razah,  an' — " 

"And  steal  chickens  ?  " 

«  Suah  !  Wuhse  kind  o'  chicken-lifteh 
—  steal  'em  in  front  o'  butcheh-shops  an' 
stoahs  —  steal  'ese'at's  picked  an' cleaned. 
Yes,  seh,  whoeveh  it  is  'at 's  knockin',  I 
s'pose,  got  me  down  faw  stealin'  dead 
chickens.  It  takes  a  spoht  to  go  afteh  a 
live  chicken,  misteh,  but  when  you  take 
dead  one,  'at 's  jus'  plain  stealin'.  I 
s'pose  I  'm  dead-chicken  thief." 

"  Somebody 's  been  telling  all  these 
things  to  Miss  Hopkins's  mother  —  is  that 
it  ?  " 

"  Misteh,  I  ought  to  be  oveh  in  'e  jail, 
an'  have  my  pickchah  in  'e  papeh.  Neveh 
mind,  misteh,  I  'm  waitin'." 

"  Do  you  suspect  any  one  ?  " 

"  I  Ml  tell  you  'bout  'at,  misteh.  Miss 
170 


PINK    MARSH 

Belle  got  a  cousin,  Chesteh  Hopkins,  'at 
leads  'e  singin'  at  e'  chuhch.  Chesteh  got 
side-whiskehs.  Look  out  faw  one  'ith 
side-whiskehs,  misteh  !  It  wuz  n'  neveh 
meant  faw  no  cullud  pusson  to  have  side- 
whiskehs.  Chesteh  got  a  ve'y  wahm  set 
of  'em,  too.  An'  he  weahs  eyeglasses  ! 
Hush  !  I  tell  you,  misteh,  he  ain't  right. 
He  do  n'  look  like  no  cullud  pusson.  He 
look  mo'  like  some  Sunday-school  white 
man  'at  jus'  shift  his  cullah.  I  guess  he 
ain'  no  cullud  man,  neetheh,  come  to 
think  'bout  it.  Chesteh  wuz  'e  fus'  Af 'o- 
Ameh'can  on  Deahbohn  Street.  He  's 
suah  'nough  Af 'o-Ameh'can,  an'  he  got  a 
bad  eye  in  his  head  faw  Misteh  William 
Pinckney  Mahsh.  Him  an'  Brotheh 
Fehguson,  'e  preacheh,  jus'  about  own 
'at  chuhch  at  ol'  Mis'  Hopkins  goes  to,  an' 
I  do  n'  s'pose  ol'  Chesteh  goin'  'o  ovehlook 
no  chance  to  spoil  my  bets.  'Cose  I  ain' 
been  goin'  to  chuhch  ve'y  often  in  'e  las' 
twenty  yeahs  o'  so,  an'  mebbe  Chesteh 
171 


PINK    MARSH 

do  n'  think  I  got  no  ticket  faw  to  swing  on 
'e  sweet  cha'iot,"  and  Pink  laughed. 

"  Have  n't  been  to  church,  and  you  're 
proud  of  it,"  said  the  morning  customer, 
shaking  his  head.  "  I  'm  afraid  you  're  a 
hopeless  case." 

"  I  been  sev'al  times  lately  'ith  Miss 
Belle." 

"  Trying  to  get  on  good  terms  with 
Mrs.  Hopkins." 

"  I  s'pose  'at  's  a  bad  guess,  misteh. 
Anyways  I  ain't  win  'at  ol'  lady  yet.  Good 
ness,  misteh !  I  like  to  know  who  feed 
huh  'at  mean  talk  'bout  me.  Somebody 
scandalize  my  name,  suah.  On'y  one 
thing  squaih  me  'ith  Mis'  Hopkins — 'at 's 
one  of  'em  lettehs.  Make  me  good  one, 
misteh,  an'  put  in  some  sc'ipchah.  Ain't 
scaihed  o'  losin'  my  baby,  but  I  want  to 
be  so  good  up  at  'e  Hopkins  house  'at  a 
good  wahm  dinneh  be  waitin'  faw  me  any 
time  I  call." 

The  morning  customer  promised. 
172 


COUSIN  CHESTEH 


On  Conjuration 

The  morning  customer  spent  fifteen 
minutes  in  composing  the  letter  which 
was  to  give  Pink  Marsh  a  sure  standing 
with  Belle  Hopkins's  mother.  He  pushed 
aside  the  letters  waiting  to  be  answered, 
and  devoted  himself  to  the  labor  of  love. 
Was  he  prompted  by  the  hopes  of  a  re 
ward?  None — except  that  reward  which 
comes  to  the  unselfish  man  when  he  knows 
that  he  has  helped  to  complicate  a  love 
affair. 

He  took  it  to  Mr.  Clifford's  shop  two 
days  after  his  promise  had  been  given. 
Pink  was  anxious  to  hear  the  letter,  and 
he  exercised  great  haste  in  shining  a  pair 
of  scaly  gaiters,  so  that  he  could  go  into  a 
close  session  with  the  morning  customer. 


PINK    MARSH 

u  Got  'at,  misteh  ?  "  he  asked2  cau 
tiously. 

"Which?  O,  that  letter?  Yes,  I 
dashed  off  a  few  lines  and  had  them  type 
written.  I  've  left  it  so  that  you  can  sign 
your  name  at  the  bottom — that  is,  if  it 
suits  you." 

"  Suit  me,  misteh  ?  I  know  it 's  good 
befo'  you  read  it." 

"  I  did  n't  know  Mrs.  Hopkins's  first 
name,  so  I  left  that  blank.  Do  you  know 
it  ?  " 

"  No,  seh,  I  do  n't.  Jus'  Mis'  Hop 
kins  ;  'at 's  all  we  eveh  call  huh." 

"  Has  she  got  a  husband  ? " 

"  Yes,  seh,  she  got  a  husband." 

"  What 's  his  name  ?  " 

"  Zig  Lucas." 

"  Her  name  is  Mrs.  Hopkins  and  her 
husband's  name  is  Zig  Lucas — how  do  you 
make  that  out  ?  " 

u  Mis'  Hopkins,  she  been  mah'ied  be 
fo'.  I  guess  so  wuz  oP  Zig.  He  got  boy 
174 


PINK    MARSH 

Spotswood  Lucas',  'at  ain'  no  kin  to  Belle 
at  all.  Ol'  Spot  neveh  done  day's  wuhk 
in  his  life.  Sick  all  'e  time.  Yes,  seh, 
too  sick  to  wuhk — jus*  able  to  eat  an'  play 
pool." 

"  I  put  it  c  Mrs.  Hopkins  '  here.  We  '11 
let  it  go  at  that.  Are  you  ready  to  hear 
it?" 

"  Yes,  seh,  misteh.  Do  n'  make  it  too 
loud." 

"  'Mrs.  Hopkins — My  Dear  Madam:  It  is 
with—'  " 

"  Hold  on,  misteh.  You  want  to  get 
me  in  trouble  'ith  'at  oF  Zig  ?  What  you 
got  me  sayin'  to  Mis'  Hopkins  ?  " 

"  Why,  you  address  her  as  c  My  dear 
madam.'  ' 

"  Ain't  'at  puhty  wahm  to  give  'at  oP 
guhl  ?  When  she  reads  'at,  she  think  I  'm 
afteh  huh,  'stead  o'  Belle.  '  Deah  madam* 
—my  goodness  !  'At  's  lovin'  talk,  suah." 

"  O,  that  does  n't  mean  anything.  Any 
letter  to  a  married  lady  of  your  acquaint- 


PINK    MARSH 

ance  should  begin  that  way.  You  leave 
it  alone.  That  will  please  her." 

He  read  the  letter  : 

"  MRS.  HOPKINS — My  Dear  Madam:  It  is 
with  feelings  of  indiscriminate  respect  that  I  ad 
dress  you  upon  a  subject  which  I  regard  as 
altogether  behooving. 

*'  '  Be  thou  as  chaste  as  ice,  as  pure  as  snow, 
Thou  shalt  not  escape  calumny.' 

"  How  true  this  is!  It  is  with  excruciating 
surprise  that  I  learn  of  a  recent  attempt  to  cast 
aspersions  on  my  character,  which  I  have  al 
ways  sought  to  keep  herbiverous.  As  you  are 
doubtless  cognizant,  I  have  lately  endeavored 
to  place  myself  in  immediate  juxtaposition  to 
your  daughter,  Belle,  whose  caloric  properties 
are  such  as  to  excite  my  profound  admiration. 
At  present  she  is  the  most  salubrious  object 
within  my  range  of  vision.  Animated,  no 
doubt,  by  the  rancor  of  envy,  some  inconse 
quential  marplot  is  striving  to  elucidate  my  su 
periority.  I  wish  to  deny  emphatically  any 
thing  you  may  hear  which  is  not  derogatory  to 
my  character.  Without  going  into  details,  I 
may  say  with  all  the  vehemence  of  asseveration, 
176 


BUD" 


PINK    MARSH 

that  I  am  the  most  superior  Afro-American  who 
ever  approached  on  the  rural  highway.  This 
epistle  will  doubtless  remove  all  eccentricities 
from  your  mind,  and  make  you  disposed  to 
regard  me  as  the  proper  recipient  of  gusta 
tory  favors.  Thanking  you  for  your  kind 
attention,  I  am,  with  sufficient  respect,  yours 
truly. " 

While  the  letter  was  being  read,  Pink 
emitted  tremulous  groans,  and  at  the  con 
clusion  he  said,  in  an  awed  whisper:  "  O, 
man!  O,  man!  O,  man!  " 

"  I  did  n't  think  it  was  best  to  deny, 
specifically,  any  of  the  charges  against 
you,"  said  the  morning  customer.  "  I 
simply  put  in  a  general  plea  and  threw  you 
on  the  mercy  of  the  court.  Have  you 
any  changes  to  suggest?  " 

"  Look  heah,  misteh,  why  do  n't  you  ask 
me  to  go  out  an'  change  'e  stahs  in  'e  sky? 
No,  seh;  'at  letteh  's  too  good  faw  any  boy 
my  ej'cation  to  trifle  'ith  it.  When  Mis' 
Hopkins  read  'at,  she  '11  know  I  'm  good. 
177 


PINK    MARSH 

I  can  jus'  see  myse'f  eatin'  Sunday  dinneh 
up  at  'at  house." 

u  You  've  never  eaten  up  there  yet,  eh?" 

"  I  do  n'  daih  to,  misteh;  no,  seh." 

"  Why  not?  " 

"I'm  'fraid  of  'at  ol'  guhl.  She's 
f 'om  Kentucky,  an'  she  knows  too  much. 
I  'm  'fraid  she  'd  cunjuh  me,  suah." 

"  Conjure  you?  What  does  that 
mean?  " 

"  Hush,  misteh,  you  know  what  'at 
means  betteh 'an  I  do  —  a  man  yo'  ej'ca- 
tion." 

"  I  assure  you  that  I  do  n't  know.  How 
could  Mrs.  Hopkins  conjure  you?  " 

"  Well,  misteh,  I  do  n'  hahdly  b'lieve  it 
myse'f,  but  I  heah  them  Southehn  cullud 
people  tell  'bout  puttin'  'at  stuff  in  yo' 
eatin',  an'  it  make  someping  grow  inside  o' 
you  —  someping  like  lizahd." 

"  O,  pshaw!  You  do  n't  believe  all 
that  stuff,  do  you?  " 

"  Look  heah,  misteh  man,  some  of  'em 
178 


PINK    MARSH 

oP  cullud  people  'at 's  lived  down  South 
can  use  you  bad  if  you  ain'  caihful.  Bud 
Law'ence  toP  me  he  saw  man  in  Ken 
tucky  'at  got  cunjuhed  by  an  oP  cullud 
lady,  an'  he  had  to  sen'  to  Loueyville  faw  oP 
cullud  doctah.  Doctah  come  an'  dig  all 
'em  roots  an'  'uhbs  an'  make  tea  faw  'at  cul 
lud  man,  an'  he  toss  up  two  white  lizahds. 
'At 's  what  Bud  seen  'ith  his  own  eyes." 
"  How  did  these  lizards  get  into  him?  " 
"  My  goodness!  He  got  cunjuhed,  mis- 
teh  —  at 's  how  he  got  'em.  He  had  fuss 
'ith  an  oP  cullud  lady,  an'  she  put  'at  cun- 
juh  stuff  in  his  dinneh.  Yes,  seh,  you  can 
laugh,  misteh,  but  'ey 's  sutny  someping  in 
'at  cunjuh  business.  Look  heah,  seh, 
did  n'  you  eveh  put  hoss-haih  into  bottle 
an'  see  it  tuhn  into  snake?  Yes,  seh,  I 
seen  'at  myse'f.  'At 's  what  'em  cunjuh 
people  do  —  put  someping  like  'at  into  yo' 
victuals,  an'  it  get  inside  o'  you,  an'  you 
begin  feelin'  bad  an'  get  thinneh  an'  thin- 
neh,  an'  if  you  do  n'  get  'at  boy  out  o'you 
179 


PINK    MARSH 

—  goin'  'o  have  a  black  beh'yin,  suah. 
Yes,  seh,  'em  cunjuh  people  come  an'  plant 
someping.in  front  o'  yo*  house,  too.  You 
walk  oveh  it  ev'y  day,  an'  afteh  while  you 
get  sick,  an'  fus'  thing  you  know  you  jus' 
tuhn  up  yo'  toes.  I  do  n'  want  nothin'  to 
do  'ith  'em  cunjuh  people." 

u  Well,  do  you  think  Mrs.  Hopkins  has 
the  power  to  conjure  you?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  most  any  o'  'em  ol'  cullud 
ladies  f'om  'e  South  got  'at  poweh.  OP 
Pink  sutny  ain'  goin'  'o  eat  no  dinneh  in 
'at  house  'til  he  knows  'at  Mis'  Hopkins 
likes  him.  She  's  been  talkin'  bad  'bout 
me,  an'  I  go  to  'at  house  an'  eat  —  you 
do  n'  know  what  she  do  to  me! " 

"  Have  n't  you  got  your  rabbit's  foot?  " 

"  Yes,  seh,  you  can  laugh,  misteh,  but 
don't  you  fool  yo'se'f  'bout  'at  cunjuh'n. 
Someping  in  it,  suah." 

Pink  shook  his  head  solemnly,  and  ap 
peared  to  be  somewhat  grieved  that  the 
morning  customer  went  away  laughing. 
180 


TOO  SICK  TO  WUHK" 


On  the   Doubts  which   Precede 
Matrimony 

Pink  Marsh  reported  to  the  morning 
customer  that  the  letter  to  Mrs.  Hopkins 
had  accomplished  its  purpose. 

"  She  ain't  th'ough  lookin'  oveh  'at 
letteh  yet,"  he  said,  shaking  his  head  and 
bubbling  with  laughter.  "  OP  Zig,  he 
did  n'  eveh  b'lieve  I  wrote  it.  He  tell 
Belle  to  ask  me  who  wrote  'at  letteh.  1 
say,  '  Look  it  oveh,  guhl,  an*  see  whose 
name  's  down  at  'e  bottom.'  My  good 
ness,  misteh !  'At  letteh  did  suit  oP  Mis' 
Hopkins!  She  likes 'em  hot  wuhds,  just 
'e  kind  you  put  in  'at  letteh.  Yes,  seh, 
when  Brotheh  Fehguson  up  at  'e  chuhch 
begin  to  toss  'em  hot  wuhds  at  'e  brethe'n 
an'  sistuhn,  'at 's  when  ol'  Mis'  Hopkins 
begin  to  get  happy  an'  let  go." 
181 


PINK    MARSH 

"  You  do  n't  think  she  '11  conjure  you 
now?" 

"  Cunjuh  me,  misteh  ?  Pink  is  huh 
honey-boy  now — suah!  She  likes  me 
now,'cuz  she  find  out  I  got  wahm  ej'cation. 
All  'at  talk  'bout  'medimate  justamisition — " 

"  c  Immediate  juxtaposition  '  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh ;  'at  's  what  win  oP  Mis' 
Hopkins.  She  's  sutny  usin'  me  good  'ese 
days.  '  Misteh  Mahsh,  I  hope  yo'  feelin' 
ambulous  'iss  ev'nin*.  '  O  yes,  Mis'  Hop 
kins,  I  'm  ve'y  lansimous." 

tc  You  did  n't  tell  her  you  were  lansi 
mous,  did  you  ?  " 

"  W'y  —  yes  seh.  I  jus'  say  like  'at, 
c  I'm  feelin'  ratheh  lansimous.'  " 

"  c  Lansimous  '  means  that  you  are  suf 
fering  from  remorse  —  that  you  've  got 
something  on  your  mind." 

"  Yes,  seh  ;  'at 's  so,  misteh;  but  Mis' 
Hopkins  she  did  n'  know  what  'at  meant. 
I  s'pose  she  thought  I  jus'  meant  I  wuz 
feelin'  well." 

182 


OL1   ZIG" 


PINK    MARSH 

"  So  you  're  welcome  to  the  house 
now?" 

"  Hush,  man  !  Las'  night  an*  night 
befo'.  Settin'  on  'e  front  steps  'ith  my 
sweet  thing,  an'  holdin'  on  to  huh  so  she 
would  n'  get  lost.  O,  I  guess  she  's 
pooh,"  and  Pink  hit  the  box  with  his 
polishing-brush  and  laughed  immoderately. 

u  Well,  if  Mrs.  Hopkins  is  won  over 
and  Belle  loves  you,  I  do  n't  see  that  there 
is  anything  to  prevent  an  early  union." 

"  You  mean  faw  us  to  get  mah'ied  ?" 

"  Why,  certainly.  You  've  been  court 
ing  this  girl  for  several  weeks,  have  n't 
you  ?  You  say  she  loves  you,  and,  accord 
ing  to  your  own  admission,  you  have 
visited  her  at  her  home  and  sat  on  the 
front  steps  with  her  —  probably  embraced 
her." 

Pink  was  bent  over  the  shoe,  quivering 
with  laughter  at  the  recital. 

u  I  have  helped  you  to  win  the  favor  of 
the  young  lady's  mother,"  continued  the 
183 


PINK    MARSH 

morning  customer.  "  Now  that  the  girl 
and  her  mother  trust  you,  are  you  going  to 
betray  that  trust  ?  You  talk  as  if  you 
did  n't  intend  to  marry  her  at  all." 

"  Look  heah,  misteh,"  said  Pink,  still 
bubbling  with  laughter,  "  what  you  think 
we  goin'  'o  live  on  —  buck  dances  ?  In 
'e  fus'  place,  'at  maih'age  license  cost  two 
dollahs.  I  ain't  even  got  nasty  ol*  two, 
no,  seh  !  How  'bout  'em  lace  cuhtains 
faw  windows,  an'  pohk-chops  to  eat  ev'y 
mawnin'  ?  Huh-uh!  Can 't  get  mah'ied 
till  I  got  'at  roll." 

"  About  the  first  time  I  ever  came  into 
this  shop,  six  months  ago,  I  advised  you 
to  begin  saving  your  money.  If  you  had 
started  in  and  saved  two  dollars  a  week, 
you  would  have  had  fifty  or  sixty  dollars 
by  this  time.  With  that  much  you  could 
have  bought  a  new  suit  of  clothes,  rented 
a  house  and  made  a  first  payment  on  some 
furniture.  As  it  is,  how  much  have  you 
this  morning  ?  " 

184 


DRIVES  CAIH'AGE" 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Misteh,  if  'ey  had  n't  rung  in  bosses 
on  me  las'  night,  I  'd  have  sev'al  dollahs 
'iss  mawnin'." 

"  So  you  've  been  playing  craps  again  ? 
That  was  after  your  call  on  Miss  Hopkins, 
I  presume." 

"  Yes,  seh ;  I  had  'em  comin'  good, 
but  little  Joe  use  me  bad,  an'  somebody 
get  in  bosses,  an'  'en  a  big  cullud  fellow 
'at  drives  caih'age  jus'  took  me  'way  in  his 
cloze.  01'  Gawge  Lippincott  went  broke, 
too." 

"  Well,  there  you  are  again  —  gam 
bling  ?  Does  this  girl  know  that  you 
gamble  ?  " 

"  She  do  n'  caih  how  much  I  gamble,  if 
I  on'y  pull  out  someping.  Co'se  she  got 
no  use  faw  man  'at 's  cleaned  all  'e  time. 
You  got  to  flash  two-bit  piece  once  in 
awhile  to  keep  'em  smilin'." 

"  Well,  what  will  be  the  outcome  of 
this  affair  with  Miss  Hopkins?  If  you 


185 


PINK    MARSH 

do  n't  intend  to  marry  her,  why  have  you 
pursued  her  ? " 

"Look  heah,  misteh,  I  don'  say  I  won't 
mah'y  'at  Miss  Belle  Hopkins.  I  s'pose 
I  might  if  I  had  mo'  money ;  but  you 
know  what  I  say  to  you  heah  one  day  — 
cake-walks  is  good,  but  you  sutny  can't 
eat  'em.  If  I  jus'  get  on  good  live  one 
some  time,  'bout  fawty  to  one,  an'  play 
five  dollahs  —  hush,  misteh  !  We  be  livin' 
in  one  of  'em  white  houses  'ith  blue  cuh- 
tains  in  'e  windows,  an'  all  'em  red  velvet 
sofys  an'  chaihs,  wall-papeh  covehed  'ith 
mawnin'-glo'ies,  Brussel  cahpet  on  'e 
flooh— " 

u  Picture  of  Peter  Jackson  in  the  par 
lor,'*  suggested  the  morning  customer. 

Pink  yawped  at  the  idea,  and  leaned 
forward  on  the  box  in  a  convulsion  of 
mirth. 

u  Misteh,  yo'  sutny  good  !  Yes,  seh  ; 
we  got  to  have  oP  Peteh.  My  goodness  ! 
'At 's  fine  house  I  got,  suah  !  I  can  jus' 
1 86 


PINK    MARSH 

see  myse'f  settin'  in  'at  house  eatin' 
chicken  'ith  home  gravy  —  betteh'n  any 
of  'iss  heah  rest'ant  gravy,  too  !  Home 
gravy  an'  sweet  potatoes  !  My  goodness  ! 
I  jus'  lingeh  'round  'e  table  an'  make 
trouble  faw  'at  kind  o'  eatin',  I  s'pose.  I 
guess  I  jus'  hate  'at  home  gravy.  Um- 
m-m-m  !  It 's  ba-a-d  !  " 

By  this  time  Pink  was  talking  to  him 
self  and  wagging  his  head  gravely.  The 
morning  customer  interrupted  the  solil 
oquy,  and  said  "I'm  afraid  you  '11  never 
realize  your  expectations,  unless  you  stop 
playing  craps." 

"  Some  day  I  '11  get  'em  goin',  an'  I  '11 
have  all  'e  money  on  'e  South  Side.  Yes, 
seh  ;  '  Keep  on  a-tryin',  brotheh,'  'at  's  jus' 
what  Preacheh  Fehguson  says.  You  '11 
see,  misteh.  I  jus'  feel  'at  I  got  money 
comin'  to  me." 

The  morning  customer  went  away,  leav 
ing  Pink  cheered  and  uplifted  by  the  abid 
ing  pleasures  of  hope. 
187 


On  Doing  the  Best  One  Can 

"  He  come  in  here  yesterday  smokin'  a 
big  cigar  and  all  dressed  up  in  his  best 
clothes,  and  said  he  'd  quit  —  said  he  had 
something  better." 

Mr.  Clifford  was  speaking.  The  morn 
ing  customer  stood  in  hesitancy,  looking 
at  the  half-grown  colored  youth  who  sat  on 
Pink's  stool  in  the  corner,  humped  above 
a  patent-leather  shoe  which  had  the  shape 
of  a  sword-fish. 

"You  don't  know  where  he  went  ?" 
asked  the  morning  customer. 

"  No,  and  I  do  n't  care.  I  won't  have 
him  around  here  again.  This  new  boy  's 
all  right.  He  '11  give  you  a  good  shine." 

Mr.  Clifford  evidently  believed  that  the 
morning  customer  had  been  coming  into 
the  place  to  have  his  shoes  shined! 
1 88 


PINK    MARSH 

The  morning  customer  murmured  a 
falsehood  to  the  effect  that  he  might 
"come  in  later,"  and  then  he  retreated, 
before  Mr.  Clifford  could  say  anything 
more  in  favor  of  the  new  boy. 

That  was  his  last  visit  to  the  shop.  He 
rather  expected  to  receive  a  communica 
tion  from  Pink,  but  no  postal-card  came, 
and,  to  tell  the  truth,  after  a  few  days  had 
passed,  he  gave  no  further  thought  to  the 
u  lansimous "  boy  and  his  quest  for  a 
"baby." 

In  a  busy  town,  such  as  Chicago,  ex 
periences  crowd  upon  one  another,  and 
every  live  man  of  the  morning-customer 
kind  is  so  intent  on  making  his  fortune 
that  he  has  little  time  to  tilt  back  and 
wonder  what  has  become  of  the  friends  of 
yesterday.  Within  a  month  after  the  dis 
appearance,  the  season  of  helpful  talks 
with  Pink  became  ancient  history.  The 
morning  customer  hurried  past  Mr.  Clif 
ford's  shop  day  after  day,  without  seeing  it 
189 


PINK   MARSH 

or  knowing  of  its  existence.  He  would 
be  whispering  to  himself  the  terms  of  a 
contract,  or  squinting  through  his  glasses 
to  see  into  the  plans  of  those  who  wanted 
to  keep  him  away  from  his  fortune.  To 
such  a  man,  buildings  fuse  into  one  an 
other  as  they  slide  by  in  panorama,  and 
pedestrians  are  so  many  things  to  be 
dodged.  The  morning  customer  raced 
every  day.  He  went  to  a  "  parlor "  to 
have  his  shoes  cleaned.  Twelve  white 
boys  in  blue  jackets  leaned  over  in  a  row 
and  worked  at  high  speed.  They  seldom 
spoke  to  the  men  in  the  chairs,  who  re 
garded  one  another  with  fretful  suspicion, 
and  turned  their  morning  papers  over  and 
over  and  inside  out. 

It  would  be  satisfying  to  know  that  the 
morning  customer  often  smiled  at  recol 
lection  of  what  Pink  had  told  him,  and 
wondered  if  the  boy  had  saved  any  money. 

He  had  not  the  time.  That  is  the  fact 
of  the  matter.  He  was  jumping  with 
190 


PINK    MARSH 

elevators,  a  hundred  feet  at  an  upward 
leap ;  racing  to  court-rooms,  where  he 
messed  papers  and  whispered  with  hollow- 
eyed  accomplices;  and  sometimes  he  went 
out  of  town  on  night  trains,  so  as  to 
avoid  the  deadly  sin  of  traveling  during 
business  hours. 

One  night  he  boarded  a  train  at  a  sub 
urban  crossing.  The  train  was  bound 
for  Kansas  City.  In  the  sleeping-car  the 
berths  were  "  made  up."  He  went  along 
the  narrow  aisle  between  the  stuffy  cur 
tains  to  where  a  porter  with  a  white  coat 
was  whispering  to  some  hidden  passenger. 
He  nudged  the  porter  from  behind. 

"  My  goodness,  misteh  !  " 

It  was  Pink. 

"  Any  lowers  left  ?  "  asked  the  morning 
customer,  closing  his  teeth  together  in  the 
endeavor  to  keep  a  serious  face. 

"  Well,  my  goodness,  misteh  !  Well, 
seh,  it 's  you,  suah  !  My  goodness  !  I  'm 
sutny  glad  to  see  you  once  mo'.  I  declaih!" 
191 


PINK   MARSH 

u  I  did  n't  expect  to  see  you,  Pink. 
Have  you  a  lower  berth." 

"  Misteh,  if  I  did  n'  have  none,  I  'd 
jus'  tuhn  somebody  out  an'  let  you  have 
it.  My  goodness  !  Well !  Well !  " 

"Where  's  the  conductor." 

"  Yes,  seh,  he  's  in  'e  cah  ahead,  seh." 

"  Well,  I  '11  sit  in  the  smoking-room 
a  while." 

He  went  into  the  smoking  compart 
ment  and  lighted  a  cigar.  A  short  man 
with  jewelry  and  a  silk  cap  had  been  hold 
ing  the  compartment  alone.  He  looked 
up,  as  if  in  annoyance,  when  the  morning 
customer  came  in,  and  then  threw  away 
his  cigar  and  rocked  away  to  bed. 

The  morning  customer  sprawled  out  on 
the  plush  cushion  and  smoked.  He 
grinned  around  his  cigar,  and  once  or 
twice  he  laughed  aloud.  Presently  Pink 
slipped  in  and  sat  on  a  low  stool.  He 
looked  steadfastly  at  the  morning  customer 


192 


FANNIE 


PINK    MARSH 

for  many  seconds,  his  eyes  rolled  sidewise, 
and  then  he  burst  into  laughter. 

u  Well,  my  goodness  !  "   he  said. 

"  You  're  a  real  porter,  now." 

"  Me  an'  Misteh  Pullman's  'e  real  boys, 
suah.  No  mo'  settin*  round  'ith  'em 
white  bahbehs.  Huh-uh  !  " 

He  paused  and  looked  at  the  morning 
customer  in  blissful  silence,  and  then 
gave  another  bellow  of  laughter,  so  that 
he  had  to  restrain  himself  by  putting  one 
hand  over  his  mouth. 

"What's  the  matter  with  you,  any 
way  ? "  asked  the  morning  customer, 
leaning  forward  so  as  to  make  himself 
heard  above  the  pounding  of  the  train. 

"  Misteh,  someping  happen  to  me  since 
I  seen  you." 

"  What  was  it  ?  " 

"  Make  a  guess,  misteh,"  and  he  was 
still  laughing. 

"  I  know,  all  right.  Did  you  go  and 
do  it  ? " 

J93 


PINK    MARSH 

"  Look  out,  misteh  !  Do  n't  ask  !  Ol' 
Misteh  Mahsh  mah'ied  man." 

The  morning  customer  smiled  benevo 
lently.  "  Glad  to  hear  it,"  said  he. 
"What  was  her  name  —  Belle  ?  " 

"Who?  'At  Belle  Hopkins?  No, 
seh  !  Huh-uh  !  I  did  n'  mah'y  'at  guhl." 

«  You  did  n't  ?  " 

"  Look  heah,  misteh  !  Crep'  up  to  'at 
house  one  night  an'  ketch  new  cullud  boy 
'ith  both  ahms  'round  'at  guhl.  I  jus'  say, 
'  Good-by,  my  honey!'  Yes,  seh,  she 
lose  Misteh  Mahsh.  Got  someping  betteh 
'n  'at  Belle.  Got  lady  'at  had  p'opehty. 
Go  'way  !  I  s'pose  I  do  n'  know  thing  !  " 

"  Got  property,  eh  ?  " 

"  Yes,  seh  —  widow." 

"  A  widow  !  " 

u  No  mo'  room-rents,  misteh.  I  jus' 
look  oveh  'at  Mis'  White's  house  an'  say, 
c  O,  I  guess  'iss  '11  do  me.'  I  had  huh 
lovin'  me  befo'  she  know  me  two  days.  I 
went  faw  'at  lady  an'  I  landed  'uh." 
194 


PINK    MARSH 

u  How  long  have  you  been  married? '» 

u  Mo'  'an  a  month." 

"  Is  she  a  young  woman?  " 

u  She  ain't  young  as  some  of  'em  otheh 
babies  I  had  lookin'  out  faw  me,  but  you 
'membeh  what  I  tol'  you  once,  misteh? 
Cake-walks  is  good,  but  you  can  't  eat  'em. 
You  don'  ketch  me  stahvin'.  No,  seh! 
'At  lady  I  got  ain't  so  wahm  on  cloze  as 
some  of  'em,  but  she  sutny  fix  up  a  pohk 
chop  'at 's  bad  to  eat.  'At  love  's  all  right, 
misteh;  but  Misteh  Mahsh  sutny  got  to 
have  his  pohk  chops." 

u  Well,  are  you  saving  any  money? " 

"  Look  heah!  Fannie  takes  'at  money 
'way  f 'om  me  an'  jus'  gives  me  'nough  to 
live  on.  My  goodness,  misteh!  I  sutny 
got  to  hold  out  on  Fannie  when  I  play 
'em  numbehs." 

"  Have  you  caught  anything  yet?  " 

u  No,  seh;  but  I  come  might'  neah  it  las' 
week.     Got    two   of  'em  —  want  fawty- 
eight,  an'  fawty-sevem  come." 
195 


PINK    MARSH 

"  What  became  of  the  other  girl  — 
Belle?  " 

"  Do  n'  ask  me,  misteh!  She  's  nothin' 
to  me  —  no,  seh.  Huh  an'  'at  Lo'ena 
Jackson  —  look  heah!  I'll  have  one  of 
'em  guhls  hiahed  to  wuhk  'round  'e  house 
an'  help  Fannie." 

"  I  thought  you  were  going  to  marry 
Belle." 

"  No,  seh,  I  neveh  caih  faw  'at  guhl  no 
ways.  I  done  betteh!  My  goodness, 
misteh!  I  s'pose  I  'm  pooh.  Got  my  own 
dooh-step  to  set  on,  new  suit  o'  cloze, 
joined  'e  lodge.  Do  n'  speak  to  'em  cheap 
cullud  people  no  mo'.  Goin'  'o  tuhn  in, 
seh?  Jus'  you  put  'em  shoes  outside  an' 
I  '11  give  'em  one  of  'em  ol'  shines  like 
you  use'  to  get." 

The  morning  customer  rolled  into  a 
lower  berth,  and  lay  between  the  cool 
sheets,  smiling  hard  at  the  upper  berth, 
which  Pink  had  lifted  out  of  the  way,  in 
violation  of  a  very  strict  rule.  The  morn- 
196 


PINK    MARSH 

ing  customer  paid  for  a  lower  berth,  and 
owned  a  section.  He  was  trying  to  im 
agine  Pink's  house  —  the  wall-paper,  the 
illuminated  curtains,  the  nickeled  stove  in 
the  front  room,  and  the  picture  of  Abra 
ham  Lincoln.  He  heard  creeping  foot 
falls  just  outside  his  berth,  and  then  a 
voice,  u  Good-night,  seh." 


PRINTED  AT  THE  LAKESIDE  PRESS 

FOR   HERBERT  S.  STONE  &  CO. 

PUBLISHERS,    CHICAGO 


By  the  author  of  «  PINK    MARSH  " 
£ 

/\  IV  JL   1  JlL  I      A  Story  of  the  Streets  and  Town. 
By    GEORGE    ADE.    With  many  illustrations  by 

John  T.  McCutcheon.      i6mo,  $1.25 

Ninth  thousand. 


"Mr.  Ade  shows  all  the  qualities  of  a  successful  nov 
elist."—  Chicago  Tribune. 

"  Artie  is  a  character,  and  George  Ade  has  limned 
him  deftly,  as  well  as  amusingly.  Under  his  rollicking 
abandon  and  recklessness  we  are  made  to  feel  the  real 
sense  and  sensitiveness  and  the  worldly  wisdom  of  a 
youth  whose  only  language  is  that  of  a  street-gamin. 
As  a  study  of  the  peculiar  type  chosen,  it  is  both  typical 
and  inimitable."—  Detroit  Free  Press. 

"  It  is  brimful  of  fun  and  picturesque  slang.  Nobody 
will  be  any  the  worse  for  reading  about  Artie,  if  he  does 
talk  slang.  He's  a  good  fellow  at  heart,  and  Mamie 
Carroll  is  the  '  making  of  him.'  He  talks  good  sense  and 
good  morality,  and  these  things  haven't  yet  gone  out 
of  style,  even  in  Chicago."—  New  York  Recorder. 

"  Well  -  meaning    admirers    have    compared   Artie  to  ~\ 
Chimmie  Fadden,  but  Mr.  Townsend's  creation,  excellent       \ 
as  it  is,  cannot  be  said  to  be  entirelv  free  from  exaggera-        \ 
tion.     The  hand  of  Chimmie  Fadden's  maker   is  to  be 
discerned  at  times.    And  just  here  Artie  is  particularly        / 
strong  — he  is  always  Artie,  and  Mr.  Ade  is  always  con-      / 
cealed,  and  never  obtrudes  his  peisonality."—  Chicago  / 
Post. 

"  George  Ade  is   a  writer,    the   direct  antithesis  of  \ 
Stephen  Crane.    In  'Artie'  he  has  given  the  world  a  story    \ 
of  the  streets  at  once  wholesome,  free,  and  stimulating.     ) 
The  world  is  filled  with   people  like  'Artie'   Blanchard 
and  his  'girl,'  'Mamie'  Carroll,  and  the  story  of  their  lives,     f 
their  hopes,  and   dreams,    and    loves,  is  immeasurably     / 
more  wholesome  than  all  the  stories  like  'George's  Moth-   / 
er'  that  could  be  written  by  an  army  of  the  writers  who  / 
call  themselves  realists."— Editorial,  Albany  Evening 
Journal. 

To  be  had  of  all  booksellers,  or  will  be  sent,  post-paid,  on 
receipt  of  price  by  the  Publishers. 


(CATALOGUE • OF  -  BOOKS 
^  IN  -  BELLES  •  LETTRES 


Chicago 


New  York 


MDCCCXCVII 


MESSRS.  HERBERT  S.  STONE  & 
COMPANY  TAKE  PLEASURE  IN 
ANNOUNCING  THE  FOLLOWING 
PUBLICATIONS  AS  IN  PREPARA 
TION: 


The  next  novel  by  Harold  Frederic, 

Author  of  "The  Damnation  of  Theron 
Ware." 

"  Dross,"  a  novel  by  Henry  Seton  Merriman. 
Author  of  "  The  Sowers,"  etc. 

And  new  books  by  George  Ade,  author  of 
"  Artie,"  and  Henry  M.  Blossom,  Jr., 
Author  of  "Checkers." 

Further  particulars  will  be  given  later. 


LONDON  OFFICE:  10  NORFOLK.  ST., STRAND. 

CABLE  ADDRESSES  : 
"  CHAPBOOK,  CHICAGO." 
"  CHAPBOOK,  NEW  YORK." 
"  EDITORSHIP,  LONDON." 


March,  mdcccxcvii 

THE  PUBLICATIONS  OF 
HERBERT  S.  STONE 
&  CO.  THE  CHAP-BOOK 

CAXTON  BUILDING,  CHICAGO 
in  FIFTH  AVENUE,  NEW  YORK 

Ade,  George. 

ARTIE:  A  Story  of  the  Streets  and  of  the 
Town.  With  many  pictures  by  JOHN  T. 
McCuTCHEON.  i6mo.  $1.25. 

Ninth  thousand. 

"Mr.  Ade  shows  all  the  qualities  of  a  successful 
novelist."  —  Chicago  Tribune. 

"  Artie  is  a  character,  and  George  Ade  has 
limned  him  deftly  as  well  as  amusingly.  Under 
his  rollicking  abandon  and  recklessness  we  are 
made  to  feel  the  real  sense  and  sensitiveness,  and 
the  worldly  wisdom  of  a  youth  whose  only  lan 
guage  is  that  of  a  street-gamin.  As  a  study  of  the 
peculiar  type  chosen,  it  is  both  typical  and  inimi 
table." — Detroit  Free  Press. 

"It  is  brimful  of  fun  and  picturesque  slang. 
Nobody  will  be  any  the  worse  for  reading  about 
Artie,  if  he  does  talk  slang.  He's  a  good  fellow 
at  heart,  and  Mamie  Carroll  is  the  '  making  of 
him.'  He  talks  good  sense  and  good  morality,  and 
these  things  have  n't  yet  gone  out  of  style,  even  in 
Chicago." — Ne-vu  Tork  Recorder. 

"Well-meaning  admirers  have  compared  Artie 


to  Chimmie  Fadden,  but  Mr.  Townsend's  creation, 
excellent  as  it  is,  cannot  be  said  to  be  entirely  free 
from  exaggeration.  The  hand  of  Chimmie  Fad- 
den's  maker  is  to  be  discerned  at  times.  And  just 
here  Artie  is  particularly  strong — he  is  always 
Artie,  and  Mr.  Ade  is  always  concealed,  and  never 
obtrudes  his  personality." — Chicago  Post. 

"George  Ade  is  a  writer,  the  direct  antithesis  of 
Stephen  Crane.  In  '  Artie  '  he  has  given  the  world 
a  story  of  the  streets  at  once  wholesome,  free,  and 
stimulating.  The  world  is  filled  with  people  like 
'  Artie '  Blanchard  and  his  '  girl,'  '  Mamie '  Carroll, 
and  the  story  of  their  lives,  their  hopes,  and 
dreams,  and  loves,  is  immeasurably  more  whole 
some  than  all  the  stories  like  'George's  Mother ' 
that  could  be  written  by  an  army  of  the  writers 
who  call  themselves  realists." — Editorial  Albany 
Evening"  Journal. 

Benham,  Charles. 

THE  FOURTH  NAPOLEON:  A  Romance. 
i2mo.  $1.50. 

An  accurate  account  of  the  history  of  the  Fourth 
Napoleon,  the  coup  d  'etat  which  places  him  on 
the  throne  of  France,  the  war  with  Germany,  and 
his  love  intrigues  as  emperor.  A  vivid  picture  of 
contemporary  politics  in  Paris. 

Blossom,  Henry  M.,  Jr. 

CHECKERS  :  A  Hard-Luck  Story.  By 
the  author  of"  The  Documents  in  Evi 
dence."  i6mo.  $1.25.  Seventh  edition. 

11  Abounds  in  the  most  racy  and  picturesque 
slang." — New  York  Recorder. 

'"Checkers'  is  an  interesting  and  entertaining 


chap,  a  distinct  type,  with  a  separate  tongue  and  a 
way  of  saying  things  that  is  oddly  humorous." — 
Chicago  Record. 

tf  If  I  had  to  ride  from  New  York  to  Chicago  on 
a  slow  train,  I  should  like  a  half-dozen  books  as 
gladsome  as  '  Checkers,'  and  I  could  laugh  at  the 
trip." — New  York  Commercial  Advertiser. 

"'Checkers'  himself  is  as  distinct  a  creation  as 
Chimmie  Fadden,  and  his  racy  slang  expresses  a 
livelier  wit.  The  racing  part  is  clever  reporting, 
and  as  horsey  and  'up  to  date'  as  any  one  could 
ask.  The  slang  of  the  racecourse  is  caught  with 
skill  and  is  vivid  and  picturesque,  and  students  of 
the  byways  of  language  may  find  some  new  gems 
of  colloquial  speech  to  add  to  their  lexicons." — 
Springfield  Republican. 

Chap-Book  Essays. 

A  VOLUME  OF  REPRINTS  FROM  THE 
CHAP-BOOK.  Contributions  by  T.  W. 
HIGGINSON,  H.  W.  MABIE,  LOUISE 
CHANDLER  MOULTON,  H.  H.  BOYE- 
SEN,  EDMUND  GOSSE,  JOHN  BURROUGHS, 
NORMAN  HAPGOOD,  MRS.  REGINALD 
DE  KOVEN,  LOUISE  IMOGEN  GUINEY, 
LEWIS  E.  GATES,  ALICE  MORSE  EARLE, 
LAURENCE  JERROLD,  RICHARD  HENRY 
STODDARD,  EVE  BLANTYRE  SIMPSON, 
and  MAURICE  THOMPSON,  with  a  cover 
designed  by  A.  E.  BORIE.  i6mo.  $1.25. 


Chap-Book  Stories. 

A  VOLUME  OF    REPRINTS    FROM    THE 

CHAP-BOOK.     Contributions  by   OCTAVE 

THANET,  GRACE  ELLERY   CHANNING, 

MARIA  LOUISE  POOL,  and  Others.   i6mo. 

$1.25.  Second  editlo n . 

The  authors  of  this  volume  are   all  American. 

Besides   the   well-known  names,  there  are    some 

which  were  seen  in  the  CHAP-BOOK  for  the  first 

time.     The  volume  is  bound  in  an  entirely  new 

and  startling  fashion. 

Chatfield-Taylor,  H.  C. 

THE  LAND  OF  THE  CASTANET:   Span 
ish    Sketches,  with     twenty -five  full-page 
illustrations.      I2mo.      $1.25. 
"Gives  the  reader  an  insight   into  the    life  of 
Spain    at  the   present  time   which  he  cannot  get 
elsewhere." — Cincinnati  Commercial  Tribune. 

"Mr.  Chatfield-Taylor's  word-painting  of  special 
events — the  bull-fight,  for  instance — is  vivid  and 
well-colored.  He  gets  at  the  national  character 
very  well  indeed,  and  we  feel  that  we  know  our 
Spain  better  by  reason  of  his  handsome  little 
book." — Boston  Traveler. 

"  He  writes  pleasantly  and  impartially,  and  very 
fairly  sums  up  the  Spanish  character.  .  .  .  Mr. 
Taylor's  book  is  well  illustrated,  and  is  more  read- 
able  than  the  reminiscences  of  the  average  globe 
trotter."— New  Tork  Sun. 


D'Annunzio,  Gabriele. 

EPISCOPO  AND  COMPANY.  Translated 
by  Myrta  Leonora  Jones.  i6mo.  $1.25. 

Second  edition. 

Gabriele  d'Annunzio  is  the  best-known  and 
most  gifted  of  modern  Italian  novelists.  His  work 
is  making  a  great  sensation  at  present  in  all  lite 
rary  circles.  The  translation  now  offered  gives 
the  first  opportunity  English-speaking  readers 
have  had  to  know  him  in  their  own  language. 

De  Fontenoy,  The  Marquise. 

EVE'S  GLOSSARY.  By  the  author  of  "ghieer 
Sprigs  of  Gentility  "  with  decorations  in 
two  colors  by  FRANK  HAZENPLUG.  fto. 

Nearly  ready. 

An  amusing  volume  of  gossip  and  advice  for 
gentlewomen.  It  treats  of  health,  costume,  and 
entertainments;  exemplifies  by  reference  to  noted 
beauties  of  England  and  the  Continent;  and  is 
embellished  with  decorative  borders  of  great 
charm. 

Earle,  Alice  Morse. 

CURIOUS  PUNISHMENTS  OF  BYGONE 
DAYS,  with  twelve  quaint  pictures  and  a 
cover  design  by  FRANK  HAZENPLUG. 
I2mo.  $1.50. 

"  In  this  dainty  little  volume,  Alice  Morse  Earle 
has  done  a  real  service,  not  only  to  present  read 
ers,  but  to  future  students  of  bygone  customs.  To 
come  upon  all  the  information  that  is  here  put 
into  readable  shape, one  would  be  obliged  to  search 

7 


through  many  ancient  and  cumbrous  records." — 
Boston  Transcript. 

"  Mrs.  Alice  Morse  Earle  has  made  a  diverting 
and  edifying  book  in  her 'Curious  Punishments 
of  Bygone  Days,'  which  is  published  in  a  style  of 
quaintness  befitting  the  theme." — New  "  York 
Tribune 

"This  light  and  entertaining  volume  is  the  most 
recent  of  Mrs.  Earle's  popular  antiquarian  sketches, 
and  will  not  fail  to  amuse  and  mildly  instruct 
readers  who  love  to  recall  the  grim  furnishings  and 
habits  of  previous  centuries,  without  too  much 
serious  consideration  of  the  root  from  which  they 
sprang,  the  circumstances  in  which  they  flour 
ished,  or  the  uses  they  served." — The  Independent. 

Hichens,  Robert. 

FLAMES  :  A  novel.  By  the  author  of  "A 
Green  Carnation"  "An  Imaginative 
Man?  "The  Folly  of  Eustace^  etc.,  with 
a  cover-design  by  F.  R.  KlMBROUGH. 
I2mo.  $1.50. 

Mr.  Hichens's  reputation  has  steadily  increased 
since  the  brilliant  success  of  "  A  Green  Carna 
tion"  first  gave  him  prominence.  His  latest  work 
is  longer  and  more  important  than  anything  he 
has  done  before. 

James,  Henry. 

WHAT  MAISIE  KNEW:  A  novel.    i2mo. 
(In  preparation^ 

Upon  its  completion  in  the  CHAP-BOOK,  Mr. 
Henry  James's  latest  novel  will  be  issued  in  book- 
form.  Its  publication  cannot  fail  to  be  an  event 

8 


of  no  slight  literary  importance,  and  will  be 
worthy  the  attention  of  all  persons  interested  in 
English  and  American  letters. 

Kinross,  Albert. 

THE  FEARSOME  ISLAND  ;  Being  a  mod 
ern  rendering  of  the  narrative  of  one 
Silas  Fordred,  Master  Mariner  of  Hythe, 
whose  shipwreck  and  subsequent  adventures 
are  herein  set  forth.  Also  an  appendix, 
accounting  in  a  rational  manner  for  the 
seeming  marvels  that  Silas  Fordred  en 
countered  during  his  sojourn  on  the  fearsome 
island  of  Don  Diego  Rodriguez.  With  a 
cover  designed  hy  FRANK  HAZENPLUG. 
i6mo.  $1.25. 

Le  Gallienne,  Richard. 

PROSE  FANCIES  :      Second  series.     By   the 
author  of  "  The  Book-Bills  of  Narcissus," 
"The    Quest  of  the    Golden    <?/>/,"   etc. 
With  a  cover  designed  by  FRANK  HAZEN 
PLUG.      i6mo.     $12.5.        Second  edition. 
"In  these  days  of   Beardsley  pictures  and  deca 
dent  novels,  it  is  good  to  find  a  book  as  sweet,  as 
pure,   as  delicate  as    Mr.  Le   Gallienne's." — New 
Orleans  Picayune. 

"'Prose  Fancies'  ought  to  be  in  every  one's 
summer  library,  for  it  is  just  the  kind  of  a  book 
one  loves  to  take  to  some  secluded  spot  to  read 
and  dream  over." — Kansas  City  Times. 


"  There  are  witty  bits  of  sayings  by  the  score, 
and  sometimes  whole  paragraphs  of  nothing  but 
wit.  Somewhere  there  is  a  little  skit  about  '  Scot 
land,  the  country  that  takes  its  name  from  the 
whisky  made  there';  and  the  transposed  proverbs, 
like  'It  is  an  ill  wind  for  the  shorn  lamb,'  and 
'Many  rise  on  the  stepping-stones  of  their  dead 
relations,'  are  brilliant.  'Most  of  us  would  never 
be  heard  of  were  it  not  for  our  enemies,'  is  a  cap 
ital  epigram." — Chicago  Times-Herald. 

"  Mr.  Le  Gallienne  is  first  of  all  a  poet,  and  these 
little  essays,  which  savor  somewhat  of  Lamb,  of 
Montaigne,  of  Lang,  and  of  Birrell,  are  larded 
with  verse  of  exquisite  grace.  He  rarely  ventures 
into  the  grotesque,  but  his  fancy  follows  fair 
paths;  a  certain  quaintness  of  expression  and  the 
idyllic  atmosphere  of  the  book  charm  one  at  the 
beginning  and  carry  one  through  the  nineteen 
1  fancies  '  that  comprise  the  volume." — Chicago 
Record. 

Magruder,  Julia. 

Miss  AYR  OF  VIRGINIA,  AND  OTHER 
STORIES.  By  the  author  of  "The  Princess 
Sonia?  "The  Violet?  etc.  With  a 
cover-design  by  F.  R.  KIMBROUGH.  i6mo. 

$1-25. 

"  By  means  of  original  incident  and  keen  por 
traiture,  '  Miss  Ayr  of  Virginia,  and  Other  Stories,' 
is  made  a  decidedly  readable  collection.  In  the 
initial  tale  the  character  of  the  young  Southern 
girl  is  especially  well  drawn;  Miss  Magruder's 
most  artistic  work,  however,  is  found  at  the  end 
of  the  volume,  under  the  title  '  Once  More.'  " — The 
Outlook. 

"  The  contents  of  *  Miss  Ayr  of  Virginia '  are  not 

10 


less  fascinating  than  the  cover.  .  .  .  These 
tales  .  .  .  are  a  delightful  diversion  for  a 
spare  hour.  They  are  dreamy  without  being  can 
didly  realistic,  and  are  absolutely  refreshing  in 
the  simplicity  of  the  author's  stvle." — Boston 
Herald. 

"Julia  Magruder's  stories  are  so  good  that  one 
feels  like  reading  passages  here  and  there  again 
and  again.  In  the  collection,  'Miss  Ayr  of  Vir 
ginia,  and  Other  Stories,'  she  is  at  her  best,  and 
'  Miss  Ayr  of  Virginia,'  has  all  the  daintiness,  the 
point  and  pith  and  charm  which  the  author  so 
well  commands.  The  portraiture  of  a  sweet,  un 
sophisticated,  pretty,  smart  Southern  girl  is  be 
witching.'  ' — Min  neapolis  Times. 


Malet,  Lucas. 

THE  CARISSIMA:  A  modern  grotesque. 
By  the  author  of  "  The  Wages  of  Sin" 
etc.  I2mo.  $1.50.  Second  edition. 

*^*  This  is  the  first  novel  which  Lucas  Malet 
has  written  since  "The  Wages  of  Sin." 

"The  strongest  piece  of  fiction  written  during 
the  year,  barring  only  the  masters,  Meredith  and 
Thomas  Hardy." — Kansas  City  Star. 

"There  are  no  dull  pages  in  "  The  Carissima,"no 
perfunctory  people.  Every  character  that  goes  in 
and  out  on  the  mimic  stage  is  fully  rounded,  and 
the  central  one  provokes  curiosity,  like  those  of 
that  Sphinx  among  novelists,  Mr.  Henry  James. 
Lucas  Malet  has  caught  the  very  trick  of  James's 
manner,  and  the  likeness  presses  more  than 
once." — Milwaukee  Sentinel. 

"The  interest  throughout  the  story  is  intense 
and  perfectly  sustained.  The  character-drawing 
is  as  good  as  it  can  be.  The  Carissima,  her  father, 

ii 


and  a  journalistic  admirer  are,  in  particular,  abso 
lute  triumphs.  The  book  is  wonderfully  witty, 
and  has  touches  of  genuine  pathos,  more  than  two 
and  more  than  three.  It  is  much  better  than  any 
thing  else  we  have  seen  from  the  same  hand."— 
Pall  Mall  Gazette. 

"Lucas  Malet  has  insight,  strength,  the  gift  of 
satire,  and  a  captivating  brilliance  of  touch;  in 
short,  a  literary  equipment  such  as  not  too  many 
present-day  novelists  are  possessed  of." — London 
Daily  Mail. 

"We  cannot  think  of  readers  as  skipping  a  line 
or  failing  to  admire  the  workmanship,  or  to  be 
deeply  interested,  both  in  the  characters  and  the 
plot.  'Carissima'  is  likely  to  add  to  the  reputa 
tion  of  the  author  of  '  The  Wages  of  Sin.'"—  Glas 
gow  Herald. 

Moore,  F.  Frankfort. 

THE     IMPUDENT    COMEDIAN     AND 
OTHERS.      Illustrated.      I2mo.      $1.50. 

Several  of  the  stories  have  appeared  in  the 
CHAP-BOOK;  others  are  now  published  for  the 
first  time.  They  all  relate  to  seventeenth  and 
eighteenth  century  characters — NellGwynn,  Kitty 
Clive,  Oliver  Goldsmith,  Dr.  Johnson,  and  David 
Garrick.  They  are  bright,  witty,  and  dramatic. 

THE  JESSAMY  BRIDE  :     A   Novel.     By    the 
author    of    "The     Impudent     Comedian." 

I2mo.     $1.50. 

A  novel  of  great  interest,  introducing  as  its  chief 
characters  Goldsmith,  Johnson,  Garrick,  Sir 
Joshua  Reynolds  and  others.  It  is  really  a  com 
panion  volume  to  "The  Impudent  Comedian," 

12 


Morrison,  Arthur. 

A  CHILD  OF  THE  JAGO.  By  the  author 
of "  Tales  of  Mean  Streets."  I2mo. 
$1.50.  Second  edition . 

*#*This,  the  first  long  story  which  Mr.  Morrison 
has  written,  is,  like  his  remarkable  "Tales  of 
Mean  Streets,"  a  realistic  study  of  East  End  life. 

"The  power  and  art  of  the  book  are  beyond 
question." — Hartford  Courant. 

"  It  is  one  of  the  most  notable  books  of  the 
year." — Chicago  Daily  News. 

"'A  Child  of  the  Jago'  will  prove  one  of  the 
immediate  and  great  successes  of  the  season." — 
Boston  Times. 

"  Since  Daniel  Defoe,  no  such  consummate 
master  of  realistic  fiction  has  arisen  among  us  as 
Mr.  Arthur  Morrison.  Hardly  any  praise  could 
be  too  much  for  the  imaginative  power  and  artis 
tic  perfection  and  beauty  of  this  picture  of  the  de 
praved  and  loathsome  phases  of  human  life. 
There  is  all  of  Defoe's  fidelity  of  realistic  detail, 
suffused  with  the  light  and  warmth  of  a  genius 
higher  and  purer  than  Defoe's." — Scotsman. 

"It  more  than  fulfills  the  promise  of  'Tales  of 
Mean  Streets' — it  makes  you  confident  that  Mr. 
Morrison  has  yet  better  work  to  do.  The  power 
displayed  is  magnificent,  and  the  episode  of  the 
murder  of  Weech, '  fence  '  and  '  nark,'  and  of  the 
capture  and  trial  of  his  murderer,  is  one  that 
stamps  itself  upon  the  memory  as  a  thing  done 
once  and  for  all.  Perrott  in  the  dock,  or  as  he 
awaits  the  executioner,  is  a  fit  companion  of  Fagin 
condemned.  The  book  cannot  but  confirm  the 
admirers  of  Mr.  Morrison's  remarkable  talent  in 
the  opinions  they  formed  on  reading 'Tales  of 
Mean  Streets.'  "—Black  and  White. 


"Mr.  Morrison  has  achieved  an  astonishing  suc 
cess.  Take  it  as  a  whole,  as  a  picture  of  a  phase 
of  life,  and  you  must  admit  that  it  is  a  masterly 
achievement — a  triumph  of  art.  It  is  a  distinct 
advance  upon  his  earlier  book,  'Tales  of  Mean 
Streets,'  because,  it  seems  to  us,  it  is  truer,  more 
convincing,  less  dispiriting.  The  biggest  thing 
in  the  book  is  the  description  of  him  after  the 
murder,  and  when  he  is  on  trial.  It  is  a  wonder 
ful  bit  of  psychology;  done  so  simply,  and  appar 
ently  without  any  eye  to  effect,  but  overpower- 
ingly  convincing.  The  book  is  a  masterpiece." — 
Pall  Mall  Gazette. 

Pool,  Maria  Louise. 

IN  BUNCOMBE  COUNTY.    i6mo.    $1.25. 

Second  edition. 

"  '  In  Buncombe  County  '  is  bubbling  over  with 
merriment — one  could  not  be  blue  with  such  a 
companion  for  an  hour." — Boston  Times. 

"  Maria  Louise  Pool  is  a  joy  forever,  principally 
because  she  so  nobly  disproves  the  lurking  theory 
that  women  are  born  destitute  of  humor.  Hers  is 
not  acquired;  it  is  the  real  thing.  'In  Buncombe 
County  '  is  perfect  with  its  quiet  appreciation  of 
the  humorous  side  of  the  every-day  affairs  of  life." 
— Chicago  Daily  Neivs. 

"  It  is  brimming  over  with  humor,  and  the 
reader  who  can  follow  the  fortunes  of  the  redbird 
alone,  who  flutters  through  the  first  few  chapters, 
and  not  be  moved  to  long  laughter,  must  be  sadly 
insensitive.  But  laugh  as  he  may,  he  will  always 
revert  to  the  graver  vein  which  unobtrusively 
runs  from  the  first  to  the  last  page  in  the  book. 
He  will  lay  down  the  narrative  of  almost  gro 
tesque  adventure  with  a  keen  remembrance  of  its 
tenderness  and  pathos." — Neiv  Tork  Tribune. 


Pritchard,   Martin  J. 

WITHOUT  SIN  :    A 'novel.   I2mo.    $1.50. 

Third  edition. 

*J(t*The  New  York  Journal  gave  a  half-page  re 
view  of  the  book  and  proclaimed  it  "  the  most 
startling  novel  jet." 

"Abounds  in  situations  of  thrilling  interest.  A 
unique  and  daring  book." — Review  of  Reviews 
(London). 

"One  is  hardly  likely  to  go  far  wrong  in  pre 
dicting  that  '  Without  Sin  '  will  attract  abundant 
notice.  Too  much  can  scarcely  be  said  in  praise  of 
Mr.  Pritchard's  treatment  of  his  subject." — 
Academy. 

"  The  very  ingenious  way  in  which  improbable 
incidents  are  made  to  appear  natural,  the  ingenious 
manner  in  which  the  story  is  sustained  to  the  end, 
the  undoubted  fascination  of  the  writing,  and  the 
convincing  charm  of  the  principal  characters,  are 
just  what  make  this  novel  so  deeply  dangerous 
while  so  intensely  interesting." — The  World 
(London). 

Raimond,  C,  E. 

THE  FATAL  GIFT  OF  BEAUTY,  AND 
OTHER  STORIES.  By  the  Author  of 
"  George  Mandeville's  Husband"  etc. 
l6mo.  $1.25. 

A  book  of  stories  which  will  not  quickly  be  sur 
passed  for  real  humor,  skillful  characterization 
and  splendid  entertainment.  "The  Confessions 
of  a  Cruel  Mistress "  is  a  masterpiece,  and  the 
"Portman  Memoirs"  are  exceptionally  clever. 


14  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 

LOAN  DEPT. 

This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below,  or 

on  the  date  to  which  renewed. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediate  recall. 


REC'D  LD 


AUGl5'64-5PM 


IN 


/U/G    319ft; 


YB  72894 


mmmi 


